Remember when BioHo texted me a couple weeks ago?
cn we tlk
When DH and I finally "caught up" with one another that weekend, he rolled his eyes and said, "Just f*cking ignore her." Which I did. Well, BioHo doesn't like being ignored.
DH's car needed some work so he decided to take the day off and surprise me. SO sweet of him as I've been very stressed lately. I came home (ready to chew rebar) to a trail of silk rose petals from the kitchen door, down the hallway, and into the bedroom. No lights, but a bunch of jar candles. And set up on the bed was a lovely 'picnic' of cheese, crackers, veggies, cold shrimp, smoked trout... and DH wearing only a pair of shorts holding a bottle of my favorite champagne! (Have I mentioned I totally adore my husband?)
I'm halfway through a glass of champagne and getting a LOVELY foot massage when there's a knock at the door. We ignored, thinking it was probably an Amazon delivery.
Continue to ignore.
LOUDER AND LONGER knock and my phone dings that I have a text message. DH hands me my phone.
is me cn we tlk
DH: Who is it?
DH: SONOFAF*CKINGB!TCH!!! Drink your champagne, baby. I'll be right back!
~stomps to the door and FLINGS it open~
DH: WTF do you want?
Ho: Oh I um what are YOU doing here?
DH: I f*cking LIVE here. WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Ho: I wanted to talk to Aniki.
DH: Aniki is busy.
Ho: ~hurriedly~ I need to talk to her about SD22!
DH: I said NO.
Ho: You can't tell her...
DH: OH YES I F*CKING CAN. SD22 is MY GD daughter.
Ho: Well Aniki...
DH: Aniki has NOTHING to do with SD22 and her shit behavior.
Ho: SD22 needs...
DH: To grow the f*ck up. AND YOU NEED TO GET OFF MY GD PORCH.
DH: Now. Where were we, baby?
Pretty much just drooling over your machismo, DH.