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OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Friday at last! This has been a loooooong week. Again. 18 days 'til Christmas and I have so much to do between work, medical appointments, and personal stuff that I need to make To Do lists every day (including a planned route so I'm not doubling back driving places). Admittedly, I'm ready for December 26th!

Eff off to:

  • Know-it-alls who get p!ssy when you point out that they are WRONG. No, I was NOT ignoring your IM. I do NOT have that communication software on my computer. That software won't work on my current OLD computer. I'm in line for an upgrade. There is this old-fashioned thing called "email". Even more antiquated is that doohickey called "telephone". The boss lets me have both of those. Use one.
  • People who constantly INSIST that they are right.
    "You know so-n-so."
    "No, I don't."
    "Sure, you do."
    "No, I've never met him."
    "Oh, I'm sure you have. At that-place."
    "I have never been to that-place."
    "I'm sure you have."
    "I (bloody well) have NEVER been to that-place."
    "Well you must remember when so-n-so did such-n-such."
    "I don't know so-n-so."
    "I'm sure you do."
    And I'm sure you are a facking obstinate butthead who would continue to insist you're right if God himself appeared as George Burns, parted Lake Superior, made your post-hysterectomy body 10 months pregnant with a giraffe, and smacked you upside the head repeatedly with a burning bush. Sigh...
  • My PITA coworker who keeps trying to suck me in on the work decorating. NO, I do not have time. I did not have time 2 weeks ago, I did not have time last week, I have not had time THIS week, and I do not have time this weekend. What do you not understand about I DO NOT HAVE TIME?
  • People who know absolutely NOTHING about a subject, but constantly try to shove their inexperienced, uneducated dilettantish opinion down your throat. Don't tell me how to drive a stickshift when you've never driven one - hell, you dont even drive! I'll consider your opinion AFTER you get behind the wheel of something other than a Fisher-Price toy.
  • And a YUGE eff off to my own body. My phsyical therapist was working on my psoas last night. OMFG, the pain! That was after I did my best imitation of a contortionist, stretching things I haven't stretched in too long. Today I feel like I was run over by a herd of elephants. Oooooooowwwwwwwww....

I hope you have a safe and blessed weekend and that any troubles you may encounter are minimal!


notarelative's picture

Eff off

To the pharmaceutical manafacturer who decided to stop producing my blood pressure medication.

To the drugstore who doesn't have it and told me it was on order

To the same drugstore who then messaged my doctor to change my meds without telling me

To my SD who hasn't had time in the last month to look at her calendar to give DH a date that is mutually convenient. She was given six dates that work for us and asked if any of those would work for her. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Dang, notarelative, I'm appalled at the drugstore! Sorry about the discontinuation of your meds. Why does it seem that the minute we find something that works, they stop making it?

What's the plan with SD?

notarelative's picture

The med is a generic version that the supplier of this drugstore (chain) has stopped producing. The FDA has the drug listed on its drug shortage web page due to the production stop. Luckily the store (different chain) across town has a different supplier and I should be able to get a 90 day supply later today. 

As to SD, I expect she'll wait until the night before the last listed date (as she did last year) to ask if we still have availability the next day. If she doesn't reply, oh well, what we planned won't get done. DH will be disappointed, but he won't beg for time. He'll hide his disappointment, shrug his shoulders, and go on. I think I'm more disappointed in her than he is.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Phew! Glad some is available for you.

Did you think she would outgrow this kind of behavior? I keep thinking the SDs will start acting more maturely, but it never happens. And SD25 has 2 kids.

notarelative's picture

I didn't meet DH until all the kids, his and mine, were adults. Personality, compassion, and caring was pretty much baked in by then. I don't expect things to change and neither does DH. But, even knowing how it is, and how it will be, it still hurts to see DH ignored.

Major Blunder's picture

Although there are plenty of things I could list I am refraining this week from the Eff OFF list as I am trying to be more positive, and I am positive that everything irking me can EFF OFF  !!!!!!!!

thinkthrice's picture

bookkeeping and recordkeeping for the business.  He thinks it's just a snap!

In other news, i have not completed Christmas decorations yet (indoor and outdoor--no Chef does NOT do exterior decorating other than to hang the lighted Christmas wreath on the garage)

I have yet to get a tree which I hope to do at the local U-Cut place,  it's great because it's a 3 minute drive from my house.  I intend to make some KETO egg nogg and enjoy whilst decorating this weekend.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

With everything going on, I have not even LOOKED at a box of Christmas decorations. DH has been worked so hard at work that he's exhausted. Doesn't look like we'll be putting up anything this year.

KETO egg nog?? Could you please share the recipe?

