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Notacelebration's picture

Submitted by Notacelebration on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 8:34am

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Teenage Stepchildren

I haven't been on here in a very long time. I used to be on here daily. I used to have a very disrespectful, unparented SD...at that time she was 14-17.
My DH was a total wimp when it came to parenting this girl. As he used to say, "Parenting isn't my thing."
She became more confrontational, and DH would do nothing about it.
DH began coming home later and later from "school." Yes, he was taking classes...however, I also discovered he was having an affair. He didn't want to be at home and deal with his free range child, so while he was messing around, I was stuck with the brat.
After discovering he had a stash of viagra in his work bag, I decided to keep count of them...sure enough, one missing after a late night. That was the end.
It was a Tuesday evening, three days after my birthday. I called my sons, and told them what was happening, they were shocked, as was I. They told me to start packing, and they pulled up with a U Haul that Saturday morning.
At the time, it hurt like hell. I couldn't believe he would do that.
Now, I'm happier than I've been in a long, long time! Being away from that poor excuse of a man, and his horrible daughter, has made all the difference in the world. I feel fantastic! Everything is headed in the right direction! No more dealing with her destructive temper tantrums, or her BO smell because she was too lazy to shower. No more walking on sticky floors from her spills she never cleaned up. No more watching DH be such a idiotic wimp.
I will NEVER get involved with a man who has children at home again!
I'm single, and enjoying every minute of it. Even my overall health has improved!
Ladies, beware...most of the time, you will lose out to the child. This girl was spoiled from day one, and still is. I hope her and her daddy live happily ever after.
If you're having doubts...listen to your gut.
Good luck to all of you...

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 8:50am

Sage words of advice!!! I would go one step further: Never ever get involved with a man who has had children. period. So glad you are free from the endless drama!

Snowflake's picture

Submitted by Snowflake on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 10:09am

It would give me some satisfaction to know that his affair partner will now have to deal with stinky stepdaughter. She certainly won the grand prize!

uofarkchick's picture

Submitted by uofarkchick on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 11:33am

Everybody Conga!
Cheers to you, girl!

I'm sorry it took so much heartbreak to get to this point. But you're on the other side and from what I'm reading, freedom does indeed smell oh so sweet.

Notacelebration's picture

Submitted by Notacelebration on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 11:53am

Thank you! I can't begin to explain how wonderful it is not to see him or her anymore!
We haven't even spoken in the past year!
I'm free from that hell I was in!

AlreadyGone's picture

Submitted by AlreadyGone on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 11:55am

I am so sorry that you were hurt by this idiot, but I'm so happy to hear that you are doing well, and that you're thriving. It's great to see another strong woman make it out of StepHell! Smile Wink

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 07/19/2016 - 5:42am

Congratulations on your new life adventure and for having the courage to write off that idiot and his shallow and polluted gene pool.

That your sons had your back is a testament to your character as a parent. You should be proud of them. They are obviously proud of you.

Your advice and experience are powerful. I would hope that more people in blended family marriages would have more courage and confidence to excert authority in their own lives.

Good luck and have fun!!!!

Notacelebration's picture

Submitted by Notacelebration on Tue, 07/19/2016 - 10:50am

Thanks Rags!
I am proud of my sons, they mean the world to me. They're always there for me, and have helped me through this whole thing.
I'm starting a better paying job in September, and that will get me ahead. It's all falling into place. Smile
Life is so much better now!
The idiot sent me a text message four months after I walked out. The week before Christmas he sent a text asking me if I had any ideas for a Christmas gift for his mother! Like nothing had happened! He still had his girlfriend, as she showed up on my FB because his family was still on my friends list. (BTW, EWWWWWWWW)
I ignored his message completely. Haven't spoken to him since I left....a year next month. Only time I've seen him was in the court room. When I was asked the reason I filed for divorce, I smiled sweetly at the judge, and said, "My husband has been, and is, having an affair." The judge smiled back... Smile
That was it...end of my living hell.
I'm anxious to see what the future brings!

On eggshells's picture

Submitted by On eggshells on Wed, 07/20/2016 - 1:09pm

Wow, that's terrific. I'm so glad that you've found peace.

I have posted on here recently and I have skid issues AND SO asshole issues... and I think you're right. I will always lose to his children. Thank you for your wise words. I'm waiting for the "other shoe to drop" and for that to be so obvious and in my face and blatant that I cannot take it any longer. All 3 of his girls will be here starting Fri night and this may be the tipping point.

The home belongs to me, though... So I can't leave, I'd have to kick them out. :O

Notacelebration's picture

Submitted by Notacelebration on Thu, 07/21/2016 - 8:29pm

Kick them out, and start your peaceful life!
It's so worth it...
I'm here if you need to talk.
Good luck to you...be strong!

surfchica's picture

Submitted by surfchica on Thu, 07/21/2016 - 8:58pm

Congrats to you! Wish I was where you are! Looking down the road of divorce. It's hard and terribly sad. I am afraid of the pain quite frankly but I know that in order to save myself I need to let us go. And my spouse is an ASS but I was so madly in love at one time and never expected the treatment that I have received for the last 3 years of our married life.

Notacelebration's picture

Submitted by Notacelebration on Fri, 07/22/2016 - 12:09pm

I understand completely...
I never thought the guy I married would be such an ass, and let his no good daughter run his life. I got to the point where he nauseated me. He never acted like a man...all I saw was a wimp.
It hurt in the beginning, when I left, but not for long. Each day I realized one more thing I wasn't having to deal with. I'm so happy now! I think you just get used to being miserable, to the point that you believe it's normal. I wouldn't go back if you paid me!
He, and his daughter, are the most disgusting people I know. He put on a great pre-marriage show, but after the ring was on my finger, he let his mini wife control the show. You could actually see the fear in his face, when the brat would get mad at him. He would sit and have the deer in the headlights look, while she was upstairs destroying her room during her tantrum.
Just thinking of his wimpy face makes me want to vomit...
You can do this! You will be MUCH happier than you are now! Don't tolerate it anymore...start a new life. It's soooooo worth it.
Good luck, and keep me posted.