Getting nervous for the visit!
It's been almost a year since seeing my ss17! He's had excuse after excuse of why he can't come, but he's coming this weekend and I believe it's for one reason only-to get his Christmas presents (money)! I'm very bothered by this! I think it's BS and he shouldn't even get anything! He don't call or visit ever, we only hear from him when he needs $$$! His brother, my ss16 comes here as much as BM will allow him, and sneaks calls to us all the time! (BM does not let them call dad, and only let's ss16 come 1 night a month, and she lets him because ss16 is the black sheep in BM household!) I just don't like or trust my ss17! He's just like his mother, and she's a spawn of satan! I've had butterflies since finding out he's coming! I'm not in the mood for his smart a$$ comments or his rude attitude! He treats his brother (ss16) like crap, and I can't stand it, and I feel sorry for him if he comes and acts like that tomorrow! I'm PMS'ing and that ain't gonna fly this time! I've kept my mouth shut for 13 years, he's about to be 18 in 5 months, my mouth is coming open this weekend! I will not allow him to treat his brother like crap in my home, I will not allow him to be a smart a$$ to his Dad and I! I'm done with this kid! And what's even more annoying is DH let's him get away with it, why, idk? And that errks me too! But not this time, I'm done keeping quiet!
Good luck! Thankfully I dont
Good luck!
Thankfully I dont have to see the skids very often, but when I do I get nervous and the whole situation makes me uncomfortable as well.
I feel your pain. Good luck!
I feel your pain. Good luck!
Shut up. Your rant won't
Shut up. Your rant won't change anything and can only cause problems with your husband who is well aware of why his kid is visiting and how the kid treats others.
Absent yourself for the day. Visit Mom, a girlfriend or go see 4 movies at the multiplex in the mall. This kid just isn't worth the effort plus he's just that, a kid, its entirely possible that 5 years from now he'll be completely different. Seriously - your best bet here, in your best interest, is to just leave it alone.
Literally physically absent yourself from the house for the length of his visit.
That would be nice! I'd love
That would be nice! I'd love to leave for the day, except DH would not approve of that, he thinks it would be "rude" since he never comes! I have tried this in the past! So if I'm forced to witness his disgusting behavior, I'm not keeping quiet anymore! He's about to be an adult and wants to act like hes grown and better then me and his BF! I have 2 younger kids that witness this behavior and I'll be damned if they try to mimic it! If it causes problems with my DH, oh well, it will only last a minute!
I think the statute of
I think the statute of limitations on late Christmas gifts expires on Jan 25th unless you have a Drs note that you were in a coma for the last month or evidential proof verified by a Govt Agency you were held hostage by a terrorist organisation. But hey, that is just me.
Your story is very similar to
Your story is very similar to mine with SS15. He hasn't visited in about a year. We have heard that he "hates" DH from SD19 and that he considers his SD to be his real dad (It certainly wouldn't surprise me since DH's ex had an affair with her current husband very shortly after SS was born). We started noticing a year ago that SS only texts or calls near his birthday and Christmas and now his texts are downright rude. He's extremely passive aggressive and I personally can't stand him. It really bothered me when DH sent him a gift card for Christmas, I felt no gift should be sent but instead held here at home until he visited. Every time SS is supposed to visit he backs out at the last minute (thankfully) but this last time he said he was coming to visit I had DH put a locking knob on my closet door and I put everything that i wanted to be kept private in that closet and had plans to be out of the house the entire weekend. DH wasn't thrilled but he also knows how I feel about SS15 so he understood.
Make plans for yourself while SS is there, even if it's not the entire time, be too busy and let SS and DH spend time together alone. And drink wine, lots of wine. Good luck
I`m going through the same
I`m going through the same thing. My SDs 13 and 10 only visit when it is their birthdays and now Christmas. They are on welfare, food stamps, section 8 housing, but are asking for things like Ipads and Iphones. They invite themselves over when it is convenient for them. They barely say anything while here, and for the last 2 years they have came over, they have gotten on the computer every time. They are coming this weekend and I am already trying to think of ways I can keep myself busy so I don`t have to be around them. I think they think they are better than me and are jealous of my bio kids 3 and 2. They expect their dad to give them money and/ or take them to the store every time they "visit." They don`t really visit, they take up space, time, and eat us out of house and home. I will be informing them that they are going to be taking a break from the computer for awhile, as that`s the main thing they do at their house. They make us drop everything for when they arrive, plop down, and expect us to do for them. My MIL is a driving force trying to get them to move in with us. She acts like she lives here and gets to make those kinds of decisions. She gets to decide when they move in. She doesn`t care that we have just moved into our first home 4 months ago. She wants them here so she can stop by anytime and overly involve herself in everyones lives. I strongly feel that if things are this bad now, them moving in would make things worse. I fear I would end up leaving.
The time has arrived! Soon as
The time has arrived! Soon as they walk in the door I hear my DH talking about money! He walks up to me and hands me a note. Surprise it's from BM telling dad she needs $275 for stuff CS don't cover! Lmao Hey since DH don't have a say how she spends her monthly $700 CS payment, who is she to say what's covered! This is something she asked for in November, she was told we don't have the extra $, so she brought him to court for a lump sum, but the judge denied her! Now here we are again! But besides that, my ss17 says hi to me with his innocent smile, but I wasn't as nice as I normally am, my response was "oh, you actually came?" Wow! I got him! The expression on his face changed instantly. He wasnt expecting it from me cause I've always been nice, but I'm upset! It hurts that he makes no time for us (me, DH, and our bs and bd). I even think he was headed toward me to give me a hug, but then stopped when I said that! I kinda feel bad, but I just keep telling myself, STOP! He needs to know how we feel!
Sadly it is ALWAYS about the
Sadly it is ALWAYS about the money, I bet that is why he is visiting. I hope your DH ignores the note for money and just enjoys his visit with his son. YOU did great, it is time for him to know how you feel, it can't be all sunshine and rainbows when the kid couldn't be bothered to visit for a year.
Well to his defense he didnt
Well to his defense he didnt know about the note! BM gave it to the other ss16 and said to give it to DH when ss17 wasn't around! DH showed him the note, he didnt look happy, said he already got what she's asking the money for, and just shook his head! THEN, DH just went to the mailbox and what do you know, we have a letter from foc of her objecting to the last court date when the judge denied her the lump sum. Her reason for the objection "he owes it to me"! I just wanna rip her face off!! Ya know I could MAYBE undearstand if she was single, but the bitch has a husband and 2 other kids! She gets $700/month in CS! I seriously think she's on drugs!
The 24 hour visit is over and
The 24 hour visit is over and now we are broke, LITERALLY! It's times like these I question if I'm financially secure with this man! We had over $200 to last us the week, now it's $40! DH gave ss17 $100 for Xmas! Are you kidding me? The kid came here 24 hours and slept till 8pm when DH took him to his family so he could collect xmas gifts from them too! It's like they are blind! It so aggravating, especially since his family never Comes or calls to see our kids! But when the steps are here, they come out like roaches! And i think he gave ss16 $$ for his birthday that's in 3 weeks too! A day after he has to fight BM in court for a lump sum! I feel if I was on my own, things would not be this hard financially! I don't know how much more I can take! Been here 13 years, only have 2 years left before were done with CS, but it seems she's gonna put him through hell these last 2 years!