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Toxic Troll Trolling me Toxically on Facebook

CLove's picture

This will be short.

My good friend (Ill call her Rabbit) has created a public facebook group and its centered mostly around music and events, but with the lockdown being what it is she mainly now posts about people's daily lives, to create a sense of community and togetherness. So for example Ill post a photo of my family together or a meal, and she will share it to this Group.

I go walking each sunday with Rabbit, socially distanced and with masks, we dont hug. She knows ALL about Toxic Troll and her name and the mental things she tries to do to mess up our lives, her abuses, her scary treatment of DH. All of it. Rabbit and I were talking about the fact that Toxic Troll is a member of her group. She comments "well what bad can she make of what I share of yours, its all super positive, its all about your awesome life????". Rabbit is a very inclusive person, and has a hard time imagining the bad in people.

Which is what she saw yesterday. Toxic Troll made some comments that were negative on some photos that Rabbit shared in the group. Rabbit called me and told me the comments were deleted and Toxic Troll is now blocked (all 6 profiles) from the group.

The comments are actually funny:

"your boobs look so much bigger, they look really nice in that tshirt"

"where is your wedding ring? (DH) wears his all the time and I always wore mine!"

"Where is your mask? You are endangering my child!" (I took it off as they took photos - 10 feet away)

She commented directly to me, not knowing I have her blocked. 

A good lesson about public groups...





tog redux's picture

Toxic Troll is soooo jealous of you. I would find that hilarious (but I would block her too).

CLove's picture

I was surprised. When I saw the comments about masks, referencing that I was endangering Munchkin Sd14, I texted Munchkin right away and talkd it over. The conversation flowed out of her. She told me how angry her mother gets, how shes afraid of her temper, and her, how she twists everything into a negative.

MissK03's picture

TT is hilarious. She's got nothing better to do clearly... I don't know about social media because BM has mutual friends with SO (he is still friends with some of her family on Facebook) and her and I have 3 mutual friends so, I don't think she would say anything on there without us finding out but ya never know. For sure though, she bashes me to people who will listen and clearly don't know the full story. Do I care... not a bit. 

Now when it comes to skids... I know that her and SS17 have been on "same page" type stuff when it comes to me (in the past) but I really don't engage with him much anymore. SD13 however, BM does try to poison our relationship.. I blogged about it. (There are many examples I can use) When SD approaches me about BM here and there I really only try to point out facts to SD. I don't try not to be negative but I think it's fair for facts. 

I would just be careful about bringing stuff up to munchkin on your own. You know you weren't "endangering" munchkin but,  she doesn't need to know that TT was running her fingers on Facebook claiming you were.. I wouldn't tell skids if I ever found out BM was doing this to me. I would however, make it known to her that I knew what she was doing. What she would do with that after would be on her. 

CLove's picture

Thats a fair thing - I try not to involve Munchkin, unless I think that she needs to be prepared for conflict from Toxic Troll. 

She did mention that after the comments made yesterday (Monday), that later TT ranted to her about the exact thing. I wanted to reassure Munchkin that I am being safe no matter what she hears.

DH and I decided that we would leave it alone and just let others find out who she is through their own experience and not say anything to her. Just let her stew in her own juices. Because she wants that attention, especially from DH, who she still thinks she will "end up with " after he "gets rid of me" (Im 6 years in...we bought a house together and a fishing boat and I dont see  him cheating or me cheating so I dont think that will happen...)

MissK03's picture

Naturally TT will rant to munchkin.. she doesn't like the fact that you are close with her. BM claims I "stole" SD from her but that couldn't be farther then the truth. BM was a shitty parent for years before I came around. 

Just let munchkin bring it up to you first. (in my opinion) You and I have similar relationships with munchkin and my SD to a degree. I just never approach SD with things about BM. I let her come to me about them. 

I understand where you are coming from though trying to protect munchkin. It's tough. 

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

Does she really think these comments are upsetting to you or that you would feel inferior to her from them? Really don't understand her goal because I also find them hilarious and I would also still block her.

CLove's picture

Lately Ive been finding out how jealous and resentful she really is.

She feels that my marriage to DH is somehow inferior. She feels that somehow he will find me lacking, or whatever and he will come back to her. Shes still sort of in love with DH. Plus shes very jealous.

The thing with the ring - she finds my plain bands inverior because with DH there was "more bling", they both had diamonds. His band is also plain.

Her goal is to start with compliment then turn around and make digs. So she always looks like the nice sweet person. Its part of her narrative.

tog redux's picture

No no, she doesn't find your marriage inferior. She's jealous that you and DH are happy and that he'd rather be with you than with her. Also that DH has set limits on HER, TT, because of you.

