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17 year old step son stole my gold Chain that is worth $5000.00 and sold it to a gold buyer.

1968500kr's picture

My 17 year old step son stole my gold chain and sold it to a gold buyer off craigslist. The chain had sentimental value to me and is worth several thousands of dollars. We keep our room locked and the kids have gone as far as stealing the keys to the room and breaking the window of the bathroom to try and get in. It is almost impossible to keep everything locked up all the time. He then took the money and bought a new coat, a new I pod and weed with the money. I want to call the police and try and get me necklace back and prosecute my step son. When I found out I was angry and called him some names and was not very nice I did not physically touch him. In the last couple of months I have been talking to him about trust and asking him to stop sneaking around. He continually does bad things and mom just will not do much about it. She tells me that these are normal teenage things but none of my friend’s children are doing this. Also my adult children never did anything like what these two do. Now things are getting worse and she says that she can not have her son arrested and if I do she will leave me. My two teenage step children continue to lye, Cheat, and steel all the time. I have holes in the wall and broken windows from these kids but she still gets angry when I tell her that she needs to fix it now because it only going to get worse. All she can tell me is she doesn’t want her kids to hate her. Please help I’m a prisoner in my own home. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

iwishyouwould's picture

I agree, Rags needs to tackle this one. And as for my two cents... I think you should call the police. I think you are correct and what happens when he is 18 and steals a car, or breaks the window on someone elses house trying to get in? He'll got to prison. If im correct, I think you get to have a hand in what happens to him if you pressed charges. I think your wife needs counseling - She will leave you if you punish the teenager for stealing and then selling something extremely expensive and valuable to you? Thats no good. Kids end up hating their parents for things LIKE THAT; not for being good parents. Just my two cents.

pat's picture

that tune keeps coming to mind " bad boys ,bad boys, what you going to do when they come for you .... I would call the police. What is next ? Steal the car ? Why do you have to lock up your stuff ? He does it over and over because he knows he will be protected ! :jawdrop:

Shannon61's picture

If she doesn't get these kids under control, you won't have to worry about them stealing from you much longer because they'll end up in jail. They're doing it because mom upholds their foolishness by looking the other way, and she wants you to do the same. But the world won't look the other way. She's only setting them up for failure because down the road they'll cross the wrong person and could end up losing their lives in the process.

You have to get through to your wife. Put the focus on their safety and their future. They are old enough to work (at least part-time) so they can buy some of the things they want. If they don't want to work, perhaps they can earn extra cash by running errands or doing work for neighbors.

Ask her how she would feel if she had to visit them in prison or worse, the cemetary. If her kids hate her for trying to do right by them, she'll have to take that chance. I'd rather have them hate me than end up hating myself because I failed to set them on the straight and narrow. She needs to get a plan for them, set goals and make sure they stay on task. They should be too busy with school work, chores, etc. to have time to steal, etc. Her job as a mother is to teach and prepare, not coddle and enable.

If she doesn't listen suggest counseling. If she does nothing you're going to end up resenting her children (more than you do right now) and that's going to put a huge strain on your marriage.

Finally, this reminds me of an incident regarding my brother's girlfriend. She too had a bad habit of taking things that didn't belong to her. Everyone in town was after her so her mom sent her to live in another state because other family members were there. Afer being there for one month, she went out with some guy, stole from him and he beat her to death . . she was 28.

Good luck.

Rags's picture

You know exactly what to do.

"I want to call the police and try and get me necklace back and prosecute my step son" WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR????????????????????????? :?

Put his thieving druggy ass in prison. $5,000 is grand theft and he will be out of your life for a long, long time.

"She tells me that these are normal teenage things but none of my friend’s children are doing this. Also my adult children never did anything like what these two do. Now things are getting worse and she says that she can not have her son arrested and if I do she will leave me." .....

Not to be insensitive but WTF are you doing keeping this woman and her hell spawn in your life? :jawdrop:

She interfaces with you by threatening to leave and you stick around to let her keep doing it and you allow her to facilitate her children robbing you blind and destroying your home. No relationship based on this can survive. IMHO.

If she were my wife her ass would not hit anything until it bounced on the side walk as she left my property. I would have the SS in jail TONIGHT if I were you.

There is nothing "normal" about the behaviors you describe your Skids doing. If I had stolen jewelry or anything else from my parents they would have hog tied me, then frog marched me to the police station where I would have confessed to killing JFK by the time my parents were done with me. And I was born 4mos after he was assassinated.

I certainly understand the difficulties associated with ending a long relationship. However, investing in a relationship should only be done when that relationship is with a person of quality and of impeccable character. Your SO is an enabler of criminal behavior in her children. Though the spawn are evil and criminal ....... THIS IS THEIR MOTHER'S FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!! She raised them and their character, or more accurately, their complete lack of character, is the direct result of her parenting.

Proximal cause is a philosophy I believe firmly in. Any problem can be traced to a proximal cause. The existence of your criminal Skids can be traced back to ....... their mother. Yes, I am sure there are any number of unfortunate experiences that have helped form them in to the complete wastes of skid that they are. They come form a broken home, they don't get love from their father, they wet the bed when they were young, xyz, lmnop ..........

None of it matters. These are not 8 year old these are teens on the cusp of adulthood and they need to learn immediately that they will be accountable for their actions. By not having them hauled off to jail when they steal or vandilize your home you are no better than their mother and are enabling their behavior.

This is a situation where if you are not a part of the solution you are a part of the problem. Sorry for the fortune cookie advice but I believe it is appropriate in this situation.

So, put your hand between your legs, give the sack a squeeze and man up. Get these scum out of your life and in jail where they belong. If their mother does anything but thank you for holding her children accountable for their criminal behavior ..... you know what to do. Boot her ass too!

Grrrrrr! I have zero tolerance for this kind of crap. More so now that usual. I am in the land of the toothless SpermClan and my ILs. None of whom have figured out that their situations are directly related to their stupid decisions. They spend countless hours talking about how screwed up their lives are but none of them will do anything about it.

1968500kr, quit participating in these people torturing you and live your life for yourself.

Wait a minute. I just read your profile. Your are a PAC NWer. So is the SpermIdiot, the SpermClan and my ILs. I think it is the water. Biggrin I have not met many people in the PAC NW since joining a PAC NW family that don't have a significant problem with connecting bad out comes with poor decisions.

For some reason the all make the same shitty decisions while waiting for a better outcome.

It makes no sense to me.

Boot the SKIDS and if their mom complains ..... boot her too!

IMHO of course.

Best regards,

Delilah's picture

Phone the police to get your chain back pronto. Like hell should you have to chalk the loss of your chain down to bad luck, just because your ss decided he needed a toke!

The fact your wife is resorting to blackmail and ultimatums in order to control what you do, while her children wildly run amok is shocking and extremely ironic ...she needs to be implementing these kind of tactics with her children (who need I remind you at 17 is nearly an adult)!

They break windows to get into your master bedroom and your wife says this is "normal teenage behaviour"?!! Where? In a maximum security nut house?!!! Sh*t, if those are the kind of rules that go in your house, perhaps rigging a few booby traps here and there for the little toerag is the way to go...greasing the floors in the bathroom ...mouse trap in the drawers...electric shock hooked up to the door handles...