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The Calm Before the Storm

smcpaw's picture

It has been pretty smooth sailing lately (shh, I'll jinx myself). We still have not had my boyfriend's daughter since the last explosion with biomom, my boyfriend, his daughter, and me throwing my 2 cents in. My boyfriend's daughter finally called her dad on Monday and left a message (not really sure why). He called her back while I ran out and he said she was really friendly, so I feel a little better that the lines between them are opening, although I don't think they have discussed any of the real issues yet (her unacceptable defiance and disrepect when in our home).

My daughter and boyfriend seem to be trying better to accept one another, and I think my daughter realizes that there is enough of me to go around. My boyfriend is trying to be more understanding of my daughter and her teenage years, although it is hard for him because he has never really lived with teenagers and I think he feels guilty that his daughter is never around (his daughter used to visit him very sporadically and the biomom would drop her off at 9:00-10:00 p.m. on nights she was "sleeping at her father's" during the school week. If you ask me, what is the point when it is that late at night - no time for quality visiting, but that's the biomom being selfish and in complete control. Even on weekends with dad, she would be dropped off late Saturday afternoon so as not to deprive the biomom of time with her daughter on her dad's weekend. Oh well, maybe someday, the biomom will let go a little and realize her daughter can be shared by all (she is 15 and treated like she is still 4 and that the biomom doesn't like to share and makes the daughter feel guilty that she is having more fun at our home).

I hope someday, the daughter will realize that she is old enough to stand up for what she wants - she claims that she wanted to spend more time with us at our house, but didn't want mom to be hurt (although at one time when she was mad at biomom, she wanted to move in with us - which I tried to talk her out of because that would only make matters worse and hurt her mother all the more. The daughter was just angry because she wasn't getting her way at biomom's and wanted us to believe that it was her mom that was crazy, which is not too far from the truth at times [maybe a better word is irrational or unreasonable]. I just need to be patient and hope for the best - all good things come to those who wait and are patient. Have a good day.

Comments

Dawn-Moderator's picture

First of all, I am glad that things are going well for you.

I have the same hope for my stepson in the standing up for what he wants department. When something has anything to do with his mother, he wants whatever it is she wants. He doesn't even think that he has any choices or personal opinions. I keep hoping with age that he will question some of his mother's crazy ideas. Of course, he may questions some things at home here as well but as kids get older they should have some opinions of their own.

Here's to keeping your fingers crossed and hoping for the best!!

Dawn

cornflower's picture

My step-kids are still too young to question anything their Mother says. I hope they will see one day that their Dad loves them very much, and we haven't been going to court all these times just to make things difficult for their Mother.

Sounds like you are making some positive steps in the right direction with both the relationship between your daughter and boyfriend, and him and his daughter.

That's great!

(I always get a little worried, too, too when things seem to be going really well. Usually this means that BioMom is cooking up something really bad!)