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The Hits Just Keep On Coming

just tired's picture

Srsly. I am so pissed right now that I am shaking! Obviously, I am not THAT disengaged or this wouldn't be pissing me off to the extent that it is.

DH's 84-yo mother lives with us in an in-law suite in the basement of our home. Her apartment is literally a fully-equipped apartment, complete with its own kitchen, bath, entrance, everything.

DH has explained to his mother that SD14 is currently banned from our home due to her chaotic, disrespectful behavior.

But guess what happened yesterday????? DH's mother was just missing her granddaughter SO much that she snuck around behind our backs and had SD over to spend the night. That's right. Snuck her into our home to spend the night with her.

I really am just speechless. The manipulation, dishonesty, and outright disrespect that all these bitches show my DH....I just don't even have words at the moment.

twopines's picture

I can understand why you're furious. His own mother stabbing him in the the back while in his home. Wow that's seriously messed up.

2nd Time Around's picture

Ok... so... here's a thought...

If Grandma had her own place...
Would it have been ok for her to see her grand daughter...

Just playing devil's advocate on this one...

HOWEVER... I agree...

The Village needs to tighten up the rheins a little...
She should have checked with Papa bear first...
Seeing that HER roof is supplied by him now...

just tired's picture

WE pay for the mortgage, the utilities, etc. She buys her own food, car insurance, pays her own bills, etc.

I'd already thought about the fact that if she lived on her own, we wouldn't know or care who she had into her home. HOWEVER. It's OUR home that WE pay for, and if for no other reason that it's her son, she should have respected his wishes.

Furious.

2nd Time Around's picture

Like I said... I understand...
She definately should have talked it over with him...
He may have said... she can come by, Not stay over...

The point is... the child is just RUNNING from place to place...

Not facing the reality of LIFE...
And THE whole family has to RESPECT the PARENTS wishes...

My question: How much time did she actualy spend with GM... or was she there just to sleep after she hung with LOCAL friends?

just tired's picture

SD actually left to go to dinner with friends, then came back to spend the night. It feels like she's just thumbing her nose at her dad, as if to say "Hey....I can come to your house anytime I want by using Granny to get in...and there's nothing you can do about it."

I've heard from DH that he had a looong phone chat with SD and how she was "bawling her eyes out" b/c she just wants it to work with all of us, but doesn't see how that's possible". Really SD? Stop buying into your BM's bullshit, and you might actually have a chance at making things work with us.

He's all emo about the situation and I can tell he will start backsliding....or at least that's how it feels to me right now.

I'm not buying into any of this. I don't think SD wants things to work, she merely wants to control her daddddyyyyy and get her way. She wants him to choose her over me. She's made that clear over & over.

Honestly, I'm wondering if I can hang in this situation. Right this minute, this very day, I've got my doubts.

2nd Time Around's picture

That's what I thought... out to dinner with friends... is what she wanted...
not hang with Granny... and GRANNY got used...

Dad needs to outline for Gram and daughter...
She can come over but not to stay over...

So if she really wants to see you... have a visit.. but NO sleep overs...
AND.. she can't visit with friends, she can only visit with GRAM...

At least until the Behavior is UNDER control...

Then see how much she wants to just hang with Gram...

I am guessing not much...