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture


  • DHR making me worry, showing up, literally having a nice chat with me, saying "I see the girls are in good hands, you have my cell number if you need it." And then leaving. I cleaned the whole house... AND lost hours at work to fit their schedule... And it took like 15 minutes...
  • How frick fracking icy my office is... The boss man is running the fricking AC in the winter. The heck? (thank goodness for space heaters!)
  • Having to finish Christmas shopping this weekend on my own since Dh again works 48 hours (His boss gave him some extra hours for Christmas, I guess I don't have to this weekend... But if it all gets done this weekend. it sure saves me some time later!)
  • Other personal things that are just frustrating and worrisome, but I got this!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

PA, you certainly do "got this"! I have a lot of admiration for you, young lady. Give rose

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Advice, it's already chaotic. IMO! I'd honestly be okay with fast-forwarding to December 26!

advice.only2's picture

Agreed Aniki agreed! BD's dance recital is next week so she is at the studio every night until then and then after that DH is having surgery (and he's a huge man baby) then family is coming for Christmas so I have to get all the sorted out...yeah just not ready

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Ballet or ??

My DH is absolutely AWFUL when he's sick or hurt (or recovering from surgery). His picture should be next to "curmudgeon" in the dictionary!

18 days, 1 hour, and 12 minutes until the skid invasion. Not that I'm counting....

advice.only2's picture

Ballet, Hip-Hop and Musical Theatre, she is in four dances total plus a solo, so she's pretty busy.

Yep my DH is a man baby and will cry and whine and milk this for all its worth.

Yuck to the skidvasion, thankfully I don't have that problem anymore.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Wow, sounds like it! Very cool. Smile

I'm looking forward to 2021. PigPen graduates from HS and already plans to move to the Southwest. Unfortunately, the SDs have no plans to move. Probably too far away from the ATM, er, DH. He no longer gives them money, but they still try.

Siemprematahari's picture


What a week you've had so on behalf of this post and Eff of FRIDAY. I want to say..................

-Eff off to all those @ssholes who p!ssed you off and can't take NO for an answer.

*On a positive note hope therapy gets easier and that you get well soon. Keep up with the PT and sometimes you got to go through the pain to get to the other side.

Have a wonderful weekend amiga!!

Aniki-Moderator's picture


I honestly do NOT understand why people think that obnoxious nagging will change my mind. Busy means BUSY. Unless you clone me or get me Hermione's time turner, I simply cannot help you.

So true about PT. My therapist knows that he can push me and push me and I will grit my teeth and push on. No pain, no gain!

Hope you have a wonderul weekend, too!

Merry's picture

I work in a compliance area of my university. It is an incredibly rewarding and interesting job. But I'm not the one making the rules -- just making sure we comply with them. So EFF OFF to people trying to make ME out to be the bad guy when I call them out on their own lack of compliance. I am trying to keep your ass out of jail, idiot, so fill out the g.d. form. You could have been finished in the time it took you to call me and bitch.

Cover1W's picture

I work in compliance too, it's a fun job but there's days I come home and don't also want to be the compliance manager at HOME!!!


Aniki-Moderator's picture

Argh, Merry, that is frustrating. I've had people ask me to perform a task, but I do not have the tools OR access to do it. I tell them who does. What do they do? INSIST they I have the ability/access when I have already showed the my access says NO ACCESS. Duh.

Cover1W's picture

I EFFED off so much I called in sick today so I can have my malfunctioning dishwasher evaluated. So yay day off but dammit I don't want to buy a new dishwasher right now!

.... anyone have brand recommendations? We have a cheaper Whirlpool that lasted three years, with every other day use....likely we need heavier duty.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Cover, the only brand of dishwasher that I've ever found reliable is.... Aniki. I have never had anything other than my own 2 hands!

Cover1W's picture


I hate hate hate washing dishes and with DH it's 10x worse because he goes through so many dishes in one day it's unbelievable. I refuse to do it. DH doesn't have the 'clean gene' either so hea can let them stack up. Ugh. Need a dishwasher.

Merry's picture

I've been happy with Bosch. We also have a Kenmore, one of their top of the lines, and I like that one too. I picked this particular model because it has wine glass holders on the top rack.I have my priorities.

Cover1W's picture

Well, this is a fantastic feature!!!

Result is it's a fairly cheap fix so we will put off purchase till next fall. Yay!

queensway's picture

Eff off to a wedding I have to attend the weekend before Christmas. Not only do I have things to do for Christmas I have to put up with my DH's screwed up family. Oh and maybe the step's will be there. Oh yippee!

Aniki I hope your pain goes away and you feel better!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Because no one has ANYTHING to do the weekend before Christmas...

