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The court system in this country is an effing nightmare!!

PolyMom's picture

OMFG!!! We have been stressing over court for FOUR years. We were supposed to go today. We opened a case to get full custody from BM because she's crazy, and taking everything out on the kids. SS12 just had a broken arm, she's been referred to CPS, has both boys scared $hitless to talk to counselors.....kids' therapist thinks they should live with us...the list goes on and on. Basically, we just need to get in the court room, play the mounds of video/audio/emails/txts we have proving alienation, neglect and abuse and this will be done. We opened this case 2 years ago, and stupidly settled with her, with the stipulation that we could use all evidence should she mess up again. Judge also ordered kids to keep seeing therapist. BM HATES the therapist, cancels appointments and crap....so DH ignores her, and keeps the boys going. So she gets an extra hunk of change in her tax return and files for full custody against HIM for continuing the kids therapy. We had a trial set for August....postponed...lawyer's meeting September...new trial date set for today and her lawyer has a little sniffle, so postponed again.

Meanwhile, DH and I go to SS12's school conference. All his teachers agree he acts like he's having depression, and should see a therapist. "he has had a therapist since 2012," I say. The assistant principal chimes in "Can we just clarify, because two days ago we were told he does NOT currently have a therapist." Then the principal starts talking about SS12 running up and down the halls screaming, and saying really disturbing inappropriate things...which is to be expected when a child has Asperger's. "Uh....Asperger's? He wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's." "He wasn't diagnosed and given a 504 plan for asperger's? That's what we were told." She put him on a 504 plan at his old school, when she told all the teachers that DH was threatening her, and abusive, and none of them would talk to him. When he transferred to our district...court ordered, #26 best in the country according to Newsweek magazine....they took him off the 504 plan stating his behaviors are learned, and he only does them when he thinks someone is watching. IOW....she effing trained him to act like he has special needs! He also hates school, despite his incredibly high IQ, because he wants her to homeschool him, another brilliant idea she put in his head, so he has no respect for his teachers, never turns work in, and doesn't give a shit if he fails classes.

At least DH and I got the entire conference audio recorded, so we'll have to use that one against her....whenever we get around to getting in the effing court room.

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

I mean what are they going to do, wait until he's 16 years old and tries to drop out of school when this is all too late???

thinkthrice's picture

My state representative told me he (or anyone else) can't do a THING about the "family" court system or the unfair CS system because of the strong NOW lobby that heavily favours the first wife/BM. Every woman after the first wife/BM can go hang apparently.

Should be:

National
Organization of
First
Uteri

kathc's picture

They are the reason I cringe any time someone says the word "feminist".

One of my former friends went on a big "feminist" rant once and told me that I SHOULD be a feminist, that I was too smart to not join them! I told her I can't join because I'm not a bitter c**t. Yeah, no more cards being exchanged with that one.

momandmore's picture

Have your attorney subpoena the counselor.

It does seem to work like this in MOST situations but not all.

PolyMom's picture

We actually are pretty confident this judge will not rule in her favor, it's the same judge they've been seeing through their entire divorce, and that will never change. He is NOT going to be happy with the amount of evidence. He read a letter from the kids' therapist basically saying mom admitted she was guilty of alienating the kids, and he looked right at her and said "This isn't evidence yet, but if this is submitted, and these statements are true, this court will act swiftly and harshly." He was super pissed. Court just keeps getting delayed because of the lawyers. The judge wants to hear the case.

intrinsicmemory's picture

After helping DH with a CS Modification, I had the judge who signed the original order APOLOGIZE to DH for putting his name on something a lawyer prepared incorrectly and making DH's life hard. The Judge even ordered the modification of back child support from the date the previous order was entered. He admitted he didn't even read the first order... Sad. Sad

Courts aren't all bad, and frankly, lawyers drag things out. BMs attorney nickel and dimed away my DH's ability to keep his attorney, 5 minute phone call here, 15 minutes there... Calls for no reason, pretty sure they talked about the color of their Ferarris and mentioned a client name so they could bill the time.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Teachers and school staff are not medical professionals. It really pisses me off when they diagnosis kids or say things to parents about Asperger's, Depression, Autism, ADD, etc. We went thru this with my oldest SS. His 5th Grade teacher said he has Tourette's, ADD, ADHD, etc. Mind you my husband is a medical professional (surgeon). We took him to the Ped Psych, Ped, etc. and the he never had any sort of diagnosis. The bottom line was that the teacher was the problem. Lesson learned.

PolyMom's picture

I get what you are saying. But I don't think this is the case here. They were really recommending he get a therapist because they are seeing signs of depression that they've seen in other kids....and were surprised to learn he's been in therapy since 2012....the problem is BM lied to them and told them he isn't currently in therapy. She had her conference 2 days before ours. I expect she is the one is planted "Therapy" and "depression" in their heads, and they were trying to relay a message, without making it seem so, so they stay out of it.

We're actually going to get somewhere now because of the school's involvement....because the guidance counselor is working with the therapist to get all of his bases covered for home and school...recommending strategies for both. The nice part is the guidance counselor is on good terms with BM, so she might actually listen to him.