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BM cut SD's hair!

AlterEgo's picture

She cut SD's hair! DH is pissed! She didn't just cut it, she chopped it off! Last week, she let SD pluck her eyebrows! She also is letting SD wear tinted lipgloss now! The girl is 10!

Comments

jeaniebean's picture

what is wrong with cutting her hair and tinted lipgloss?it isn't makeup i dont agree with the eyebrow plucking unless her eyebrows were really bad.

AlterEgo's picture

BM just chopped it off. 8 inches. Now she has some "bob" haircut. And tinted lipgloss? What's next blush and mascara at ten? Might as well give her some clear heels and a g string now.

jeaniebean's picture

are you really strict catholic or something?not that its a bad thing but if you were really hardcore religious it would make sense of why you are so upset about a haircut and some lipglos.

AlterEgo's picture

I'm not catholic, I'm baptist. And moreso it's the fact that I don't want he to turn out like BM. A slutatastic slore.

HennyPen's picture

I have never seen anything regarding cutting hair. I know my EX took my 3 year old and shaved his head. almost to nothing, I was so upset I cried. I called my attorney, pissed beyond belief. He said there is nothing regarding that issue, common courtesy would have been nice, but it isn't required. Sad

stormabruin's picture

BM fell a day short of completing cosmetology school. (She couldn't pull her sorry ass out of bed the morning of her final exam.) She always does crap with SD's hair. She started highlighting it when SD was 8. She's 13 now & BM colored it jet-black. They have pics posted together with the black eyeliner & "smokey" eye makeup. They both have their white tank tops rolled up so their belly buttons show & their black bra straps hanging out. I guess it's their way of bonding. :sick:

AlterEgo's picture

If SD bonds with her BM like that she will end up just like BM. 4 kids with four different dads.

stormabruin's picture

Yep. SD has been "homeschooled" since she was 11 because she doesn't like school. I'm not sure how "schooled" she is, or who is doing the "schooling", but BM never finished HS or got her GD, so I hope it isn't her. SD does everything like her mom, which will lead to her to being a divorced lonely mother sleeping with whoever for as long as they'll pay the way for her & her kids. Of course, when the childbearing starts...around 15-16, they'll celebrate together again because after all...there will be a beautiful precious baby in the house!

BM to SD: "YAY! Sorry for any hope for a future SD, but isn't it cute??? Let's play dress-ups!"

Gia's picture

Like others said, the main problem is the eyebrows and the fact that the decision was not talked through with DH.

SD has beautiful hair and her hair was all the way to her butt when she was 5, BM wanted to cut her hair and donate it to cancer patients. SD loved her hair and was convinced by BM to cut her hair, DH didn't want to, but she cut it anyway. When we asked SD if the hair was donated, she said "no, it was thrown away"... Oh and by the way, they cut her hair all the way to under her ears (you couldn't even make a pony tail). DH was pissed as well.

Greenfig's picture

The BM butchers the SD daughters hair on regular basis. I mean BUTCHERS it. It looks like she took a hedge cutter to it. She refuses to take care of her hair (even as much as washing), so it's easier for her just to chop it off. It looks horrible.

I have been trying to tell BF that he could maybe take her to a real stylist to fix her hair. For god's sake she is 8 years old; she deserves to look normal or even cute.

WMKY's picture

My stepson's mother once left him in the car while she went to her "shift". Thank god someone was smart enough to call the police. That's how we got custody.

WMKY's picture

Apparently one of her costumes used to be very similar to the RCMP uniforms. That's gotta be illegal.

AlterEgo's picture

Wow, it would seem like it would be. Too bad most of the people she would get in trouble with are probably her customers.

jeaniebean's picture

am i the only one who thinks this is being taken a little too far?how does a haircut and lipgloss at 10 lead to stripping?my mom gave me a perm and let me paint my nails pink at 10 but i am not and have never been a stripper.i dont get it.

Abalyn's picture

No you're not the only one. I have a 10yo daughter and she wears tinted lip gloss, black nail polish, and streaks her hair. If her choice of nail polish color at 10 is the deciding factor in whether or not she becomes a stripper, then her dad and I have seriously failed as parents.

Abalyn's picture

No worries. My daughter is an amazing kid and I have no concerns that she'll grow up to be a stripper. She's a straight A student, runs a community service club at achool, was just awarded with her school's citizenship award (out of 450 kids), is a youth leader at church, and on and on.

All that despite the fact that she has evil black fingernails.

Smile

PoisonApples's picture

I agree completely. I routinely paint my 3 year old's nails AND put a smidgen of tinted lip gloss on her if she asks for it.

All my girls wore nail polish & lip gloss whenever they wanted, at whatever age.

They also got to decide how to wear their hair.

I honestly can't see what the problem is.

Abalyn's picture

Did SD want her hair cut? We go through this all the time. SD begs to get her hair cut and when DH finally gets it cut, she cries to BM about how she didn't want it cut. SD is a hairy little monkey and grows hair fast and everywhere!! She donates to locks of love at least once a year. And it's a big ruckus every time.

