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Sh!tting her pants on purpose.

KiFire's picture

SD stb5 shits her pants and it's driving me up the goddamn wall. No, it's not accidents. She was finished potty training shorty before she turned 4, she was fine for 6 months and then started in with this. First it was ALL the time. All the adults thought maybe she was having a problem because why would someone just start shitting their patns for no reason? She saw her Pedi and then a GI, nothing is wrong. BM had just had a baby and BS3 was still in diapers so we thought it was regression. About 2mos ago it stopped, she still had the occasional "accident" (skidmarks) but that's just a kid thing.

Doing the laundry after last weekend I found two pairs of pants with the underwear balled up in them, the whole seat of them stained and friggen balls of poo in the clothing :sick: Apparently, she remembered how we were having to throw her panties away before. She seems to think I was tossing them to be mean - and not because, EW.

Now I'm checking her all the time, she shit her pants twice today. Once while we were at home, there was no reason she should have done it, she shit her pants and then decided she had to pee so she used the toilet and smeared shit everywhere. FDH made her toss the panties and clean herself up. The second time she did it AT WALMART. We made a bathroom run while we were there!We had BS3 and he has to pee constantly because he's three! I know she used the bathroom because she was with me! FDH took BS and I took her! FDH noticed when she was getting changed for bed, she literally will walk around with a turd in her panties all day. I'm so grossed out.

She only does this here, FDH is ready to flip his lid over it and all BM has to say is "man I'm glad she only does that to you. lol" Awesome.


learningallthetime's picture

My BS6 has had poop issues, it seems the urge comes on him very fast. He is FAR worse at his dad's. I am pretty sure it is an emotional thing with him. As the ped said the things they can control are what goes in and what goes out. By control she did not mean it was deliberate, but emotionally kids show their issues through their control or lack of control of bowel issues. I gave BS6 some responsibility here (this was a year ago, right after me and ex broke up) such as he has to feed the fish and he is in charge of making sure the garbage is ready to be taken out. It seemed giving him control of this, helped with his pooping. Not sure how though!

Hope this helps.

KiFire's picture

Hmm, maybe. She does have normal responsibilities like the other kids.. maybe I should get some plants or something and give her a special job. Thanks!

learningallthetime's picture

Also, me and ex split up, both of us moved and he started kindergarten, all in a couple of months. I think he was just freaked out. See if there are other issues too - BS6 has a 20 min drive to dads after school, where I live next to the school. Turns out he was embarrassed to poop at school, and as they tend to hurry the kids at school he was scared to try and poop. So, he would get to mine and immediately poop, dad got mad as he pooped himself. I spoke to the teacher and she would send him to potty 15 mins before school finished and the problem was helped a lot.

Also, having raised 5 (BS and 4 skids), some kids seem to know when they need to go and others just do not. BS and middle skid never seemed to get it - they would need to poop right now, or would be confused between a fart and a poop. The others never had that issue. Some people are just less aware of their bodies - hell, I am a nurse, some adults cannot tell!

Justme54's picture

You think BM trained her to do that!! I am so sorry. Is she eating more fiber...maybe softer bowels? I would make her use baby finish. If that is not it, must be wanting to be babied. I wish you luck.

KiFire's picture

I don't think BM trained her to shit her pants over here.. She's been pretty upset because she buys SD the more expensive character panties and then we sometimes have to toss them. I certainly will not spend the extra $$ for SD to have pretty shit catchers. She does have to clean herself up with baby wipes, FDH will not do it for her.

Justme54's picture

I am sorry if I came across as rude. I really did not think that...I was thinking what you said BM...said...My thoughts were what I would have said to BM. I hope I did NOT offend you. I wish you the best on things getting better ASAP. Try to get a good night of rest...tomorrow is another day.

KiFire's picture

Oh no, I'm not offended, not at all, just not thinking through the way I replied. I know Sdstb5's BM isn't that malicious. She's the one who occasionally does something horrible (but stupid). For the most part she's an agreeable person though.

