Belle's Blog about the Other Woman - whether she be a SM, or just the Other Woman, and the responses to it got me thinking for a bunch of various reasons.

One of the things it led me to though was the art of self-sabotage.

You know... when you do something purposefully destructive to yourself, your life, your psyche, your relationship.... because it is easier or more of a relief to just do it, rather than take the harder road of self-restraint, or discovery, or whatever the case may be.

I don"t know how to start?I have been reading post on this site for a good while I just have never posted here before.Well here is my life! I got married when I was 32 years old just never found my soul mate before then.I first saw her where I worked, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen!! She had three kidds when we were married,she had two previous marriages,one kid first marriage,two kids secound.After we were married for two years we decided to have one of our own.

question.....I'm seeing this a a common occurrence now after searching online. We had our first child together. BM got pregnant about six months later.

I should check the chineese calendar, as I'm pretty sure that is what this year is.
DH tells me on Monday, Tuesday and this morning, that he will not be able to come home this weekend. He is suppose to have his children this weekend, and his mom's 60th b'day party is on Saturday, and my mom's 61 party is on Sunday. I tell him fine, work, not much you can do about it. I tell him I will get his kids on Saturday, take them to his mom's party and then take them home. I thought I was being nice.

Well BM lost again in court, nothing was granted to her and now we have the boys 90% of the time. What is she thinking she moved to Florida from San Diego and only calls the boy at the advice of the Mediator and that’s only twice a week and only been for the last month. So judge denied her request for any physical custody, denied her request that we pay half of travel expenses for them to see her on holidays which they refuse to see her anyways so good luck with that one BM….. lets see FSA force unwilling children on a plane.

So there are a few blogs on here now talking about BMs right to be evil. I have seen on here that some people think if the SM started out as the OW then its fair game to make her life hell. What do you guys think about this? I for one have been cheated on and I think its ok to be angry and its ok to call your EH names and call the OW names for a while. At what point do wronged BMs need to move on or is there a point?

Recently, some of the things said by people on ST who are SMs AND BMs have gotten me thinking. Specifically, yes, this is a forum for stepmoms, but many people on here are both. And those people, at least, can see both sides of the story and have some sympathy for the BM perspective in the SM/BM struggle.

when i become i bm, im
Submitted by smnikki on Thu, 01/14/2010 - 3:53pm.

when i become i bm, im guessing because i am so hands on, i would feel the same in a way. but like you im not a nut job, and i would not have had the cops called on me for taking my child when it wasnt my night.

BPD BM sends lovely email about SD16 3/4 and her long visitation this WE. Demands DH to make sure SD has everything she needs for the WE. WHAT? This SD has been doing changeover's for over 10 years now. This SD packs herself everytime, for over past 5 years. This SD is not a child anymore---how IDIOTIC is this? But, of course, this is coming from a 40yr old woman who still calls her Parents Mommy and Daddy, and those same BGP REFUSE to let SD's pack for any summer trips for themselves. PLEASE!!!!.

Ok so our baby is almost due and we got a new expedition to fit our growing family. I told SS12 that once the baby was born that he would have to take the thrid row seat with my other SS9 and my bio daughter 8 that way my bio daughter12 can help me with baby if need be. FH took it to heart and felt like I am excluding him from doing the samethings my Daughter dose, he thinks that since they are the same age that they can do the same things.