A possible big change in H?
I really don't know what's going on...I'm actually quite puzzled. H has been a sweetheart to me all week long-I haven't been yelled at this weekend, chewed out, called names or told what to do. I don't know what's different, why I'm suddenly being treated like a wife, but I like it.
H called this afternoon-he had talked to SD17, and couldn't beleive what she said to him. She actually told her dad "I can't believe you guys (meaning h and I) would give me a car in this bad of condition! Ohhh Booy! Did she pick the wrong thing to say. In the first place, the car is my old car. I took exceptional care of it-my father was a Ford dealer, and we knew that maintenance on a vehicle is important...The car now has a back door that won't open-it opened when she got it. The car is now all scratched up-I had it painted 2 yers ago, and it was in prime condition when she got it. The brake line has a leak, and the tires are bald. Ummm, she's had the car for 9 months now---the tires were in good conditon when she got it.
Anyway, H was pissed. He told her off-told her how she can just start paying for EVERYTHING on the car, told her she is a SNOT NOSED BRAT! He even brought up how she talked to me about the money issue a few weeks ago when we took her out to eat. He told her that BEWITCHED IS MY WIFE AND YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HER EVER AGAIN. He also told her that her behaviour at Christmas was rude and unacceptable and SHE WILL NOT BE INVITED FOR CHRISTMAS NEXT YEAR if she continues to act the way she has been :jawdrop:
You guys, it feels sooooo gooooood!
- bewitched's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
WOW!
Good for him! Someone got a backbone....
Things may be looking up after all?? She is spoiled with that car, my SD9 asked me just yesterday about a car when she is 16. I told her H and I talked about it--we will do the same for all our kids. She asked what the plan was. I said NOTHING!! SD says thats ok my BM said she would give me her old car...I said well she will have to get the insurance on it too. H and I are not putting you on ours, nor any of our Bkids. SD9 says not even $20--I said NOPE!!
A 9 yr old asking for a car????
Oh Lord, what is this world coming to? I feel old and out of touch.
My SD's BM bribed her with a car at 11
This was the final straw that prompted us going for FC. The outright bribery of an 11 yo. BM told her if SD picked the high school in BMs district (interesting since BM moves every other year to a different one) BM would supply her with a car.
DH called BM on it, and BM said, "Well that's what my parents did for me so I would pick my high school." (the Catholic one her parents wanted her to attend.) The best part, BM continued on with, "And I turned out ALRIGHT."
DH said....
"That's a debate for another time. We have an appt to get to."
BM asked if we were going to a counselor for our unhappy marriage (which is why she decided our shrink appts for SD were- marriage counseling.)
DH simply said, "No, but counseling is a GREAT idea! When's your appt????"
And she hung up on him.
He wanted to tell her what our appt REALLY was for. It was our initial appt with our attorney to file for FC! But he didn't want to give her a heads up so she would be served without knowing. Wish I could have been a fly on the wall. We ended up going to mediation first instead, but that was the day we met Mr. Bulldog attorney and our journey to peace of mind began!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I know!
Believe it or not she has been asking about this gor the last couple of years! SD9 always wants to know what everyone has to offer her--then she decides who she will spend her time with.
I tricked her a bit about NYE. I told her that me and H were really boring at NYE and went to bed at 9 pm! So once she got to BM SD calls H to ask if she can come over for the day (NYD)! So my H and I got to take our BS2 to Chuck-e-Cheeses alone! And party a bit alone! LOL!!
Hurray!
I believe that eventually the SC show their true colors and our spouses would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to see it. Sounds like your SD showed her true colors one too many times and good old dad is finally on to her. BTW, your SD sounds like as big of an ingrate as mine.
Good for you!
Ya....feels good huh!!!
I still have a looming fear of backsliding... Iggg. What a pesimist...
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
I hope things continue to go well for you BW
Is this what you want though? I only ask because my exH was a master manipulator whenever he sensed I was about to leave him. He even tossed out how we never got to try for a baby girl, how I may never get to have one if I left. Oh- and offered after 11 years of telling me what a waste of my time it was, to AUDITION for a play with ME. I told him it was too late. His disinterest in my theatre community, caused it to become my sanctuary from our unhappy marriage and I was glad that he had never chosen to get involved, make friends there.
Just sayin'. Leaving comes in steps I think. And be careful of compromising too much after he shows some small gestures. My neice recently left and went back to her BF of about 5 years. Between them they each have daughters from prior relationships, and together they have an almost 3 yo autistic son. Neither have ever been married. My niece wants to be, he thinks all marriages end because his parents did. That doesn't concern me as I feel he is completely committed to her. What does is he is very controlling, and doesn't trust her. She isn't allowed to have a facebook or myspace acct of her own. She said this again at BD b-day party when her BF wasn't there. Her exact words were "he made me delete it."
And finally, she hates the run down slummy neighborhood/house they live in. It is a postwar TINY bungalow, maybe 1000 sq feet, probably less. The basement is full of water. There are holes in the floor and holes in the wood siding through to the house.
He is "fixing it up." He owns it outright and sees no point in selling/ or cutting their losses and buying something else. He's a mechanic, she's a waitress and they make enough money to move.
All her demands she gave up, caved in, and moved back because she does love him.
I see a young woman who doesn't know how to stand up for her own happiness.
I just don't want to see you let go of all the progress and dream pursuing you've been doing, because he throws some progress your way.
He still needs some help or like SW said he will backslide. He has been at least verbally abusive and highly neglectful in your relationship. I say you need a counselor. And if he really loves you, he will go with.
HUGS to you!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Oh PLEASE tell me you
Oh PLEASE tell me you laughed in his face at these "demands."
I think he needs to wake up and smell the crayons!
My reply? "How does it feel to want?" Let him know when pigs fly. As him how he plans to PAY for these things?
My SS6 wants one of each and my words are, "That's nice...do you have any money for it?" Then I kindly remind him how much he has here at the house AND at his BM's house...and there are some children who don't have ANY toys...or even a house to live in. I remind him to be thankful for what he has.
~*~Cheer up! It could be worse.
I cheered up, & it got worse!~*~
I think it's just a nice little reprieve-and sense a motive
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
I am not expecting this change in H to last-and fully expect to be his whipping post in a week or two. It's just nice to feel the pressure off for a short time. If it turns out to be more than that, I'll be happy and amazed.
I do think there's an ulterior motive in H's mind. When he was giving SD17 the ass chewing over her snoty retort regarding money, he also mentioned to her that when I get done with school, the income I earn won't be just mine-it will be ours.
And right now, H is miserable at work. The boss is not favoring him (it's his nephew), and is in fact favoring his (the boss') soon to be son in law. And H is steaming. And wants to be home (don't blame him there). But he also knows that his only way out of the oil fields is one of us going to school for higher earnings. And he knows he is not capable of studying and getting a higher education. So he's booking on this horse (me) to pull him out of his situation.
I know all this. But, whatever is going on, I am pursing the schooling (start next week for online prereqs.) For our future IF he's ready to treat me as a wife, or MY future IF he is not.
Ride the wave...
but stay alert. You're pretty smart, BW, to look deeper. I hope H really had a change of heart, but you never know. Take good care of yourself first and foremost.