KiFire's picture

}:) That's what I suggested. I don't put up with this stupidity from BS3 and I could certainly hide behind his GI problems, I don't, and he doesn't poop in his pants.

realitycheckmom's picture

Take her to see a psychologist or pyschaitrist. When my FDH died DD3.5 started having accidents and regressing on her potty training. She had gone through a lot of upheaval in a short time and losing her "dad" suddenly like that and her stepbrother really did a number on her. It was a control issue for her. She no longer has accidents and she never had night time accidents which made the doctor think it was a control issue. Also I would tend to think BM is full of it if she says SD only does it at your house.

Starla's picture

Yours is 5 and mine is 15.. :jawdrop: when you figure it out, please let us know! I think its a mental thing and I only found one way that did stop it BUT with having my SD only sometimes, it didn't remain working. We had my SD scrub out her panties on a daily basis yet the dumbass was to stupid to figure out that she was nasty and should change her ways..So I put her back into diapers (yes me the evil SM who bought the underwear) at age 12 and it did come to an end here..! Sadly SD is too messed up mentally to return here due to her violence with people and animals but she got sick of the diaper game. She never messed a diaper but I will never forget the day her and I ran into Wal Mart and she was horrified that her diaper became un attached when she was enjoying herself with me and SD seriously stopped shitting her pants.Yes like you we have brought SD in to the doctors to rule out any medical issues first. Also, SD was the one who had to change her own diaper bc of her super careful of that should you go down that road. I like to think of it as giving back the problem to the person who has the issue.

Being your SD is only 5, I could be wrong but the non BM I am..I feel otherwise. Just my opinion and influenced by the only SD I was sadly given.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Okay this is gonna sound HARSH. SD10 did this for a while, when she was 7/8ish. This kid came to us with some REAL hygiene issues. The pants shitting wasn't the thing that bothered me the most. It was shitting her pants and hanging around with a pants load until she was discovered. It was mortifying. She's also a chronic bedwetter. I know they can wet the bed til later, but here's the thing. There's nothing wrong with the kid. She's seen a freaking specialist.

So, for the bedwetting, I put a plastic sheet on her mattress, and every time she wet, she had to change her own sheets. She had to get up in the morning and heft her pissy sheets down the hall to the washroom about 5 times before she started seeing fit to get up and use the toilet at night.

For the pants soiling...I was initially throwing the panties away, but it was getting ridiculous. Sometimes more than once a day. Gimme a break. So I got her some Oxyclean, a pair of Playtex gloves like you use when you do dishes, and a little washbasin, like the ones you use when you have a new baby at the hospital. I started having her fill the basin with water and SCRUB the shit out of her panties before she put them in the wash. Then she had to clean her gloves up and the whole nine yards.

She wrapped that shit up REAL quick. Honestly, I think it was just laziness, and there's one more thing. Her mom is fucking disgusting. So I doubt she really cares if she's got a trouser bomb or not. Her mom literally doesn't shower twice a week and her house has that "chipmunk shavings" smell. Like you would imagine a house would smell if kids didn't bathe or wipe their asses. You catch my drift I'm sure. And SD used to visit there a few weekends a month, so how could she not become desensitized to it?

oneoffour's picture

She is probably too scared to tell you because of your reaction. I used to be the same way with my own kids. They KNEW better but still they had accidents from time to time.. Would they tell me? Hell no! Because I became a fire breathing banshee woman!
And as a pre-k student you might want to learn how to deal with this now because your future career is going to be full of it (excuse the pun).

I started keeping a marble jar. Each time we had a good day, one marble. When we had 5 marbles the 'perp' got to choose the TV channel in the afternoon. Which means if it was my son who was the perp. he had to sit through Jem-Truly Outrageous until he could get his own 5 marbles. When it was my daughter she got to sit through Thomas the Tank Engine. But she caught on in about 4 days.

She is 5 and going through some serious changes right now... School is looming, life changes with her mum and dad. Kids aren't always so resilient. Be gentle, firm but kind.