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BioHo got blasted...

Aniki's picture

...by my studly DH. Bahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!

DH and I went to a Halloween party Saturday night at my sister's house. DH left his phone at home. My phone was on the fireplace mantle (no pockets) in case any party guests called. 

Around 11pm, I retrieved my phone to take some pics of late arrivals (they attended a wedding beforehand) and noticed I had 2 text messages from an unknown number at 9:32 and 9:39. But the writing was certainly familiar...

     9:32pm: Can u cl me
     
9:39pm: R u thr

I have all of the phone numbers of the party guests except for one. And she was there. So, even though I was fairly certain who it was, I texted back: Who is this? 
 

We didn't get home 'til almost 3am (stayed to help sis clean up) and went straight to bed.  Around 11am, I grabbed my phone to check the weather forecast and saw I had another text message...

     1:17am: This BioHo cl me asap
 

I showed it to DH. He said "WTF, I think that's Spawn12's number" and got his phone. He had a message from BioHo (her number) that read Cl me and 17 missed phone calls. That's right. SEVENTEEN. Not a single voicemail. No voicemail (to me) means it's not that damn important. 

So DH called 'Ho and the sh!tshow began. 

DH: What do you want?
Ho: Why didn't you call me back last night?!
DH: I was busy. WTF do you want?
Ho: SS17's car wouldn't start last night.
DH: So?
Ho: He was at a friend's house.
DH: And?
Ho: It's close to you.
DH: So what?
Ho: I wanted you to fix his car or bring him home.
DH: I'm not your f*cking mechanic and taxi service. YOU could have gotten him.
Ho (whining): But he was near YOUR house!
DH: Told you I wasn't home. Oh well.
Ho: I texted Aniki and she didn't call me either. 
DH: Aniki doesn't have any messages from you.
Ho: Yes she does.
DH (so 'Ho can hear): Aniki, can I see your phone please? ~short pause ensues~
DH to 'Ho: Whose phone did you use?
Ho: Spawn's, but I...
DH: SS17 was NOT hurt. He was NOT in f*cking danger. It was NOT a GD F*CKING emergency! STOP BOTHERING MY WIFE WITH YOUR BULLSHIT OR I'LL FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER FOR HER!! ~hangs up~

The only problem when DH uses speakerphone is that I have to muffle my hysterical laughter! Lord, that man is sexy...

Comments

TwelveLongYrs79's picture

Oh..I mean Nce

Does she get charged per letter in texts, or is she that dumb....LOL

Letti.R's picture

BioHo must be one of the most retarded people on this planet.
Never learns...
(Good on your, DH, Aniki Smile )

Aniki's picture

Letti, I sometimes think that 'Ho believes she can be water on a rock: wear it down and finally get what she wants. What 'Ho fails to realize is that my long game is Olympic Strong.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I may or may not think your DH is BOMB.

If only he had held a "how to not be a DB DH class" like a year ago... Over that... LMAO

Please tell me the second he hung up you were dying. I would have been.

Aniki's picture

PA, I had my face buried in a pillow and tears running down my face!

Next time, I won't bother to hide my laughter and hope that 'Ho will hear Evil Aniki... *diablo*

CLove's picture

Need your DH to teach my DH how not to allow Toxic Troll any leeway. This weekend Toxic Troll whined about waiting 3 hours to pick up her own daughter from school ON HER DAY. Shes not working an actual job, she only does cleaning for a few hours each week, but expects DH to do all the child transport. So she pretty much asked him if he wanted to fight her.

Then he takes kiddo an extra day on Saturday so she can go away for the weekend with her flavor of the week

Aniki's picture

CLove, I don't think your DH gets Munchkin to help out Troll, but is like my DH. He has always been willing to get his kids for 'extra' days as often as possible because he never planned to be a PT father. 'Ho could have had a date with Pennywise for all he cares. LOL!

What a ridiculous whine. But how can we expect anything less from these worthless POS beeyotches?

CLove's picture

If it was up to me. No - my issue is that she got very beligerant about picking up kiddo on her day, and dropping her off to a sleepover, not that he was taking an extra day. Wanted to fight him about things, and then "well thats what you do". And then extra details about how much the guy makes, and then "can you check my fluids" for her holiday trip.

Pretty pathetic.

CLove's picture

Where yours tells the bioho to eff off, mine simply cannot, is not willing to take her by the horns and toss her over the side. He simply avoids, where yours will directly and firmly address straight on. Very admirable. I am hopeing with time things will change and at least reading this I have a good picture of what it is supposed to look like!

Aniki's picture

Believe me when I say that DH still avoids 'Ho to an extent. The majority of what she contacts him about is BS - like texting him a picture and asking him - in typical 'Ho speak - if it's a tic (this tic?). Apparentlly Mr. Pinhead is too stupid to know a single thing so she must ask my DH.

