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Confession of a BM to a terrible teen

cpreston's picture

My husband is the step-dad to my 13 y/o daughter. She has been a good kid, and still is a pretty good kid for the most part, but is going through what we are calling the "terrible teens"

she will come downstairs for dinner, and be in a perfectly pleasant mood, and then the slightest comment, even things that she used to find funny, will set her off into sulking, or saying the forbidden "shut up"!

we've both given her some slack, with the mood swings, but certain things we just don't tolerate
"shut up" or any kind of disrespect is the #1 thing that is not tolerated in our home

not that she doesn't ever display disrepectful behavior, she does, and she gets punished for it (removal of privleges, grounding, etc)

My Husband has been really the calm one through this and we're hoping that the mood swings are attributed to the whole hormonal change thing that happens at 13...

Bless him, it's not HIS kid, but he's putting up with the crap pretty well and we're doing what we think is best to handle the situation as a team.

Purple hope's picture

Love the word "team" that makes a huge difference. Sorry you have been dropped into the awful "teenage pool o slime" Just keep your heads above water, and I'm told eventually you will escape, mostly unharmed. My future SS has just turned 14, so I'm sure I'll be swimming with ya soon, but girls are always harder I think. It sounds like ya'll are picking your battles and doing the best you can together. Kudos to you and Good Luck.

janeyc's picture

Phew I don't envy you having a teen girl lol, I remember what I was like, talking of envy I am envious of your lovely hubby, how I wish my bf stood up for me and disciplined his child, (he never does).

Jsmom's picture

13 is awful. All you can do is not tolerate disrespect and punish every single time for it. If you don't they think they are in the right. DH only disciplined about every third time with SD16 and she became a nightmare....

cpreston's picture


Maybe after a while, she’ll figure out that disrespect is not tolerated

(I can only hope)

My kid usually is good for a while, and then will backslide and say or do something dumb (like a door slam) and then we have to drop the hammer on her and keep her in for a weekend w/ no access to phone/computer and limited TV.

Thing is, it’s usually harder on us while she’s being punished because she’s miserable and not much fun to be around (she sulks, as teenage girls will do) but I know that being a “good” parent isn’t easy with this kid. WE could take the easy route, but we know that will probably only makes things worse for her and us in the long run.

She wrote me a really nice letter for mother’s day (I mentioned in another post) when stuff like that happens, makes me realize that it’s totally worth being the ‘bad guy’ when we have to be.

stepmomx2's picture

My SD is the same way, the only problem is that she's decided her life would be "perfect" if she were to go live with her mom. Now nothing me or her BD say matters, she just wants what she wants.