I don't think tinted lip gloss at 10 is a big deal either. Eyebrows? Normally would be a big deal, but it depends on the kid. SD has a unibrow that she could plow a field with.

TheWife's picture

I don't see why it's such a big deal. Gasolina cuts SD's hair all the time. I can see the she should let DH have a say in it, but condemning the child to stripper hood? That's taking it a bit far. And so is questioning another parent's parenting just because she lets her daughter do it.

Elizabeth's picture

I let my daughter get her hair cut however she wants, and she's only 6. It's just hair. It will grow back. However, it would have been nice if BM discussed the issue with the girl's father, as he should have a say in it. If my husband was against me cutting BD's hair, I wouldn't do it. But that's because I care about what my husband thinks and care about his feelings. Your BM obviously does not.

I agree it's taking it a little far to say SD is going to end up a stripper. My BD loves makeup, and I'm sure I will let her wear tinted lipgloss when she's 10 if she asks. Not sure about the eyebrow plucking thing. I think that's something that should wait until you're a teenager, unless it's a big unibrow or something.

sweetthing's picture

Did SD take care of her hair? I can see cutting it off if she was one of those kids who has long hair & doesn't take care of it. The lip gloss isn't exactly what I would think would be leading her down the road to hell, but does BM buy her age appropriate clothing. There is nothing worse than seeing little kids all sexed up. Kids today are growing up faster than we ever did.

AlterEgo's picture

Yes she does. And BM's ideas of "age appropriate clothing" are skinny jeans and "mini" heels.

goin-crazy's picture

does it ever get so bad with the nails, hair and peircings that you dont want to be seen in public with skinds. My problem is that we live in a small town and every one knows my sd 14 is going to b a hore like her mom. which is worse, nails hair and peircings or reputation. I dont know what i would do about facial peircing. :jawdrop:

PoisonApples's picture

" My problem is that we live in a small town and every one knows my sd 14 is going to b a hore like her mom. "

wow, what a horrible place to live, where kids are judged whores at 14 just because of their mother's behaviour. Poor kid, hopefully she'll get out of that ignorant, backwards place before it's too late.

Alexis's picture

I don't know why this is such a big deal. BM, the skids mother, cut her daughter's hair. Why is that any of your business?

AlterEgo's picture

It's my business because I have to be seen in public with her and people often mistake her for my daughter.

Alexis's picture

So its all about you then, nothing about SD Hmmm? What is wrong with being seen in public with a kid who has short hair?

AlterEgo's picture

You know what else is my problem? The fact that BM is grooming her to become a mini BM and I see it more and more everyday and it's sickening. We have primary custody of SD so if SD brings home babies, where does she bring them to? MY HOUSE. SO you are damn right it's about me. I am not going to be a grandmother before I am a mother.

Alexis's picture

Having a hair cut and bringing home babies are two different things. If you have primary custody you have a bigger share in her upbringing, a hair cut is not going to change the way she turns out in later life, your majority influence will.

If you and DH do not approve of lipgloss at her age, or plucking brows, those rules are for your house. You cannot enforce your rules in someone else's house. Nothing immoral has happened here. BM is the kids mother.

AlterEgo's picture

They start young and it's best to head it off at a young age. Not encourage it and "see where it goes." Don't get your panties in a bunch. She may be the kids mother, but that is by genes only.

Alexis's picture

So having a hair cut is immoral and leads to what in later life? It's a hair cut, it will grow back. Is it worth stressing over?

The bottom line is this is all about you and what you want, nothing about SDs wellbeing. You admitted on another blog that you love it when BM and DH are fighting, it gives you some sick sense of security. Is that in SDs best interest too.

Time out for me, I see through you.

AlterEgo's picture

Well good for you, Alexis. Do you want a popsicle?

And soooo glad to know you are following me around and checking out all my comments. Like on BMJen's blog as well.

Bless your heart.

Alexis's picture

Your comment on the other blog was directed at me, i was merely responding. This is not the place to start a cat fight, i stated an opinion and asked some valid questions, none that you have answered. No need to get personally abusive.

TheWife's picture

Really AE, was that called for? I think all Alexis is saying is that it seems the reasons why you are upset have nothing to do with SD's wellbeing. But moreso, your own image. If SD likes her new cut, why are you so opposed to it?

FallenAngel's picture

You know, my mom cut my hair short when I was a kid and also put lipgloss on me. I think it did scar me for life.

I eventually became a stripper. That's all I've ever done since I was 17. Since the baby though - I've had to take some time off (c-section scar still healing).

And you know what - I just recently got my hair cut off again - really short. No matter how much it takes to grow it out - I always go back to short hair. I think it's because that's how my mom always kept it.

I really wish she wouldn't have forced me to grow up so early...

