Hi, new here.
My partner and I have been together 3 years.
He has two kids. He gets them every other weekend and one night a week.
His son, I do okay with. His daughter, I really struggle with.
She has a lot of problems. Many are probably fetal alcohol related. She's 9. She's obese. She struggles to wipe and leaves a lot of poop behind. She often doesn't wear underwear. She leaks urine and most of the time smells really bad. She has, in the past month, wet the bed twice without saying anything. The first time my partner told her: "Accidents happen but you have to tell us so we can clean it up". Well she just wet the bed and didn't say anything a second time. I found out hours after her mom picked her up. A talk with her mom revealed that she's been wearing Depends for a month. But of course her mom didn't bother to give me a heads up. Her mom is horrible and has a personality disorder. She can't be reasoned with.
In the past two months I've found skidmarks on the bedspread. Wet bed twice. Poop in the shower twice. Poop on the bathroom floor. Numerous incidents of clothes with skidmarks. Scribbled on wall. Was told not to. Later scribbled over same spot with blue crayon.
I just went into the laundry room and I smelled a smell. Leggings with skidmarks. No underwear.
I'm seriously ready to lose my mind with this child.
My partner is fighting for joint custody. I don't know how to tell him that will kill me inside. Our finances are crap because all his money goes to child support. But I can handle that better than joint custody.
This is my dreadful secret.