In the beginning, DH did not want to "rock the boat". The twuntier 'Ho became, disgusted DH more and more and he refused to be her "beck 'n call boy" and finally started standing up for himself. I may have had something to do with that...

ndc's picture

Oh, Mr. Aniki is all that!  And BioHo is dumb. Wouldn't it have been easier for her to deal with SS17's car herself  than to spend over 4 hours trying to reach your DH? Or does she just want to be "relevant?"

Aniki's picture

"BioHo is dumb" makes me think of Spaceballs...LOL

But ndceeeeee!!! BioHo was driiiiiiiiiiinking! You wouldn't want her to stop driiiiiiiiiiinking and be responsible, would you?

And you answered your own question. 'Ho wants to be relevant.

queensway's picture

Anytime a man stands up for his wife I think it is sexy. But in your case he is more than sexy. He loves you!!!!!!!!!! In every way. But then  he is lucky to have you for his wife. Your blogs make me smile.

Aniki's picture

Aw, thank you, queen! *give_rose*  Psssst... I think he's lucky, too. Wink

I mostly try to post blogs that (hopefully) can be a bright spot in someone's day. 

ndc's picture

The saga of SD26's graduation celebration brightened my day.  I got a good laugh out of that, even as I felt so bad for your poor SD.

thinkthrice's picture

bioho is certainly vowel challenged!!  I am soooo glad the ferals PASed out as there would be NO DOUBT that the Girhippo would be doing shit like this as Chef can fix pretty much anything. 

The most I ever got was the ferals whining that "mom's water heater isn't working"  Chef replied: "well have your mom call her grandpa!"

Aniki's picture

Thrice, I read that as "Bowel challenged"...LMAO!

In the beginning, 'Ho used to call DH aaaaaaall the time to fix things - because my DH can also fix pretty much anything. That crap stopped after I came into the picture. I made some comment about how DH could be BioHo's personal lackey, er, repairman, or tell her to "call a f*cking professional because you have plans". He did.

thinkthrice's picture

Well the backstory is in my case that the Gir's granddad used to LUUURRRVVE Chef.  He was a repair dude and code inspector and would often have Chef ride down with him to Florida to fix his manufactured home when granddad was getting too elderly to do so.  (This is Battleaxe Gallactica's dad)  As far as we know he's still alive and in his 90s

When the Gir and Chef broke up, granddad totally rejected Chef for rejecting his princess granddaughter (Gir).  Good riddance!  I wonder how he felt about being called to fix the water heater? 

Aniki's picture

BioHo's father luuuuuuuurved my DH and was not at all happy when they split. I'm sure 'Ho lied and blamed DH instead of telling Daddy that she's a lying, cheating 'ho.

'Ho moved in with her parents after Spawn's babydaddy dumped her (for being a lying, cxheating 'ho) and never moved out. Her father (who passed away 2 years ago) was forever telling DH how sorry he was that "it didn't work out". 'Ho's parents are (were) actually nice people who didn't deserve the POS they got for a daughter.

somethingwicked's picture

Hilarious! 

Your DH is the *bomb*

WTF is wrong with that HoBag?

Wait.. I think I know..she effing sits on her brain.

Ani ,what  costumes did you and DH wear ? I love that stuff.

Let me guess.Him~ a bread basket..you~ a frilly  upstairs maid apron .

Wink

 

 

Aniki's picture

Wicked, I have my doubts that her brain is big enough to be affected by her arse...

Hey now, DH is only allowed to wear that bread basket at home! DH was On A Tropical Vacation - Hawaiian shirt, clam diggers, deck shoes, straw hat, and sunglasses. I was his Island Girl - bare feet, grass skirt, and floral bikini top (which was actually a flesh-colored camisole with silk flowers sewn on as a bra).

notsobad's picture

Once again I am wondering how these men ever got with these crazy women to start with???

Your DH seems to have really come around and I'm so happy for you.

Aniki's picture

I think it's one of two things...

  1. The woman is good at hiding it. Sort of like being on your best behavior when you're first dating.
  2. The crazy is buried deep inside and some freak catalyst causes the crazy to come out like a rocket blasting off.

 

Thank you! He truly has and I will be forever grateful. I've known him since high school and have loved him for 25 years. He was worth the wait!

notsobad's picture

My DH and BM were high school sweethearts, they'd never dated anyone else. I honestly think that he just thought all women were like her.

His best friend and his father both asked him if he was sure about marring her! They could see it but he couldn't. Now of course he sees all the craziness that was there and still is for that matter.

Thankfully his kids turned out okay and are fully launched adults. BM still tries to get to him but he's good about ignoring her attempts. She would never in a million years try to contact me, and I am very grateful for that!

Aniki's picture

Ermagawd! So sad he thought that. Thank God for you!

I wish 'Ho would permanently lose my number.

Aniki's picture

We wouldn't need this site and the invaluable support we receive! 

I've made some good friends here, which makes me dually glad to have found this site.

Aniki's picture

Tx ckies!

BTW, would you please come clean the coffee off of my computer screen?