Think of the level of bitterness it takes to still feel that way after all these years.

CLove's picture

She sees me succeeding, where she failed. So she "paints" a picture to others how I am useless, horrible, abusive, and anything else she can concoct. She even sais that DH is horrible (but she wants a man just like him...) and grumpy and negative. So anything she can "digup" she will use and twist.

caninelover's picture

Wrap an insult around with a compliment.  TT is quite a piece of work.  

All 6 profiles...ha ha.  I don't belong to any public FB groups for this reason.  I also only post occasionally.  We have a smaller private group of family that I post in more frequently.  Partly because I don't care to share details of my life with toxic SD23.

advice.only2's picture

So I think I'm more stuck on your friend and how she dismissed you and your feelings about TT and allowed TT and her six other profiles to remain on the page.
Rabbit might be all inclusive, but that inclusiveness should not negate your thoughts and feelings.
If Rabbit were my friend I would ask her to please stop sharing photos as she doesn't understand the negative impact it has on your relationship with Munchkin because her mother is toxic and abusive. Sorry that's not much of a friend in my opinion.

CLove's picture

Its such a small town. I have tried over time to let folks know whats up with Toxic Troll. 

But I hesitate to ask someone to block her, I dont know why.

Rabbit and I were more social friends and with our walks have progressivly gotten closer.

I just think folks have a hard time imagining how toxic Toxic Troll actually IS because they dont live their lives like that and havent experienced toxicity on that extreme level. Ive laid it out here over the years - YOU know what I am talking about because YOU are living it along with me.

Shes just very naive.

advice.only2's picture

No people don't have a hard time imagining how toxic somebody can actually be...instead they pretend to be naive which ensures they get a front row seat to the drama they are helping facilitate.
Look Rabbit is your friend and you know her better, all I'm saying is from an outside perspective she does not have your best interests at heart, if she did she would have shut that down no questions asked. That's what real friends do.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

No people don't have a hard time imagining how toxic somebody can actually be...instead pretend to be naive ensures they get a front row seat to the drama they are helping facilitate.

I have found this to be true - the hard way. I could not believe that the besties of my former BFF's wife did not recognize her toxicity and thought she was doing an excellent job of hiding it. Nope. They are a GROUP of toxic twunts. 

CLove, like advice.only said, you know Rabbit better. However, you might want to take care with what you say to anyone who is friendly - even only cordial - with TT. 


CLove's picture

I am taking this advice to heart. I definitely will watch closely what I reveal, and to who I reveal it.

CLove's picture

Thank - I didnt think of it like that until you pointed it out.

I will REALLY have to watch out for people better. Speaking of naive - I think that applies to me too.

charlieskeeper1's picture

Blocking the accounts/profiles you know are hers won't fix her stalking. She will no doubt have fake accounts set up in other names so she can peek at what you are up to one way or another. I've experienced this where the other person deleted the profile I blocked & set up another so he could directly message me. My partner's ex has also gone to the trouble of setting up full-on fake name profiles to be able to message me direct with nasty communications. I have blocked her own name ones & reported the fake ones to Facebook; the fake ones have ultimately disappeared but I have no doubt she will set up more. plus I know she accesses her Mum's account so likely uses that to check me out too. I am very careful what I publish but think if someone is gawping over what I'm up to they have a pretty sad life. I certainly don't give two hoots what these people are doing. The fact she does this is about intimidation; don't rise to it, she's looking fir a reaction. Don't give her the satisfaction.

CLove's picture

I think she is too dumb and too full of herself to do this. I have a private account that allows me to keep tabs on things so Im on the lookout for this exact thing.

JRI's picture

Whats it been, 7 or 8 years at least since her divorce?  Why cant she move on?  She is obviously still fixated on you and DH.  Whats her problem?

CLove's picture

not divorced, when I met DH. It was a year and a half before we started a relationship, Im 6 and a half years into this relationship. So yea - 8 years!

She just goes on and on to my friends about how abusive he is then will switch to "but hes really a great guy, just a bit grumpy! Im looking for someone just like him, except without the grumpiness."

CLove's picture

Im no contact but I hear from people and munchkin. She portrays herself as a jett-setting, down-home, sweet, sensible, just -want-a-nice-guy-to-cuddle with person.

Meanwhile shes into multiples, and is very mean, rude and never does anything or goes anywhere (even before COVID). Her temper is legendary and her child is afraid of her.

CLove's picture

To show everyone what they all look like. Its pretty creepy.