When your on the outside looking in, you see things differently. You see things that are blinded to those inside. This can be quite frustrating, especially when you point out the obvious, and it's taken the wrong way. Your looked at as mean, spiteful, or jealous. I'm sure a lot of us steps have felt this way, or experienced this. I get so annoyed with how my DH is treated by his kids and their mother. Basically he's not good enough for nothing, but his money. They flat out use him! For so long I tried to point this out, but he couldn't see it, because he was blinded by the love he had for them, and I was the jealous gf! He was always denied time with them, so he took what he could get, and did what was asked to show he cared. But as the years went by, DH started realizing everything I had said to him to be true. He realized he was worth more than just being a provider! I hate seeing the people I love being hurt or used. I'm sharing this just because I want to give those in similar situations some hope! I've learned to say what I have to say, and to say it only once, and move on! Otherwise you might drive yourself insane! They will listen, and they will remember, but it takes time and experience to learn!