Sneaky BM- Not so sneaky
So DH spent some time in the last week to address the issue that "the courts decided to send SD to regular school without including him in the discussion" Of course we knew we would find out more and I am sure even more will unfold over the next week or so. So, he responded to the email chain that was all interested parties including BM. He kept it to the point, stressing the need for this school for his daughter, stating there has been parental alienation on the part of BM so he is not made aware and as SD's father he expects that he will be included in each discussion moving forward. Nothing that would make him seem irrational or acting on emotion.
Fast forward two days, he gets a series of text from SD to the line of "Please don't contact the therapy school, it won't help. I have been dealing with my emotions and anxiety all summer while you were off vacationing (INSERT EYE ROLL SHE REFUSED TO BE IN OUR HOME, and WAYYYYY before that she said she was not interested in going on any of our planned trips, mostly camping because that is what we can afford right now) and that now that the courts are involved he cares but he couldn't be bothered any other time to just ask how she is (ANOTHER EYE ROLL, he messages her often, calls her often but she doesn't respond) then she makes a comment on the alienation and that she just doesn't want to see him, talk to him, or be in his life" It was longer than what I can remember but this was the general idea of what she said.
I know my DH, all of this is unwarranted and there is no ground to stand on. He told her back in May as long as she can obey the rules of the home, do what she is supposed to do etc she is always welcome in our home. But as any unruly teenager would do, she took the path of least resistance to stay with her mom. He has been involved in every single thing up until the mystery court date which he was purposely left out of. There was an email that was added to by the Special Ed Coord at the school that showed BM had SD's new therapist (maybe seen her 6-8 times) write a letter saying she would be good to go at the standard high school, which the 10 page psych evaluation she just had stated the complete opposite and was performed by a doctor not just a licensed social worker. It appears the decision hasn't been made yet per the emails that they would take the therapist letter into consideration but they now also have the fathers thoughts they need to consider. So this court date was NOT set by the town but by BM which we thought may have been the case.
Then my MIL left him know the other day that BM said she had to travel for business and if she could bring SD to an appointment, this means BM is leaving her home overnight (which we thought might be happening but we will never get an answer unless we hire a private detective. But my MIL went to go pick her up and she refused to leave the house for over an hour before MIL gave up and went home. So I would LOVE to know how this therapist who sees that SD is refusing to go to school, appointments and puts all of her family through shit has IMPROVED. I think BM has finally found a therapist she can manipulate after firing 5-6 others.
Today I worry about DH, it's SD's 14th birthday and he is taking it very hard that this is the first time ever that he doesn’t get to celebrate her b-day with her. My MIL already stated after the crap that SD pulled on Christmas (She more or less told her grandmother not to bother getting her gifts anymore unless she asks what she wants because she didn’t like what she got her) that she wouldn't be doing anything for her b-day, she would send her a text. This kid won't be happy until she destroys everyone around her, she is 100% her mother. Honestly both of them can go to hell for all I care but my heart breaks for DH. He is not perfect, but he is a good man, he has a big heart and he just wants his daughter to be a good person. DH won't bow out like they would want him to, I think BM is trying to push him hard so they can both blame him for all of SD's problems and try to prove he is some monster they want him to be. Must be so exhausting to play the victim all the time.