Greasy hair and photos - vent
Ss16 is out for his visit this summer. Only a month because he had summer school due to 4- Fs, 1 D and an A in pe. Luckily my in laws live up the road and have more space so as is staying there. I am mostly disengaged, but care deeply about him. I get very frustrated by what I see him becoming and that no one seems to be able to reach him. No one holds him accountable, and he has learned to do what he wants. The only time it was different was the year he lived with us and we held him accountable.... But then he went back to bm and its back to how it was only worse.
Anyway, SS arrived with super greasy hair. FIL warned him that if he didn't take care of it he would shave it off. Dh and I had a rule that hair can only be longer if it's kept clean. Well, neither FIL nor DH have done anything for the last 3 weeks about this. Every time I see SS his hair is just gross. When he rides in the car and sleeps with his head on the window it makes a horrible grease spot. Boggles my mind that my 7/11 year olds have better hygiene than him! (More so that DH will follow through with them but is total Disney with SS)
So my brother wants to do family pictures tonight with everyone including SS before he leaves this Friday. Fine. Not my cup of tea, but ok. I ask DH to take SS to get his hair trimmed and washed today after they play laser tag. Apparently SS threw a fit about getting it cut so DH isn't pushing the issue. He told SS that he will need to shower and wash his hair at home. Which means that SS will follow the same routine he has since age 10.... Stand under the water for a long time and never touch soap or shampoo. And I doubt DH will follow through after. Which means SS will still look like shit for pictures and we will be wasting a ton of $ for him to look like crap.
And leaving him out will be out of the question because my in laws will be there too! Ugh!!! (I'm guessing the photos will be a close second to age 9 when he had a pimple so engorged between his eyes he looked like he was sprouting a horn between his eyebrows! BM thought it was a cyst.... DH had to express it to get the nastiness out.... Those pictures were a waste)
I don't know how frequently
I don't know how frequently he has showered since he's been here... Or if he is relying on the swimming pools to do the cleaning for him! :jawdrop:
(No subject)
:jawdrop:
LOL Kind of funny that I'm
LOL
Kind of funny that I'm reading this while putting coconut oil and Jamaican black castor oil in my hair.
Oh sweet grilled cheezus,
Oh sweet grilled cheezus, it's nice to know there are others out there! SS13 has been here two and a half weeks, has showered three times, and we've had to tell him to do so all three times. I can't understand it at all.
I'd have to sell my car!
I'd have to sell my car!
ah, yes. Lots of this. SD11
ah, yes.
Lots of this.
SD11 has taken a grant total of 2 (I think she may have showered on Saturday while I was out running errands) showers in our house since May.
SD9 has taken 2 as well since May.
We have them 50% time.
No, DP doesn't remind them.
I put my foot down the other day to get SD9 into the shower before her friend's birthday party. When done, she asked, "Daaaadddyyyy? Where do I put my towel?" Seriously. DP hesitated to answer (because he is bad with towels on floor) and I said, "Oh your TOWEL BAR SD9, good god (last part under my breath)!"
And yes, swimming pool is the excuse to not shower or wash.
at least he got the A in P.E.
at least he got the A in P.E. Only my dumbass SD could manage to pull a D in the easiest class in school!!!!
Why oh why don't skids like
Why oh why don't skids like to be clean???
SS17 and SD18 both have hygiene issues! SS can go a month if not bullied into the shower. SD goes a few weeks randomly, then takes 2 hour showers daily for a week (timed it) but totally fails on generally maintaining a steady cleanliness. Generally starts an excessive shower kick when BD comments on a 'smell in the car, hope its not me!'.
If shaming or pointing it out, or heck pointing out the broken promise to clean it if long doesn't work, and BD already gave in on the hair cut without a promise of washing, I think I'd just pour a big blob of shampoo into his hair from behind him when he's sitting, maybe rubbing it in, before he takes this 'promised shower' and smile, saying "now is the time! I've even got you started!" and smile nicely. Then double wash you own hands clean lol
That, and maybe remember photos will become memories of how things were long into the future; hopefully if grease happens, it will eventually be a laugh because a memory, as it (hopefully) eventually improves?