What Would You Do? (Part 2)
Melanne's post made me realize that I have a CS question of my own. I will try to keep this succinct.
DS and I have been married for 7 years this May. He has 3 kids from a previous relationship...and we are down to one kid on CS for one more year. Yippee!
I've always felt like he was getting screwed on CS, especially given all the extras we do. If I ever brought this up, he just said: "Well, it's what the calculator said it should be...court just went by the book." But, when I went to the online calculator and put in a very generous estimate for DH's salary and a very conservative estimate for BM's salary, we were paying $200-300 more per month than what was calculated.
BM also got the house in the divorce settlement (and she did not get my DH's name removed from the paperwork within two years like she was supposed to in the CO and she let herself get foreclosed on...thus screwing up DH's credit even further). She also asked us to pay extra months for OSD and for SS when they'd aged out of CS in order to help her readjust to the "lower income" -- which we did for OSD but refused on SS because DH had wised up.
So here's my question - the other day I got a filing cabinet and was reorganizing / tossing a bunch of old paperwork that I've had in hanging files in milk crates. Yay me! Got all organized. In there, I ran across the court order and read it. I've seen it before and skimmed it, but I've never read it thoroughly.
Come to find out, we have been overpaying CS this entire time. The original order was for about $200 less...and the additional $200 was what DH was supposed to pay toward BM's student loans each month. Not sure of the logic on this - BM is a teacher and gets about 6K more a year bc she has a Master's, which is more than enough to cover the cost of the loans plus some. Maybe they lived on her loans while she was in school? But so what...? They also lived on DH's salary...should she have to pay him back for that?
At any rate, here's my question for real. Should I say/do anything about this? Part of me wants to because I sincerely doubt BM has kept up with her student loans and has likely put them on hold and/or gotten lowered repayment plans...and whatever else you can do to put off paying. I don't know this for sure, but I know her personality and her money management skills. This means that we paid an additional $200 a month for the first 5 years of our marriage while all 3 skids were on CS -- money that was supposed to go toward paying down loans but likely didn't since both DH and BM seem to have forgotten that this was the deal. I think she just used it all as "income" for her household.
But part of me wants to not say anything and just let sleeping dogs lie. As I mentioned, we're down to one more year of CS. The CO didn't specify any end date for this additional $$$ toward BM's student loans. What I REALLY don't want to see happen is for BM to suddenly "remember" that $200 was supposed to be for her loans the moment that SD ages out of CS...and we end up having to pay $200 a month for the next 20+ years after overpaying all this time.
So. What would you do? Bring it up or ignore?
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Comments
I would get all the proof of
I would get all the proof of what money DH paid over to BM... If Dh can proof he paid her the money, it's not his problem that she did not pay her student loans.
At time of divorce student loans was XXXX Dh was suppose to pay YYY which he did and you should have he proof, then he will not be liable, thus BM can go to court, changes are that judge might tell her she already received more then CO and needs to pay back.
For now, I would only gather information and proof and prepare for one day... anything might happen....
I read through SO's CO, I know exactly what's in there wan who has to pay what, I'm waiting for the day Aergia asks him for money as per CO....BM will encourage her... then I will simply take out all the evidence and guess what... BM will be in big big trouble...
Right...but if he's supposed
Right...but if he's supposed to pay until the loan is entirely paid off and she hasn't been paying the loans down with the extra money...then we could end up paying twice.
I think I'm just going to leave it and prepare documentation in case it comes up.
According to the CO, she was
According to the CO, she was supposed to put our $200 and $200 of hers toward the loan each month.
It seems that somewhere along
It seems that somewhere along the way, she should have to provide proof that she's been doing that. It's weird that the CO is kind of vague about it.
Yes, I agree. It's like
Yes, I agree.
It's like somehow, somewhere along the way this extra amount and CS just got rolled into one and all became CS obligation. DH and BM were separated for 5 years and divorced for 2 when we got married, so it happened before I had any chance to know. I also went into marriage with this...his CS obligations and money for kids is none of my business or concern attitude. Until it started to affect me personally, and then I wanted to see what was up...
Knowing how bad both BM and DH are with money, I have no doubt that they have both forgotten the original arrangement...which is why I'm tempted to say nothing and hope it never comes up.
I would find out what the
I would find out what the original payment plan was and calculate when it would have been paid off if she had been making pmts as agreed. Once that date ends... she shouldn't get that extra 200.
If one thin dime of yours was
If one thin dime of yours was used, then talk to your DH and, depending on how much of your money was used to pay any of his obligations, get it legally addressed.
If it never affected you, then drop it. People make poor decisions every day.
Ha! lol. Yeah...many thin
Ha! lol.
Yeah...many thin dimes of mine have been sent to BM or used on the skids over the years. Heaps of dimes...
Good advice. I may do
Good advice. I may do so...just don't want to regret it...
We've actually managed to keep a fairly amicable relationship with BM, despite how I feel about her money skills and extra requests. Don't really want that to change, especially when we're a year away from ending CS altogether.
I think we have clearly more than met our obligation, and I have documentation for everything, so I probably shouldn't worry. If I had known this was the CO, I would have insisted on paying BM her CO amount and paying the other directly to the creditor.