I was invited to a 50th birthday party. The gal's birthday is the 16th. Why not have the party on the 15th?? Nope. But she's getting miffy with people who cannot attend because they're busy. Um...

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

So it's kinda of... okay , it is me, i know that.

1) my Aunt shows up two or three months ago.  Says she got cell phones and tablets for just $1 more and they are for my girls!! And that I just have to pay her the monthly phone bill for them!  And that she went ahead and signed two years contracts for these piece of crap weird oh off brand phone and tablets for my two elementary age school daughters that I didn't want have cell phones (THAT"S WHY THEY DIDN"T ALREADY HAVE THEM< AUNTIE! ) Who does that?  Who signs up someone for a two year contract and committs someone else to a monthly bill without even asking them?!?!  MY bipolar crazy Aunt, that's who.  And when I say she is bipolar and crazy, I mean it.  She did all of this on a manic high and so it takes everything in me and I struggle so hard with conflict and standing up to people to say "NO! I don't want this!  I don't have this in my budget right now or I'd have already gotten them cell phones.  You can't committ me to a two year phone plan for two kids that are 9 and 10."  And what does she do???  She tried to kill herself a few days later.  I have no idea if it was for me saying what I said.  It's probably cause after the mania high she went down to the really low low depression as bipolar people to.  So she was almost successful.  She did a lot of damage.  She was in the hospital a long long long time.  She was a nurse.  She gets out of the hospital and says she is retired and is going to fill for social security but she is going to get like $800 a month.  She is filing for diability ad will only get like $400 more.  So she calls me yesterday and said she has no money and they are about to shut off her cell phone and that I need to pay her $213 phone bill cause some of its for those lines for the tablets and phones for my kids that she signed up for without my permission.  I paid it today but I really, really don't like this.  Is she going to call me every month and want me to pay her $213 a month phone bill?

Then my mom was supposed to go to Orlando, Fl for a dog show for a whole week and stay with my brother.  He lives there.  A week or so ago she asked if she could stay with him for one of those weekender dog shows and he said no as his sister in law would be in town.  Then he posts pictures of my little nephew turning 1 and they had a little family birthday party with that sister in law there.  My mom gets her feelings all hurt and cries for days.  She unfriends my brother and his wife on facebook and says she won't stay with him now for that week trip and says I have to pay for her hotel in Orlando for six days and that's already been betrayed by one of her children.  UGH!!!!!!!  And I did it.  It was a crap load of money to both my mom and my aunt.

I literally just got my first paycheck with my promotion  and I saw none of it.  It all went to my mom and aunt plus some.

I still have that lady and her two daughters living with me.  She said she got turned down from that SHIPT app.  She doesn't seem to be job hunting at all.  And I'm sitting here confessing to you all now that I can complain about them all but deep down , it's me.  I have trouble saying "NO!" and "WHEN ARE YOU GETTING A JOB!"  "ETC, ETC. 

I need to find a backbone and soon or I am going to be so broke   

Aniki-Moderator's picture

NWCH, if I could, I would come over there, smack your hand, give your "roomie" a launch date, and effectively close your pocketbook. Sorry you're dealing with all of this. {{hugs}}

Major Blunder's picture

I feel for you NWCH, I have done the same things like this over and over again and get burnt everytime, some of us just can't help helping even when we get hurt in the end.

{{{{{{{{{{  HUGZ  }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

WarMachine13's picture

Eff off to people who think the tools I paid for are thers for the taking. Walked pass the little douche and pulled my wrench outta his pocket, put in back in my toolbox and locked the damn thing. From here on out it'll stay locked. 

CLove's picture

- To Toxic Troll who somehow cannot find it in her to buy Munchkin SD12 a jacket that fits her for winter, nor any leggings. But can afford a frickn rabbit with big cage and all the extras.

- To DH who tells me Toxic Troll was "tricked by a friend" to troll for men on the internet and lied about it and played victim until he caught her.

- To SD who somehow thinks its ok to let rabbits and dog go hungry while she feeds her own face. Who everytime I ask her to do something, she takes 10, 20, 30 minutes or never. 

- To other SD who thinks its ok to treat me and DH like crap, and ignores DH during bdays and holidays. Because he was never THERE for her. Forgetting about how he did everything for her. And now its Chrismas.

- To drivers on drugs who kill innocent victims that burn in their cars. Happened 2 days ago here in my area.

- To my Dad who is on a massive Keto weight loss and cannot stop talking about it for even 5 minutes.

- To Dh who couldnt seem to get it together to get our photo for this years Chrismas Card, so now we have to do a just us SELFIE so I can rush it to costco in time to print and send in time for Christmas.

Whew. That will work for this week!