Persephone's picture

I think the bigger question is whether the 10yr old likes her new hairdoo... it is her self-esteem.

My daughter begged me to cut her waist-length hair, it was beautiful. I did a couple of inches at a a time and sent her to the mirror, she kept saying shorter, shorter... Yikes... Well, she now has her hair long again. Some times they like to fit in--even when it detracts from themselves. Lip balm... no big deal IMHO. Eyebrow plucking... depends.. I plucked my girls eyebrows maybe even at 10. Just to give them shape, get rid of the uni-brow and the eyelid stragglers. Neatness... The problem is some people pluck tadpoles or pencil lines... not good at any age. Another point is that in an effort to retain childhood, some parents let their kids go through the gawky period--it is really unnecessary.

I am probably more liberal on this topic since my mother was a cosmetologist-- I grew up with perms, hair coloring, manicures, pedicures and make up lessons.

myna's picture

My sd last year (7years old) cut her own hair in the school. I got shocked, not because she did it but because she did it so well. When I picked her up I thought they were with BM at the hairdresses, then it turned out they were playing... She is a talent what should I say. BM freaked out, I was just laughing. We had a talk with her, but we agreed for Gods sake it`s just hair... I used to paint her nails and once in a while when she asks streight out her hair. I like that she is a girly girl and BM had never a bad word.

Gia's picture

Wink I like that SD6 is super girly, much like... ME!... For all BM cares Mascaras, blush, foundation are not part of her world. She is tomboy-esque... And the concept of looking presentable for her is not brushing her own hair for days (or at least thats how it looks like) throwing a huge plain shirt on, jeans and the ugliest "sandals" i have ever seen in my life. Whereas I LOVE, Love makeup, I have to do my nails about twice a week, I can never leave the house looking homeles, i just can't.

myna's picture

Her mother is a real tomboy too. She is pretty in a way and she is a nice woman but I do enjoy when SD says she wants to be like me. I`m a very girly girl, always with red nails, make up and you will never see me in comfortable colthes at home.

Rainbow.Bright's picture

I wish BM would chop off SD's hair. It's nappy and stringy. A cute bob would be just the ticket. She's got her brainwashed into beleiving her long nappy head is gorgeous. Whatever. And we let her use whatever lipgloss she wants. It's just lipgloss, she's not rubbing a penis on her mouth.

Rainbow.Bright's picture

Oh that! Lol, well when you can't take a brush through her hair without a wrestling match, it's nappy!

WMKY's picture

LOL

sweetthing's picture

I think it is probably very hard for you because you love your SD & want her to be the very best she can be. One of the toughest parts of being a step mom is knowing that we have none of the control & BM has it all. Correct me if I am wrong but it seems like you are afraid that BM is trying to make SD grow up to fast & turn her into herself.

IMO all you can do is have her dress age appropriate when she is with you guys and not let the rest bother you. ( easier said then done Wink )

AlterEgo's picture

That's exactly it. I don't want her to grow up too fast and become just like BM. The world is ill equipped for two of her, I am afraid.

Persephone's picture

You know, this has been my DH's driving force: he doesn't want his kids to grow up just like her. Well, unwittingly, in the process of his parenting with guilt and passive ways, they have. Doesn't matter what they dress like... it is what is (or isn't) in their hearts that matters most.

outofplace's picture

I must be crazy cause I don't see anything wrong with a bob cut and tinted lip gloss, not skinny jeans, and barely even mini heels. Plucking eyebrows.. maybe. But she sounds far from looking like a hoochie.

Chavez's picture

I agree. This description doesn't sound very hoochie looking. It actually sounds kind of cute to me.

winehead's picture

It's not the outside of your SD that's important, it's the inside. Is she doing ok in school? Do you like her friends? Helpful around the house? Respectful? If so, you've got nothing to worry about. If you're freaky now about a haircut and lipgloss, good luck with the teenage years.

ohxitsxapril's picture

Bm plucked or shaved my sd6's eyebrows! Pencil thin just like hers blech!! It would be different if she had a unibrow or something but nothing wrong with them! She is 6 yrs old for petes sake! Thank god bm never wears makeup so hopefully we don't have to worry about that anytime soon LOL.

Nemo's picture

I bought my SD these sequined flip fops with a little heel on them the other day acually. They are very cute. SO loved them too.

She wears my lip gloss and smell good body spray, always uses my lotion and sometimes wears sparkels on her eyes. and guess what? Shes 5! Does that make her a slut? No, she's 5. She wants to be a big girl, and she wants to be like her mother and me. Does that make anything wrong that we indulge her? No.

Her two fav colors are purple and pink. Wanna know why? Because purple is her mothers, and pink is mine.

I ovbisouly have quite a big roll in her life?
So, is she going to turn out to be a stripper like BM?
NO WAY IN HELL! Why? Becuase I'm around and I will make sure, I am the one being positive in her life. I am the good example. Maybe that's what you need to do. BE THE GOOD EXAMPLE