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Just trying to protect myself..

queen_bethy's picture

Do you think it's wrong, now that SS is old enough to report back things to his mother to fuel the money fit she is in, to put my foot down about him coming here for visits?

He's 15 1/2 now and everytime he comes here, he tells her all about something new we might have that she can't possibly afford. He's also become very sneaky and I'm afraid of him stealing confidential information about our life.

Can't we all just get along?

anotherlazydaze's picture

When I first starting dating my BF I was nervous to tell him anything about my previous relationship. In all honesty, I was really embarrassed that I let myself be treated badly by a man. I was embarrassed that I spent three years with someone and I couldn't see just how bad of a person he really was.
Now I think my BF is feeling the same thing. I think he is embarrassed by his ex's constant harassing him and her eratic behavior, so he hasn't been telling me about it.

...Biomom has been quiet lately, oh, oh, I know I think she might have a boyfriend now!

happy mom's picture

Hahahahaha, I think she has a boyfriend now cause we are not getting nagged on too much from her since last month. This is a good feeling, no more nagging emailsf from her and her stupid demands and comments. Knock on wood, it might not last long...

Trouble in Paradise

smcpaw's picture

Well I confronted my boyfriend about my feelings of being the outsider when it comes to his daughter and exwife. The us against them syndrome is being created by both the biomom and her daughter and that is the very same thing that my boyfriend doesn't like about how they only tell him what he needs to know when it comes to his daughter. Well... that's how I now feel with this whole counseling thing (he and his daughter had their first session Monday night - which is great that they are trying to work out their differences - which was my suggestion in the first place).

...You gotta do the fixing....

happy mom's picture

I just realized that when things don't get better, you, "yourself" must have to deal with the ex or stepchild. We can't always rely on our other half (spouse/BF) to the do the talking for us to straighten things out the way we want it to be. We need to stand up for ourselves and tell them straight in their face. I'm sick of having my husband talk to ex or stepson about my concerns, no more middle person. Ultimately the problem that needs to get fixed affects the whole family and YES I'm part of the family so I get to say what I need to say.

...I don't want to share my husband!

happy mom's picture

I just can't stand it when I have to share my husband with that wicked exwife. I know that they discuss issues about their son and all but I just can't stand that. I didn't realize at the beginning that this was going to affect me big time...with his exwife in the picture and the child ignoring me. Everytime I see my stepson, his actions remind me of HER! UGHHHH! How should I handle my feelings?

Is it worth it?

anotherlazydaze's picture

I just found this site while searching for anything that might help me deal with my BF's ex-wife and her recent tantrums. We have been together for four months, and it was only last week that she went crazy and twice put their sick almost 3 year old son in the car in the middle of the night so she could come scream at my BF for having a girl at his house. Since then she has been harassing my BF and he has started changing our routines to avoid any drama with her. And he has pretty much shut down emotionally with me. They have been divorced for nine months, and separated for two years.

Starting Over Again...

smcpaw's picture

Well, my boyfriend's daughter called Sunday afternoon and told her father about a counseling appointment for Monday at 6:30 p.m. (she called the week before with less than 15 minutes notice and my boyfriend wasn't able to go). He agreed to go to counseling with her (her and her biomom have been going for a few visits - at our suggestion the last time the daughter was out of control and manipulating everyone in her path). We then were told Monday afternoon that the daughter was coming to our house after school and spending the night.

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