Aniki-Moderator's picture

Tricked into trolling for men... WTH. Did your DH get hit in the head?! Puh-leeze. Toxic Troll is trolling for a little sumpin' to fill the Troll Hole. Well, maybe not a LITTLE sumpin'...

CLove's picture

Its NOT just a river in Egypt yah know.

The story goes that his sisters ex husbands new fiance was super good friends (er drinking buddy) with Toxic Troll. TT told this woman that men were sending her d!ck pics, and the woman in turn told DH. Who asked her wTF. And she insisted that "she was told by crazy friend that there are these sites with men looking for x,y,z and she should try them", and so she did because of course DH wasnt "paying enough attention to her", and DH wasnt "being nice to her, he was being mean", and she was the victim all along, and it wasnt her fault and she wasnt being physical with them. Things happened, she was thrown out and still wanting to get back together. He went online, created a phony profile, catphished her, made a date and showed up at her apartment, saying "well I guess you are caught now". He said it was for his own knowledge, that they were completely done.

So, the other evening, we had a fight over it, because he was trying to tell me that "it was strange, all these couples that we were friends with, they all broke up all of a sudden, and it was because of this one woman!!!! Like she just put a spell on everyone!!!"

I told him "no, Toxic Troll, is a liar, and she probably always has been, you just didnt see it! You are telling me that all of a sudden she started doing all these horrible things and lying, and it never happened before????"

He is still in denial because, you know, how could he be so foolish as to be hoodwinked for so long. I think it is a shame thing with him, or its been over 5 years since and his mind is glossing over the truth of things.

I have come to the conclusion that I have to let go of the need for him to realize the whole truth of her, and move forward into our future - because she is irrelevant except as child care for Munchkin SD12.

Toxic Troll used to have fun telling DH ALL about her sex life. I did not know the term "enmeshed" then, as I do now, and never said anything. Now I tell him "you dont really need to know about her sex life. Thats enmeshment and inappropriate." He gets it now, I think. And you are right. Shes been acting like a total promiscuous wh@re.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

My DH is still finding out things about BioHo and that she was more of a 'ho than he realized. I suppose they're blind to the fact that these 'hos are 'hos and that they made such a craptastic choice for a partner. 

RVM's picture

after a rough week...eff off to

-convo this morning with SD: "you're a solid potato" me: "I am?" SD: "yes and I'm going to eat you" me: "why?" SD: "so my mommy and daddy can get married again" and refusing to stop saying it no matter how many nice ways I put “it’ll never happen” -ya ya everyone’s been here, I know, but it was my first time after a particularly shit week of her ignoring me, only talking to daddy, rudeness, etc (the harder we try to instill manners and respect the worst the week got)

-the glass of wine that pushed me over the edge to telling DH I hate his kid

-our week basically be a fight every night because we’re both exhausted 

-feeling MASSIVE guilt over hating my SD (she’s a 4yr old...not exactly committing hate crimes) -its like my body and brain are just actively rejecting her. Ive never felt hate like thus especally when i know logically it doesnt make sense

-adjusting to the fact that all the things I wanted in life I won’t have, because my partner is rad and way better, and being ok with it, but also being a pitty party about it (eff to the pitty party part)

-to my partner’s lack of EQ and picking bullshit fights (I’m dealing with the fear of blurting our I hate your kid and you want to pick a fight because I sent a text to my bff while we were chatting over a glass of wine, and you text all the time??)

-to being a hot mess and sobbing about how tired I am to DH who has no idea I’ve been building this guilt ball and hatred...when really be "I'm tired" I mean "it's exhausting pretending to like a child my brain Is forcing me to hate and not trusting you to be ok with me hating her" (and's fucked up to hate a 4yr old. I don't want to. I'm sure she's nice, but I can make it about three minutes before I hate her again. She became such a shit recently -custody changed to full months and Monday facetimed with bm. Ever since she's pretended like I don't exist, been disrespectful, all about mommy -even talking about and insisting DH buy some random chapstick for mothers day gifts??, unkind, playing in crowd/out crowd nonsense)







Aniki-Moderator's picture

Those are some downers, hon. Is DH handling the majority of SD's care? He should be. 

And why is he het up about you sending one text when he's on his phone??

RVM's picture

School year/summers & holiday split with BM. Plan was I'd leave work to be a SAHM, but I've told him I won't if this is how she is going to be and he agrees. Although that's part of my issue is we had a plan and now I've more or less decided not to see any of it to fruition (a kiddo -would be my 1st his 2nd, being a SAHM, etc). I'm getting over my self kitty on this, but definitely spent the week mourning the loss lol. I do a lot of the cooking just by nature of how we live and what we prefer. He does baths and generally bed time. 

He agreed later the cell phone was just an imature attempt at getting attention/picked a pointless fight (we're both exhausted lol)