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Long Distance Parenting Schedule Question (long sorry)

2inluv2run's picture

Good Morning, I was hoping you guys could help me figure something out. First,I havent been on in awhile (sorry no real reason)but my SS lives 10 hours (one way) away from us. We are objecting the decision allowing him to leave but he's been gone since June 2010 and we are already having a multitude of problems. My question is that we (my DH & I) are interpreting the long distance schedule different from BM and I was going to see what you guys thought.

So the long distance schedule says that in even years BM has the child on Thanksgiving from 6pm Wednesday to 6pm Thursday. Then later in the schedule it reads that "For the holidays that create a 3 day weekend, the non-residential parent shall have parenting time from Friday to Monday when the holiday is their scheduled holiday. In addition, if there is an extended weekend as a result of a school conference, the non-residential may exercise parenting time for the weekend."

So here's our questions, obviously she gets the child on Thanksgiving but then he doesnt have school on Friday which we read as that we then get him for the weekend. I believe the paragraph later in the schedule is intended to allow for more visitation of the non-residential parent, not the residential parent or they wouldnt make the distinction. She claims that since its her holiday that she gets him from Thursday thru the weekend. I say that the paragraph is intended for us the NON-RESIDENTIAL parent and our holidays and since Friday he is off school we get him. WDYT?

And on a side note, yes my DH has already called his lawyer who says the schedule is vague and not really into effect since we are still in court objecting to everything. However that does not help us at all since he's still down there and its not like we are getting him Wed and EOW anymore and have been following this schedule since June.

TIA for your opinions.

Comments

2inluv2run's picture

We dont want it to end at 6pm. Its her holiday we are fine with her keeping him all of Thursday we just want to be able to meet her on Friday and pick him up for the weekend.

2inluv2run's picture

Sorry, I should also clearify this. We dont get every other weekends or anything like that since thy are so far away. But we do get every weekend where the child has a Friday or Monday off. That is the reason why we say we get the weekend. He has Friday off of school, she will still have him for Thanksgiving. Does that make more sense? Shes taking Friday as her Thanksgiving holiday, I dont think it falls under that.

caregiver1127's picture

Well then tell her that you want to take Christmas on a monday after christmas - you don't get to pick when the holiday happens - it falls on Thursday so that is the day that the holiday is - what now the BM's get to pick when a holiday falls even though the rest of the country has to follow the official day - my DH would love to have off on Friday but he can't go to his job and tell them that Thanksgiving falls on Friday - they would laugh him out of the office!

caya506's picture

"For the holidays that create a 3 day weekend, the non-residential parent shall have parenting time from Friday to Monday when the holiday is their scheduled holiday."

I read it as, if it is your and DH's year for Thanksgiving, and it creates a 3 day weekend then you could take the child for that 3 day weekend. But since it is her scheduled Thanksgiving you are technically not entitled to that 3 day weekend. (unless it is one of your regularly scheduled weekends). But like luv them all said, Thanksgiving is not considered a 3 day weekend holiday.

Nette5's picture

The way I read that, it states that the Thanksgiving holiday lasts until 6pm on Thursday (24 hours), not the whole weekend. I would think that you should be able to pick him up at 6pm on Thursday evening to start your 3-day weekend. I also understand it as "the non-residential parent shall have parenting time from Friday to Monday when the holiday is their scheduled holiday" means that even though the Thanksgiving holiday is listed as 24 hours, you will still get this weekend when it is 'your' year for Thanksgiving.

On a side note, if you are still in court over visitation schedule, see if you can get it set in there that you can get him at a set time 'the last day of school before the extended weekend'. That way you don't have to wait till later on that Friday to pick him up.

Good luck and I hope you get him for that time.

2inluv2run's picture

You interpret it the same way I do. We are still in court but its just been lawyers objecting to decisions, its not like we have an actual trial or anything at this point. But at some point in time (maybe in our appeal) we hope to get things spelled out more clearly.

Thanks all for your opinions! I know its not really clear so I knew different people would read it differently.

caregiver1127's picture

I think what the 3 day holiday means is what the school gives them off - all holidays are only 24 hours - I would say it is according to what days they have off from school - so if I were reading it I would say that you can pick up his son on Friday and keep him until monday!! There is no 3 day weekend holiday - christmas or new years or memorial day or labor day do not last longer than 24 hours but the time off from school is 3 days - so yes you get him for the 3 day weekend - it makes sense that the non custodial parent get the long weekend because the custodial parent gets them all the time.

2inluv2run's picture

Lol, such a nightmare, hello if 2 people spend 2 years or more in court and cant agree on a single thing why does the court think they will both interpret this vague order the same way?

We do not have any "scheduled" weekend. They dont have dates breaken down or anything we just get him whenever he has a 3 day weekend off from school.

On his school schedule it is termed "Thanksgiving Break"

And if she wants to play that card and read it that way, does it mean that since its an even year and we get him for Christmas break she does not get her 9pm Christmas Eve to 6pm Christmas Day?

I dont even care anymore, I get so frustrated. Now I'm questioning my original thinking :? Regardless my husband hasnt seen his child the whole month of November, cant she give up one weekend?