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Nobody is addressing skid depression, mental health, and self harm threats

MayCorine851's picture

Since I been with DH, SD has always had behavior/mental issues. We have been together 7yrs and it seems to only get worst. SD is now 15 and has been put out of BM house for running away and consistently trying to fight her. She ended up with us a few months pack "temporarily", but BM refuses to put a plan together as far as custody. My issue at this point is that this child is in my house literally sleeping all day, barely attending virtual school, her room is a horrible mess, she consisty tells DH and Grandmother she is depressed, and who knows if she takes her meds. Recently she mentioned doing self harm also. DH doesn't put any structure on her, allows her to be on her phone and play the game all the time into the morning sometimes. I just don't get why DH doesn't see the damage this is causing. Everytime I say anything it's meet with an attitude by both SD and DH. I have told him several times now that I couldn't do this. It's just too much for me, plus I have two toddlers. This child needs so much help and nobody seems to address it. I just don't know how much longer I can just sit ideally by. I'm always in the back of mind scared she will do something crazy to herself.  

Rags's picture

YOu can't care more than her own parents. Neither can you tolerate her polluting your life, marriage, and home.  Establish the standards of behavior and performance required for her and all the kids in your home and enforce those standards.

She is 15, mentally ill or not, she should deliver to the standards that are required of a 15yo. She keeps her room clean. Period.  If she failes, her crap goes into garbage bags that go on curb.  If she will not keep her room in order, take her door and empty her room.  Her claims of depression are likely nothing other than excuses to get out of doing what she knows she should do. Even if they are legitimate, she should be held to comply with the standards of behavior and performance.  She should also have to attend therapy and take her meds. Those should be included in the standards of performance she is held to.

Good luck.

JenessaMontagna's picture

Life's problems can often seem unsolvable. We can spend years figuring out how the other person or thing makes us do what we do and still not get the desired result. This is often because we are driven by internalized standards that tell us what we should do. And twist us into acting contrary to those standards when an external force attempts to bend us in different directions. I also had a challenging period in my life. I was lucky because of, which helped me to become happy again. It's essential to solve the problem in time.