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Question about child support and welfare benefits

cpreston's picture

So… as I would have predicted my 27 yo SS’s baby-momma has filed with domestic relations for child support from him

I guess the fact that he still pays her cell phone bill, and her car insurance and gives her money every week, buys the child clothes, food, diapers, and has the child every night and most weekends isn’t enough… she wants more

Here’s what’s (even more) shady about this:

She applied for assistance while living with us.
She has a SNAP card which she would use to shop for her mother when she was living in our house, she was getting cash assistance (not sure if she still does) and she has health insurance for her and the baby through medicaid (??) she also is the beneficiary of whatever kind of grants that she can get and is getting her associates degree as a paralegal

All this wile using our address as her residence

She moved out like 6 months ago and has been living with her mother in the next county

She went to domestic relations in the next county using her mothers’ address as her residence

Her “welfare” paperwork still comes to our house as does her department of transportation stuff and her school stuff

I always thought that if you were receiving assistance, that would be mitigated by any kind of child support that you get.

Is she trying to ‘double dip’ by filing in the next county over?
If anyone has any experience or knowledge of this please let me know
I am also concerned that we may appear to be involved in whatever fraudulent activity she has going on

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

The taxpayers need to be paid back for her public assistance. Usually when opening a welfare case, the state mandates that child support is filed for. It is likely the state is doing this, because the state wants to be paid back. The state will keep all or a portion of the child support collect from your SS.

What you should do is call her case worker or DHS and let them know about her living situation and address.

My husband's ex was on welfare and tried to use my two SSs on her case even though my husband is the custodial parent and kids don't even live in her state. The state actually opened a case against my husband and it was a mess to close.

Disneyfan's picture

If she is (was) getting cash, CS will be all over dad. He will have to pay CS, but the full amount will not go the mom. She will get a small amount and the rest will go to the state until they are paid back.

My son's half-sister’s mom was on welfare forever. She only received $50 of the CS their dad paid, the rest ($425) went to the state of NC.

cpreston's picture

Thanks for the input
I googled “report welfare fraud” and submitted the info that I had about her and her living situation

The other thing is that there is no custody order. It’s his word against hers about how often the baby is with him and how much he’s already providing for the kid. I worry about that because literally all the Dom Relations office asked him to bring to the hearing was paystubs from the last six months (or something like that) and proof of his own personal expenses.

(he’s trying to do the right thing, I have to hand it to him, he messed up with this broad but he’s doing what he can to be a good Dad)

She has a job that she works less than 8 hours a week… he works two jobs so that he can afford to give her money and take care of the baby… I think he’s screwed… and now she is too. Isn’t that great?

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

In some state she could have the child less that 50% of the time and still get benefits. Your SS should still get a custody order and he really should ask for full custody.

SMof2Girls's picture

From now on, send all her mail back "return to sender - wrong address". If she's not living there, they need to correct her address in the system.

Start documenting everything, including all the time SS spends with his kid. And tell this kid that he needs to stop paying ANYTHING of hers. He can provide support for his child until a calculation can be ordered, but her cell phone? Heck no!

nothinforya's picture

Support can't be ordered for a time period before a petition was filed with the court. He can be required to pay arrears from the time he is served to the time an order is entered. So he needs to stop giving her any money at all to save up for the payment he will have to make when it goes to court. He may actually end up paying less that he is now. Your state probably has a CS calculator on line. He can go there and figure out what he will owe based on his and BM's income.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Yes he can. That is a state dependent rule and a lot depends on if paternity has been adjudicated or not.

cpreston's picture

but she LIVED WITH HIM (us) and still Legally has the same residence as him....

so the court can't say "pay arrears for the last two years...even though you two were cohabitating and the child was being 'co-parented' and SUPPOSEDLY supported equally by both parents"
(like that's EVER gonna happen)

Rags's picture

Yes IMHO your SS-27's XGF/BM is double dipping on entitlement programs. That said........

Your SS needs to stop paying the BM's bills and stop all payment to the BM of his baby immediately until there is a CO. I would suggest that he also start pinging the CSE office to make payments to them. They will not accept his payments until there is a court issued support order but at least there may be a record that he tried.

If he insists on continuing to pay the BM before going to court then he needs to pay her in a cashiers check that is clearly labeled as CHILD SUPPORT and only pay her an amount that he pulls from your state's CHILD SUPPORT calculator. Make sure he prints out the screens from the calculator clearly showing the information he entered. He needs to enter that information as accurately as possible. At the very least he needs to pay her only with a personal check clearly notated as being for Child Support for the specific month. He needs to photocopy the check and be able to reconcile her cashing of that check with his bank statements.

NO MORE PAYING THE BM's BILLS!!!!!!!! She pays her bills, he pays CS.

WTF is he thinking by not getting a Court Order for custody/visitation/support? Does he think that the court will see he is a nice guy because he is paying bills for his womb donor? The odds of the court recognizing that he has been doing the right thing are slim and none.

Always remember that it is likely the bottom 10%ers of the legal profession that he will deal with throughout his blended family/family law adventure. That inlcudes Judges. These are people that wouldn't know the right thing if it bit them in the ass or how to render a just decision if you wrote it on a 2x4 and beat them over the head with it until it sinks in. IMHO of course.

Regardless of the quality of moron that he will interface with regarding family law judges, clerks and attorneys your SS-27 needs to extricate his head from his ass and get to court ASAP to get this resolved. He will have to pay CS but he will NOT have to pay the BM's bills nor should he be paying them now. He needs to damned sure be pulling his bank records together to show any payments he has paid to the BM back to his first payment so just maybe he will get screwed in court. He also needs to clearly document the parenting days he has with the child.

Once he gets to court he needs to insist on direct payroll with holding of CS whether he is awarded CP or NCP status. Get the hell out of direct interface with the BM regarding money.

All IMHO of course.

cpreston's picture

Rags, you’ve pretty much summed up what I was thinking was the right course of action.

When I divorced, I went straight to court for custody issues and support. My ex was like “why do we need a judge to tell us when I can visit with my child, why do you need the state to take my money and then give it to you???”

Simply put – because I don’t trust you.

I don’t trust this little beoch as far as I can throw her. She’s a lazy, opportunistic, greedy whore. We bent over backwards for her… when she got pregnant her mother basically dumped her on our doorstep and said in not so many words “she’s your problem now”

She lived like a queen bee in my house, never lifted a finger… we encouraged her to go back to school to get an education, we watched the baby whenever she had class (she takes night courses)

When push came to shove and I finally said “ you have to pitch in around here, you’re not paying rent, you’re not paying for the food on the table… you’re a part of this house and we all have our responsibilities around here”
She got ‘offended’ and left!
When she left her and SS decided that they didn’t “need” to go through the courts for custody and support… I told SS ‘bad idea’ but hey, what do I know, right? It’s not like I’ve been through all of this before (eyeroll)

She’s been trying to get back together with him… and he’s done with her…whole other story…she’s a psycho and constantly accusing him of cheating…he works two jobs and takes catering and other side jobs whenever he can AND was busy carting her ass back and forth to school and once or twice a week to her ‘job’ (ahem, working four hours isn’t really a job….) … even if he was so included, he’d have no time to cheat on her.

So when she finally got it thru her head that he was #DONE# with her, she went and filed for child support.