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NO road trip, BioHo

Aniki's picture

BioHo called DH in a tizzy. Naturally, she used SS17's phone to call so DH would answer (he lets 'Ho calls go to voicemail). DH now puts every call on speakphone (regardless of who as he has nothing to hide).

DH: Hey, son!
Ho: It's BioHo - don't hang up! It's SS21!!!!!
DH: Did something happen? Is he hurt?
Ho: He's MARRYING that girl as soon as he gets back to the states!!!!!
DH: I know that. So what.
Ho: But it's a courthouse wedding.
DH: So.F*cking.What.
Ho: I want to be there. Can we drive down together?
DH: Have you lost your f*cking mind?!?! I wouldn't let you in my f*cking car if the hounds of hell were snapping at your ass. You need to lay off the damn sauce. ~click~
(at which point I snorked water up and out of my nose and howled with laughter)

 

Per SS17, Mr. Pinhead cannot take time off of work to drive down there so 'Ho wants to ride with us. Actually, I'm willing to bet a bottle of Blanton's that she wanted it to be just her and my DH.

'Ho options:

  • Drive solo
  • Drive with SS17 (he'd have to get out of school)
  • Fly (hope her broom is good for long distance)
  • Cry a river into a case of Arbor Mist because she can't be there.

Beeyotch is whacked!

Comments

CLove's picture

Love the language!!!

Wish DH would do the same with Toxic Troll. 

BioHo needs to get a bigger broom maybe...

Aniki's picture

Bahahahahaaaaa!!!

 Likely killed too many brain cells with booze. 

JRI's picture

It would crack us all up if you let her go with you guys, I'm sure it would be hilarious.  Please, please, please....

advice.only2's picture

I'm going with cry a river and then tell everybody about how her horrible ex wouldn't give her a ride to see THEIR son get married.

Aniki's picture

Yes, they do. 

https://www.arbormist.com/

With fun flavors! 

Arbor Mist is the brand name of an alcoholic beverage which blends wines such as Merlot, Zinfandel and Chardonnay with fruit flavorings and high fructose corn syrup. 

 

Blanton's is my fave, too! *drinks*

halo1998's picture

level alchyhol.  :)  

It's been a day....**clink*...with my glass of bourbon.  Angel's Envy today...save the Blanton's for special occassions.

Aniki's picture

But ndc, it shouldn't matter because she's so FUN and HAWT! C'mon now. I'm sure you'd like to drive her to the wedding...

Lol

JRI's picture

You could be the poor girl marrying your SS and have her for a mother'in-law forever.

Aniki's picture

The horror! If SS21 is smart, he and his stb wife will stay in the south - hundreds of miles away from 'Ho. With only an annual visit at Christmas (SS21 has been home 3 times in 3 years).

notarelative's picture

I my mind, I have an image of her riding with you, seated like the grandmother in the National Lampoon's Vacation movie.

Kes's picture

Love your DH's responses!  My DH would essentially respond the same (I damn well hope, anyway!) but he wouldn't be so "blunt" lol. 

Aniki's picture

My DH is a salty Marine and that was somewhat tame for him! He no longer has to "play nice" with 'Ho, so his filter is nowhere in sight when he gas to interact with her.