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Poop, so much poop

KiFire's picture

I've rewritten this 8,000 times.

FDH and I are sick of SD6 pooping her pants. She does it on purpose, when she's angry and out of laziness. We've done everything. Start-charts, making her clean up after herself, having her go to the DR, ignoring it, freaking out about it, rewards, and the other direction taking stuff away, reasoning with her (hah!), threatening her, making her sit for 30mins after every meal, flat out making her sit on the toilet every hour for 15min regardless of what's going on. She does not poop herself at school, she's in first grade. BM2 claims "she NEVER does that to me!" but when we had to do the school shopping thing, SD6 shit her pants at the mall and BM just let her walk around like that.

FDH is over it, I am over it. We've had to leave parties, outings, what-have-you because princess poop get's amd and shits her pants. SD6 was put in a pull up (she wets the bed so we always have some) after she shit herself yesterday and was told she wouldn't be going back to underwear until she stopped shitting herself. We put a package of wipes and a bunch of shopping bags int he bathroom. FDH showed her once how to get herself clean (previously we would just make her shower) and how to throw all the wipes in a shopping bag with the pull up, and to tie it off so it won't stink up the apartment. It's taken her at least 30-40 minutes to clean herself each time. Hopefully the fact that it takes forever and she's being left all alone will make her knock-it-off.

I'm just so over it. It's just so effing gross. I'm waiting for all of us to get pink-eye. :sick:


KiFire's picture

As I said in my original post... she has been to a Dr. and we have done the sit on the toilet thing, ect, ect.

As for dad talking to her, she see's more of him than the rest of us do because he spends ALL of his time talking to her, or coaching her through cleaning herself, or having a battle of wills about sitting on the fucking toilet. which is why we're at leave her the eff alone to figure it out. the other kids are suffering because the poopy princess has all of dads time. SD8 and BS5 deserve his attention too, they also deserve to get out and do things. we have left things, not gone to things - with BS5 bawling and SD8 pouting while shits-herself is skipping and singing. She gives no fucks about anything or anyone.

furkidsforme's picture

I have no words, other than thank god that isn't my SKid. Holy hell. I do agree it sounds behavioral, but a Dr is the right place to start.

kathc's picture

Every weekend have something fun planned. Trip to the zoo, out for ice cream, movie, etc, hire a sitter to stay with poopy. Tell sitter she is to use the bathroom hourly. Let her know that until a month of no pooping in her pants, she goes nowhere. Not even clothes shopping. They get bought and brought home to be tried on. Yes, a bigger pita for you but will not let her get an excuse to go out,

StepLady's picture

If a dr sees no reason for this and she only does it at home, then I would let her know that Sunday is family day. If you have her all weekend, then she can try to control herself and if she can she can be included in DHs time with the kids. If she has accidents on Friday or Saturday, then she can not "safely" go to events on Sunday. Find stuff to do, even if it is free stuff around time. A hike in the park, a trip to a play ground, whatever. But it is for the kids and DH and if she cant make it through Sat and Fri she will not go. Even if she screams in her room or you have a glass of wine and ignore her ass she is not leaving with the others and DH. I would guess only once or twice would show her you guys mean business. If you can not handle her then have dh stay with her and have her in her room while you take kids out. Has anyone tried therapy? Or having school talk to her that she has accidents at home? A visit to the nurse there may be in order to discuss severe bathroom problems. They cant tell a soul but kids dont know that, she may be afraid for her teachers to know what she is like at home. Sorry yall are going through this sounds gross.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

I don't have any advice. I just wanted to say that my YSS used to shit and piss himself to get his way. He finally stopped doing it when he was about 10. It was so disgusting.

I feel for you.

moeilijk's picture

A friend of mine has a similar issue with her 6 yo. In her case it doesn't seem to be an obvious power struggle... but ofc it is at that age (assuming nothing medical).

What my friend used to do was what your DH is doing - time and attention, positive or negative, in coaching, discussion, etc etc...

Now she's stopped. She said she's seeing it as a struggle for independence. The kid says he wants to be independent but then wants a diaper to poop in. Hmmm. So instead of her helping him clean up, she's taught him how to do it and she checks it... if not done, sends him back to do it again. With a neutral expression, because the kid is now getting zero bang for his poopy buck. It's just another chore.

It's only been a few days, so I can't report on the outcome, but I suspect the kid will be choosing the toilet pdq.