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update: Adult skids tries guilting daddy for a paid vacation

grace8205's picture

Skid asked his dad if he wanted to go for lunch today (AKA I would like free food because I am broke). I guess he was absolutely miserable about everything, work, roommates and life in general. Personally I wouldn’t haves stayed to have lunch with someone so miserable, I would left and said “I guess today’s not a good day to visit over lunch, you obviously are not in the mood for company.” I would have done that to my bio, but my kid never behaves like skid.

Then my husband tells me that skid mentioned that he felt like I was being “condescending” the other night at dinner. He told his dad that he thought it was condescending that I said “your are an adult and you can go on vacation anytime you want”.

At least daddy told him he did not think it was condescending at all and he is be overly sensitive and looking for things that aren’t there.

Obviously DH was clueless about skid pouting and not eating is dinner at the restaurant, but I knew skid was mad.

Skid is not use to anyone saying anything to him but I am not going to tip toe around him any longer and I am just going to say it like it is.

grace8205's picture

Thanks StepAside, trust me I did want to say more but I thought keeping it short, direct and maintaining some air of pleasantries was called for. He is so entitled it makes me shake my head.
Anytime we go away for a weekend or a vacation he never asks about our trip, it's always a guilt trip to his dad that he does get to go ( on our dime of course).

notasm3's picture

I actually kind of look forward to squashing SS30's aspirations to leach onto our vacation plans. Kind of like squashing a cockroach.

My parents never took us on a vacation (we were very poor). I never held any animosity about that. It was just a fact.

SS30's GF makes more money than DH and I get from social security - our only guaranteed income. They can pay for anything they want to do. Just because we have a vacation home and own a couple of time shares does not mean that they get to use them.

grace8205's picture

I almost want to tell skid when we are planning our next trip and ask him if he's interested and then when he says yes tell him I need him to transfer me x amount of dollars before I can book it. However knowing my luck he might have the money, doubtful by why risk it.

Rags's picture

We just got back from 10days with my IL clan. It was a nice trip and for the most part went well. This is the first IL clan wide vacation together in the 22yrs we have been married.

Then there was the 500lb gorilla in the room. The whole trip SIL (DW's youngest sib) was pestering everyone else for money. She and her kids left on Friday adn the rest of us left on Sunday. The relaxation phase of the trip started as SIL drove off on Friday AM. She left before dawn without saying a word to anyone. She had bugged everyone for money so much that on Wed and Thus everyone just told her no.

Her pouting and leaving before dawn without a goodbye was her way of getting back at everyone for being so mean.

Our answer to her far from direct requests for money was ... sorry. All we have is plastic.... or so I thought. She did ultimately get $40 out of my wife and about $60 out of BIL1's wife. My wife did not want her runnign out of gas on the way home.

The trip was a "camping" trip. We no longer have gear and since we flew in for the trip we stayed in a hotel as did MIL, FIL, and the Aunt. BIL1 and his family, BIL2 and his GF, and SIL and her family all camped in a statepark not far from where the rest of us stayed.

Though the week was fun and the weather beautiful the underlying tension of SIL and her begging was palpable for everyone. Once she left.... everyone loosened up. There was hours of conversation between the remaining adults about SIL and her constant scamming for money. She is in to Aunt for about $30K.

Is_What_It_Is's picture

They do think it is condescending when it is something they do not want to hear - they are always right, you know. I posted a question a few weeks back about taking adult skids on vacation and who pays for it. There was lots of good advice and comments there! In this crazy world of step-life, you sometimes lose the sense of what is true and what is expected. I think you were direct and truthful - he is an adult and can plan whatever vacation he wants to. On his own dollar of course. When does it end that the skids want to live (and vacation) on their parents dollar?

Men do not notice pouting as quickly as women do - glad your DH backed you up and told him it wasn't condescending.