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Feelings of resentment are overwhelming

HopeFalls's picture

So lately I've become increasingly more resentful in my relationship and in general at home. I guess I can see where it comes from but I don't understand why it is so overwhelming at the moment. I cannot even stand being in the same room as the skids most of the time or it takes effort to be polite. Mostly I just switch off completely or try at least and when my GF asks me what's wrong the standard answer is nothing, which she accepts and things carry on as per usual.

This weekend SD13 comes into our room at 22h00 telling her mom/my GF to wash the shirt she has on because she wants to wear it to church with her father. Her mom proceeds to say no and that she must find something else to wear and then the tantrum starts and I had just had enough I told her to find something else to wear and that was that end of freaking story. The tears start and I'm just at wits end, the entire story ended when I took her phone and told her to go to her room and sort herself out. Throughout this she talks back to her mom is rude, disrespectful and just plain being a brat. She screams and cries she did not do anything wrong and runs to get her phone before I do , but I take it away nonetheless. Next morning her mom gives her phone back, no apology no nothing. I say to my GF what are you teaching her and her response is she needs her phone while at church with her dad and I just give up honestly.

Ok so maybe understanding the resentment a bit more now lol it helps writing it down.

SS14 told me earlier this year that he hates me, this after he stole a lot of money from me and proceed to lie through his teeth about it, the reason he hates me is because out of his mom and dad I was the only one giving him consequences for what he did and sticking to them. We've moved past this and are in a better place since then.

I've tried my best since the start to give these kids everything I could and to love them to the best of my ability, but lately its like I just don't care and haven't got the faintest inkling to even try and this makes me feeling like a POS, because I do love them but like someone else told me on here I don't have to like them to love them.

I wish they would go live with their dad and the other "perfect" step mother. I could really deal with just seeing them every other weekend paying the minimum amount of child support and having no other responsibilities just like their dad and other SM.

HopeFalls's picture

Hi tog, this is what I've been doing the past couple of months but Saturday I just couldn't take it anymore. She still cannot be consequent in parenting and they are just going to get worse the older they get, but she just won't see it or doesn't want to. Lets just say that I'm learning new meaning to self-control. I agree that my resentment towards the children stem from my GF. I've become resentful of all of them, her included but unfortunately our relationship has a few more issues than just her parenting skills.

Mr.Just.His.Wife's picture

A few ideas:

1)Whose name is the cell phone bill in? If it's yours cancel it.

2)I used to have the problem with late night knocks on the bedroom door. At that time my wife's kids lived at home too. Her daughter was the worst offender. I had enough told all of the kids, hers and mine, that after we went to bed unless the house was on fire, someone was bleeding or had a bone protruding through the skin we were not to be disturbed. If they did, I would answer the door in whatever condition I was in. Three nights later her daughter knocked. While her mother and I were otherwise occupied. I did answer the door buck naked and in a rather obvious state. My step daughter found an interest in her shoes, stammered an apology and walked away. We have never had a kid knock on our bedroom door since unless one of them was truly ill.

Bottom line, if your GF isn't going to parent her kids, it really isn't your job. If her lack of parenting now is making you resentful, imagine when it's your kid she is being so lackadasical with in the parenting department. Is that something you can live with? If not, you know what you need to do.

HopeFalls's picture

I used to pay for their cellphones but I eventually put my foot down and now their dad pays for it as I'm done paying for everything. Lol that's one way to answer the door and another to teach them boundaries, good one Smile My GF definitely needs to step it up, I'm not sure how much more I can take and no that is not something I could live with at all.