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ADVICE NEEDED

nicolerw's picture

Submitted by nicolerw on Thu, 10/11/2007 - 2:13pm

I need some advice im scared, when he reaches the age where he blames SM for mommy and daddy not being together.im worried that when SS gets a little older he is going to want me out of the picture.Im hoping that is won't be as bad since ive been around since SS was an infant,verses if SM became part of his life when he was older.I love SS so much but i know the time will come where he is going to see me as the bad guy(evil SM)and i will be hurt.I know BM will just make it 100 times worse fill his head with lies about me.I just need some advice for when the day comes, a good way to handle it.

Comments

Chocoholic's picture

Submitted by Chocoholic on Thu, 10/11/2007 - 3:07pm

You can't stop the ideas that bm may put in SS's head... you can't stop how she portrays you to SS....
What you do is be yourself and love, love, love your SS.
As SS gets older he will realize whos lying and whos not... who loves him, who stirs the pot, etc.

Relax and just be yourself... SS will love you for it!

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Thu, 10/11/2007 - 6:36pm

First, and most importantly, what you need to do to prepare for that day is NOT WORRY ABOUT IT. Don't bother yourself with what might happen in the future. Just be as good a step mom that you can be between now and eternity and take every day as it comes.

Maybe BM will start to fill SS's head with things. But you know what? Kids are really smart. My SS hears crap about me all the time from BM, but he knows it isn't true. He likes me for who I am and he resents his mother for trying to lie to him about me and turn him against me when he doesn't see anything wrong with me. Just relax! If you spend time worrying about it, that will be time wasted that you could have spent having fun and enjoying yourself and your time with SS. And remember...the more fun he has with you, and the more he gets to know how great you are, the less likely it will be that he will ever think negatively of you.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

kathleen's picture

Submitted by kathleen on Thu, 10/11/2007 - 10:01pm

We all need to live in the present. If you worry about what might be, you will create that with your thoughts. Think about how you feel about your step child now. Think about love. Everything will evolve the way it should. Stay in the present, and love this child, your husband and yourself. All will be perfect. I promise.