baby sitting an adult
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it just so happens that adult sd some years ago called me some really nasty names (curse words) when she was living with dh and me after high school. her own mother refuses to take her in. sd decided to move out and blackmailed dh with threatening not to speak with him. when i called mil to talk about it mil said not to call her anymore. mil turned her back on me when i needed her the most, and she side with her gdaughter against me.
now mil might be moving in with us. she is elderly and recovered from a major health issue but needs to be cared for. dh expect me to take care of her wich means helping her bathe and go to bathroom, food and meals and medication.
i am at wits end on this.
I'm sorry you're in this
I'm sorry you're in this situation. It sucks!!
If it makes you feel any better, your MIL is probably just as distraught at the idea of having to rely on you for all her personal care needs. MIL knows how she treated you and she is probably terrified you will treat her the same.
I can empathize because I took in my father who was a deadbeat and never took care of me. At the end of the day I decided it was the right thing to do, even though he didn't deserve it.
thank you forthe comment. i
thank you forthe comment. i dont think she really believes did anything wrong, to be honest. i later learned that she is very close to this sd and its no surprise she sided with her against me. a real adult would say that kind of behavior from a sd is out of line.
mil stabbed the goose that would give her golden eggs.
thank you both for the
thank you both for the replies.
dh volunteered me for the job, or kind of just expected me to do it. i work from home with a business. i cant and wont play nursemaid. this woman kicked me when i was down and then sided with her bratty gdaughter fully knowing what sd said and did.
i am not obligated to wipe his mothers backside. on the contrary, she can kiss mine.
Why does your DH expect you
Why does your DH expect you to do it? I don't understand that.
just as he expected me to
just as he expected me to tolerate all the abuse over the years from his children.
I see you answered my
I see you answered my question just as I was typing it, lol. I'm glad you're not inclined to wipe her butt. I'd be very upset at my DH if he pulled that "take care of my mother" crap.
good suggestion. if they are
good suggestion. if they are so close, then let sd take care of her. she is in college and working full time so i guess sd will have to make a choice.
An eye for an eye and pretty
An eye for an eye and pretty soon the whole world is blind. Ghandi
thank you, ponygirl. after
thank you, ponygirl. after all mil (and fil, who backed her up) had done to me over the years taking the side of sd, i dont feel inclined to play nurse to her, esp bathing her or wiping her backside. karma train indeed. and we all know what payback is.
ponygirl, you have every reason to be bitter.
thank you all again for the
thank you all again for the input. mil and fil told me never to call again after that. the cut me off in supporting their gdaughter.
and now they want me to be a caregiver?! i had to care for my own parents in their declining years, and its an act of love, caring and extending yourself to the near breaking point.
needless to say if there was love she would not have abandoned me in my time of wanting a kind word.
i truly dont think the dh really thinks the years with his kids was all that horrible, or what his parents did to me either, and that i am making a big deal of it.
what did you actually say to
what did you actually say to your dh?
nothing so far. he just
nothing so far. he just suggested that his mother might be moving in and assumed that i would take care of her. he said "we" can take care of us. i know me meant me.
maybe you should have a
maybe you should have a conversation with him before you wake up one morning and she's in your living room? please do not allow this to happen. you need to be true to yourself and speak up, and come to some sort of agreements that you can actually live with.
thanks again for the
thanks again for the comments. i have to keep reminding myself why i dont want to be this woman's baby sitter.
get this. fil now wants to
get this. fil now wants to call me and ask advice about care of mil. i used to work in healthcare and he thinks i will cheerfully just want to chat and offer helpful information. are these people for real?