surprise surprise. ...
So after this insane agreement where SD 15 and SS 12 demanded that dear dad visit alone we are at visit number 4.. A few days ago Mom stuck her nose in the visits and told dad how to to act with them, she said he and I should refrain from "arguing" in front of them. We have never had an argument in front of them but mom just felt the need to throw her weight around and tell DH how to behave.. DH made it very clear to his ex that she has no room or right to dictate how we conduct ourselves when dad is exercising his visit time and that because of her track record with men she should be the last one giving relationship advice. So again visit 4 and the kids have now come up with reasons why they can't visit today. One is sick and other is at friends house. And mom has said she will not make the kids visit. But the point here is she allowed the kids to spend the weekend with friends knowing it was visit day because she is mad at dad for telling her to keep her nose out of his time with his children.. I just sit and shake my head...
What does the court order
What does the court order say? Regardless of what mom says, Dad should go to pick them up. If mom refuses, call the police and have them write up a police report. Then take the report to court and file contempt charges against mom.
If dad isn't willing to do all of that, then he us the one to blame, not mom ir the kids.
Court order gives him today
Court order gives him today but he won't demand they come. And I think actually it's better he didnt. His daughter is 15 and a royal bitch. So she'd make for a miserable day for all of them..
Court order gives him today
Court order gives him today but he won't demand they come. And I think actually it's better he didnt. His daughter is 15 and a royal bitch. So she'd make for a miserable day for all of them..
I agree but he wont. He said
I agree but he wont. He said he won't make the kids visit if they don't want to. I won't give my input because all it does is cause a huge fight and I'm done fighting.. He is so passive where his kids are concerned that he let them walk all over him.. So I keep my mouth shut and he loses that's on him..
I knew it would happen the minute he stopped kissing the mothers ass. And I was right. The ex and kids demanded he agree to visits solely with him and if he couldn't bring them outside somewhere I had to leave my house during the visit. He was desperate to see them so he agreed.. So mom thought she had hum by the shorts. When she tried to dictate how he conducts himself he told her to stop.. Hence the kids now have excuses to not visit..
On the phone thru text etc..
On the phone thru text etc.. She was meaning that he should not communicate with me at all when he has the kids.
Im waiting for the day a that
Im waiting for the day a that BM and skids demand only visits without me around. In fact, I would enjoy it. Sad part is neither BM nor DH would suggest it because they need me to watch the spawn while they work. I would react the say way you did...say nothing. If DH doesn't want to enforce his visitation, then that's on him. Our BM withholds visits and allows skids to dictate when they come and when they don't depending on whether DH bows down to their demands. OSS has stopped coming all together, MSS is on his way to no longer coming and YSS only comes because he requires supervision and DH doesn't want to change her plans to watch him. That will all change the minute he is old enough to stay alone. He will stop coming over as well. I just hope DH is numb to the manipluation by then to say...whatever!
I'm so glad this turned out
I'm so glad this turned out better for us. When sd was 14 BM announced one weekend she would only be bringing over SS12. SD not "comfortable" at our house. (every step's favorite word)
Dh wandered into the bedroom where I was looking stunned and told me about it. I said, "is that ok with you?" He said, "No, no it isn't." So I encouraged him to call her back and assert his rights. It wasn't up to either of them, it was up to him. BM got all ugly saying at this age kid can choose and judge will back her. That made me so mad I looked it up and showed dh it isn't true. DH held firm. BM crumbled.
SD showed up and was more cheerful and peaceful than she had been in over a year, go figure.
Our BM is too lazy to really go to court or to even want the girl every weekend and SD may have been secretly happy that dad "fought for her." So our situation may be different than many others but that's how it turned out for us. I'm so glad because if he had let go that one weekend I believe she would be a dropout right now and probably worse and my husband's grief unending. This way she still comes every weekend and he still has influence and they still have a relationship.