Need some advice....
How do you say.... I don't won't your daughter staying with us full time. It's too stressful?? I have told DH I am tired and I can't do this up and down with SD mental health. I have said I don't won't to do full time. I have said that I not ok with your child being here all the time and she continues to say she wants to harm herself and nobody seems concerned or takes it seriously. I don't won't to yell and cause scene, but what else can I do or say??? I just don't understand.... there is no discipline and no requirement of chores. I know I should disengage, but I care and I'm trying to help DH raise a functioning human. Any ideas or thoughts?? I literally just won't to leave, but I love DH and our kids. All this is just too much and the more I see him dismiss my feelings and not put his foot down with SD and BM for me I just get unhappy. What to do?
"Dh, I need us to find a way
"Dh, I need us to find a way to make this work with SD. No rules and no expectations is going to create a failure to launch. I want her to have a full life and be prepared for life.
I think that ___, ____, _____ are more than reasonable expectations of her. What do you think? What else could we do to prepare her for life?"
Time for the ultimatum. "You
Time for the ultimatum. "You will do X, or Y will happen." Have this talk with divorce papers on the table between you.
It may be the only thing that burns through.
The choice is not between you and his daughter, the choice is between his daughter and the marriage you make together. It is not about purging the SD from your life, it is about boundaries. The relationship with the SD should occur within those boundaries.
Good luck.