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Does anyone else HATE their 16-year old SD??

Jax2014's picture

I know, I know....we're not supposed to say such things.

But I can't help it. I've tried and tried with this girl, but she just continuously belittles me and my C/L husband. When she sent me a text calling me a "b**ch", that was the last straw.

I told my hubby that if he wants to have a relationship with his daughter, I wouldn't stand in the way...but until she stops with the disrespect towards me, I'm DONE.

There is soooo much more I can add, and I may still do that. Just wanted some thoughts on this issue from others...

Marge43's picture

Honey Please. You don't have to tell me. My husband has a 19 year old Heroin addict daughter that I regretfully let in our home. He kisses her her ass and does everything she wants. Now he has taught this girl how to drive. Lol. Please I would advise any woman not to marry a man with too much baggage. Especially teenage daughters. They are spoiled and can cause a marriage many problems if the couple does not stick together. Its awful!!!! Please!!!

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

my baby's half sister is indeed 16. and narcissistic and her entitled BM has primary custody. But I usually only have dealings with her now three times a year now and that's wonderful for me. I hope for my daughter that her older sister grows out of many of her behaviors and that they will one day have a great relationship but I'm not holding my breath

notasm3's picture

Do not waste your time and energy hating her effing guts. Smile No matter how despicable she is.

Just "ignore the whore". Her opinion of you should matter less than the quantity of sh*t that passes through the sewage system on any give day. Block her from texting or calling you.

You will be much happier and calmer if your expectations of her and your interface with her are just as close to zero as possible.

Let your DH have the relationship with her that he wants. Don't spend time criticizing her or he might get defensive.

sodonestepmom's picture

I completely understand. Sometimes it's all I can do to not run screaming down the street when I get blamed for every problem my skids. I have actually taken to hiding in the basement on the freezer behind the door because the self serving, entitled, brats won't bother to do more than yell my name. Which might as well be Cinderella.

Ladyofthehouse's picture

I don't hate my SD-27, but she's definitely not the sort of person that I would choose to forge any kind of friendship with in the outside world for sure. Therefore, I am seeking advice on how the handle the times I am exposed to her

Jax2014's picture

WOW! Thank you all so much for your comments, suggestions, observations, etc. And I'm sorry I haven't been back on this website since I made my original post. I just feel so overwhelmed sometimes with all my SD16's bullshit.

Like yesterday...my SO sends her a text (he tries to contact her on a weekly basis because he wants to have a better relationship with her) letting her know he's coaching my other SD11's soccer team this year, and would she like to be the assistant coach. She texts him back calling him an a-hole and saying that she's removing all the "toxic" things from her life and he's at the top of her list.

I know it hurts him so much when she says crap like this, even though he says he's okay. I'm so ANGRY with this little b*tch, that I actually dream of b*tch-slapping her. I cannot believe the absolute LIES that she tells people: how he abused her physically, how he yells at her all the time (we haven't seen her in almost a full year). My SO has NEVER been anything but an AMAZING dad to both her and her sister, and I've NEVER witnessed any behaviour that would be even remotely questionable on his part.

Last year for her 16th birthday, my SO asked me what he should get her for her birthday. Because we hadn't seen her in a couple months (because she stormed out because he told her "no" for something and we haven't seen her since), I suggested an "experience" gift, rather than a material item. I suggested that he offer to take her and a friend to a local theme park for the day...her and her friend could go and do their own thing for the day, we could spend the day with the 11 year old SD and then we could all have dinner at the restaurant of her choice. He felt that was a great idea so he tried calling her, but she didn't pick up (BIG SURPRISE!!), so he texted her and wished her a Happy Birthday and let her know what her gift from us was. She offered absolutely NO RESPONSE on her birthday...instead, the very next day, SO got a text from her that said the following:

"Instead of the theme park, can you pay for my drivers license?"

?!?!?!?!?!?! Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!?!?!?!

When my SO showed me this, my blood was BOILING! My response to him was "No effing way!!"

WOW. So we're supposed to let a 16-year-old NOTHING tell us what is an acceptable birthday present?! AS IF! I cannot believe the level of disrespect she has for her father and I. I cannot believe how supremely AWFUL this girl is. I cannot believe what a manipulative, lying, selfish little b*tch she's turned into. I guess it doesn't help that BM is just FEEDING her hate because she needs to have her all to herself right now...after all, the court date is set for June and it only makes her look good if one of their daughters want nothing to do with their father.

I don't think I've ever TRULY HATED someone in my life before SD16 and her BM. If one (or both of them) were hit by a bus, my honest reaction would be "Meh...." I truly wouldn't give two shits.

I feel like an awful person for venting like this, but I just don't know how to handle this situation. My SO is really the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I've never been treated by anyone else the way he treats me. He really doesn't tell me too much about this stuff because he knows it stresses me out, and I just worry about our health. The stress is not good for either one of us (he's already had a mild heart attack in the past). I often tell him that SD16 better effing hope and pray that I croak before he does because if I don't I'll make absolutely certain that she doesn't see a DIME of any of our hard earned money, if it's the last thing I do.

Again, sorry for the rant, I didn't realize how long this post was going to turn out to be. Is it wrong that it helps knowing other people are in my situation and know exactly how I feel? LOL Smile

Jax2014's picture

Thanks so much for your comment, Jasper.
Yes, I try to let it go....and I do. Until the next awful text comes in where SD unleashes such horrible language it would make a sailor blush. And the worst part is, nothing my SO says or does will make one iota of difference because she doesn't listen to a word he says and we haven't seen her in almost a year.
There is so much hate in me for this girl and her BM, that my heart just hurts. Sad
I wish they could both just fall off the face of the earth...LOL

legmel's picture

Jax2104 I have come to accept that all SD's the world over are precisely the same. Rude, entitled, spoilt, disrespectful I can go on. My SD16 is such a pain and we have her full-time, her BM is simply not interested, does not contribute towards anything. But I have learnt to disengage - it causes such a rift between her dad and I but I have been hurt too many times. I sometimes cannot help myself and get involved, but its because we actually care.