OT-Worried about future SIL.
I know I have vented about my future in-laws on here plenty. Things have gotten so much better now that we are in our house. They seem to be respecting our wishes. My future MIL brought plants over to pant in our yard and garden to do yard work all weekend while future FIL helped SO tile our shower and I painted our bedroom.
I do not love the idea of a bunch of pants but she said they come back every year and are easy and I will admit the yard looks better than it did. When we were all down yesterday and we were outside have a drink she admitted to me that she is worried about her daughter future SIL. She is worried about her health and that the whites of her eyes sometimes look yellow.
I know my future SIL is not drinking as much when she is around us or when she takes SS8 with her to go do something fun. I am wondering if maybe she is drinking at home a lot. I know she eats pretty healthy but I also know she had or maybe still has an eating problem.
Anyway i know she is going through a lot and a ton has changed in her life this year. We invited her over last weekend for dinner, this past Sunday she asked if she could take SS8 with her for the day to a picnic and the pool at her friends house. I also told her anytime she wants us over dinner let us know we will go to her place it will probably have to be a weekend we are more than happy to. I did tell my SO.
I guess what I am asking here is should I stay out of it and just keep to myself or should I include her more or should I suggest to SO and her parents to maybe sit down with her and gt her some help? Just wondering is all.
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nope, stay out of it - and
nope, stay out of it - and don't breathe a word of it to anyone. It could be a test.
Thank you, I know my SO
Thank you, I know my SO talked to her before and we thought it was better. Now I am wondering if she is just hiding it better. I will try to keep her involved there really is not much going on this summer since he is in Day Care everyday. She is on the list as emergency and allowed to pick up and drop off. We will see I told my SO. I will leave it at that.
I would be concerned about
I would be concerned about her driving around with your SS in the car.
That I am not worried about.
That I am not worried about. She does not drink when she has SS8. She may have like one glass of wine. SO had a talk with her back in December because things were getting bad and she lost was not allowed to take SS8 for a while until he saw that she was not drinking so much around SS8. She drastically cut way back around us and and around SS8.
I am just wondering if when she gets off work she is downing a bottle of wine at night when she is alone. I feel bad for her because I know her whole world got turned upside down. I think she is struggling with SS8 not asking to spend time with her all the time and when he talks to her on the phone he rushed off. Also right now I am the First person he is running to and asking to do everything with. That is just because I am the first person in his life that he sees as a mom.
He is starting to ask SO things too now this past week. I feel for her I do I can not help what SS8 does and I am not going to push him away either. I do small things he made bracelets at daycare and gave me and my SO all of them. I suggested he give one to his Aunt when he sees her that weekend. He did and she thought it was great that he made something just for her.
I just don't know how you can
I just don't know how you can be sure if she's drinking or not, or how much, when she is with your SS. If she has a problem that is so bad that her eyes are yellow,I wouldn't be so sure.
Skid and In law issues belong
Skid and In law issues belong to your husband, be supportive but stay out of the muck.
If the whites of her eyes are
If the whites of her eyes are yellow and yellow tint to her skin she is jaundiced and needs to see a doctor to check her liver function. Liver failure due to achoholism is serious. And usually if a liver transplant is needed the patient has to show they are not drinking at all for a certain period of time before being eligible for transplant. Her parents or brother should encourage her to get help for her addiction to achohol and hopefully she can recover her health over time.
They need to talk to her about their concerns. Not gossip to you about her. If you saw a wreck about to happen would you warn people? It would then be up to them to act on the warning.
If I saw this in one of my
If I saw this in one of my family members, like my brother I sure as hell would say something. IDK I am going to just sit and maybe take a closer look next time I see her and if things do no look good I will might suggest SO to say something. Let's face it men sometimes do not notice anything.
Uh huh. You've diagnosed your
Uh huh. You've diagnosed your future SIL as an alcoholic. Didn't you at one point diagnose your MIL with dementia?
And, of course, you're wonderful & your BF is wonderful.
I lived with & took care of my grandma. She had dementia. She thought I didn't feed her. She thought I stole her clothes. She thought I smoked in the house. And she thought people lived in the basement.
Ya can't really go by what she says, now can ya?
Stay out of it. Not your problem.