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So what can be done w/deadbeat BM

overit2's picture

Ok-so I've been logging the BS she's pulled...and apparently the bf's parents have also.

Since November 15th-that is in the last 60 something days-the bf has had his D 38 days/nights...we also know of at least now 6 overnights at other peoples houses (friends from school, her parents, etc) there could be more. Not to mention I'm sure there are a few days and random afternoon hrs I've forgotten to log about.

By Sunday I was raving and in tears...sick of it. Not to mention my deadbeat exh....so we are snowed in pretty much all week w/kids no school last week. The mom could have picked her up b4 the storm and didn't. My ex who never picks the kids up Friday as he's supposed to-came at 630PM on Saturday! I was LIVID!

I friggin hate the "i have to work" excuse-well idiots, so do we...and when we do we find our OWN arrangements that dont' include you guys or your families to bail us out. We use our own sitters/parents/pay for after school.

So-already bf and I are burnt out, tired, exhausted-feeling good about at least 24hrs together. We had a wonderful date night Saturday...he was in one of those sweet moods and kept telling me how he felt about me, all these wonderful things that I just blush remembering-he even got teary eyed. I know that I am love and adored by this man. I swear it was one of those ramblings that you start sweating wondering if they are about to propose lol. He went on about all the good things about me, the relationship, us, how he feels...I've never had a man express himself like that-I was floored. Went on through the whole dinner pretty much. I realized he was sincere. I realized how much I love this man and as far as realtionships go there will never be another like this-and I say that because of the positives. I can honestly say I think that very few luck out in life to find the real deal and it be mutual-and that's how we both feel about eachother. Outside circumstances be damned-we want this to work.

BUT THEN-Sunday morning-we get a text from his dad saying the D was goign to come over to stay w/them Sunday evening till Monday evening...you know MLK day-and the bitch who is off work Mondays bullshit and won again. I lost it-I cried and cried...it was the add on of being crapped on by his ex, my ex...and his parents not standing up to his ex.

It's so incredibly unfair that on paper she gets to have full custody and a good paycheck yet NEVER is a parent. He has her now more then 50pct of the time-the other times she's w/some other random person-her mom is NOT stepping up to parent or even be with her but yet can have a paycheck and custody in paper. It's sickening-it's unfair.

We have a deadbeat non custodial AND custodial parent. We think somehow life knows we are better at this parenting thing so where we always get the kids w/us it must be because they are better off-we know they are happier w/us. It's hard to rarely get a break.

The problem we mainly have is that at least w/mine we already know what to expect. He consistenly fails and consistently only sees him 3 days a month (2 nights)...so we can deal w/it. With his D we enver know-it's whenever the B feels like it-and she'll add an entire week to a day idea. Grantes his parents are much to blame about that. But the uncertainty and never being able to plan anything is hard-dealing w/all three kids is hard. It's hard not knowing if she really IS his D to be going through all this. It's hard because he is thinking hard if he wants to go for custody what would lie ahead-not only in terms of court battles but it's not an easy task to take on full custody-as it is she's a deadbeat, would be worse if she didn't have custody. Do I even want to tackle that possibility.

I mean...we're just stuck, screwed over by this-yet so incredibly in love and grateful to have eachother. It just plain stinks!

Comments

dragonfly5's picture

Overit2, this is my world too! We are just stuck, screwed over by his crazy ex but yet so incredibly in love and grateful to have each other. Our only drama is the ex. It does suck and it is wrong that adults can not and will not behave as adults.

I finally found the man of my dreams but he has an ex that lives to create drama.