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BM and $

Cover1W's picture

I've mentioned before that BM, who has been reasonable overall, said to DH this past year that since we were married she shouldn't have to pay so much for SDs (clothes and other necessities) because now he has two incomes. In a nutshell.

Of course this doesn't mean she's asking for a reduction in what DH pays her for CS.

And DH told her no to her argument.

A new situation has come up. The SDs are on my insurance plan due to DH losing coverage and
Me being nice. I have a good, affordable plan, DH pays me back. Turns out that per the CO BM is responsible for the health coverage. Since DH pays for a lot extra (all transportation costs, electronics, phones...) he asked BM to pay for 50% of the SDs premium. Which totals roughly $70 per month for half. She refused.

DH told me BM wants to pay 1/3, DH 1/3 and ME 1/3. I lauuuughed. Told DH I have no obligation to do that. He knows. He asked if there's any way I'm obligated...nope, not my kids, not my legal responsibility and I'm not in the CO am I? I pay for things if I choose not out of requirement. He's formulating a response carefully....and will mention they will be dropped from my plan at the end of the plan year if this isn't resolved (I may drop them anyway but that's months from now).

Comments

CANYOUHELP's picture

If she is court ordered to to this and you are doing it instead, she may petition the court that YOU can affort it and she cannot, because you have been doing it. I would take her back for contempt and drop the kids immediately. I know that does not sound nice, but maintaining their insurance is not helping your case at all, with regards to BM, who is not the least bit thankful that you have a group rate.

The longer you keep the kids on your insurance, the less of case you will have for contempt.

Cover1W's picture

Yeah I agree with all of you. I've mentioned to DH that I will likely drop them when I am able at the end of the coverage year (cannot drop before then). BM had a good job (makes similar $ to me), less mortgage combined with a rental space in her home, gets $ from her brother and dad (who are well off) for vacations. She's not hurting in the least. She also has very good health insurance. She's just cheap.

DH isn't afraid she'll go to court and he wants to stay out of that too so I'm leaving any response up to him. He took my feedback about the CO and used that I think.

Cover1W's picture

Ha! I said something to that effect to DH. "Is she thinking I'm like a second mother to them and have the ability to make legal decisions just like her?" He chuckled at that one.

Interesting. BM has a public job so we can look at how much she made at the end of each year (how we know her income from work). I just realized I could look up the health insurance info. She has lots of options and very low deductibles. But the monthly cost is much more expensive than mine. I cannot imagine why she's balking at paying DH $70 per month when if she covered it she'd be out hundreds just for the SDs!

Cover1W's picture

And that's why they are coming off in June. I'm not going to be caught in middle again and DH understands.

Acratopotes's picture

if the CO states BM is responsible for coverage, I will drop them immediately...... and send her a copy of the CO, with that part high lighted....

You are doing too much Cover, it's time to stop.... BM should be responsible for her own children,

Cover1W's picture

Yeah, Acra - but the laws we are under makes dropping them now impossible.
I can either drop them in June, during my open enrollment period or BM or DH can take them during their open enrollment; and mine is first in that line up so they are on mine until June. DH knows I'm not happy about all this and we had a nice long talk last night.

He ended up sending her a very, very well written email stating clearly that I am not financially responsible AT ALL for the SDs and will she or will she not pay DH back for the SDs premium cost he proposed. (He also let me read her email to him where she stated that all THREE ADULTS are responsible for the SDs and if another joins her home they will be responsible too - LOLOLOLOLOL - no.)

She got back to him, "I did a little research and you are right, Cover is not responsible and yes, I will agree to the plan."

So this little situation is over and she understands I am no way responsible for the SDs or providing anything for them unless I want to. DH was a STAR.

hereiam's picture

She had to do a little research to verify that you are not financially responsible for HER children? She's a bright one.

Cover1W's picture

She's a CHEAP one.

Making assumptions in her mind so she doesn't have to pay.
Which is also why I stopped buying anything for the SDs last spring.

strugglingSM's picture

Since you're in Washington, I believe the state's CS support formula allows the party not responsible for coverage to subtract whatever amount they pay from their CS obligation. It also allows whoever is covering health insurance to subtract from their CS payment if they are paying more for health insurance than is specified in the CS calculation. I think the CS calculation determines the health insurance obligation based on income.