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step sons whipping boy

buckeye31's picture

Im new here n i guess im looking for some support. I hope im posting in the correct forum... Ill try to keep it short. I could go on forever. I have a 12 yr old step son. He has terrorized my home for four years now. He manipulates his dad. Whenever he does something wrong his dad takes it out on me. I feel on edge when ss is here. We have him 50/50. My husband constantly acts as though ss passive aggressive antics are my fault and he categorizes me as ss equal instead of the adult and his wife.... his equal. Ss has gone in and out of therapy. It doesnt help. Neither do psycotrpohic meds . According to the psychiatrists he is too young for the meds he needs anyhow. He has been diagnosed with adhd,ocd ,odd and manic depressive. Bc of ss success at manipulatin his dad, i feel like dh just constantly hates me. When ss is gone things are great. In recent past ive seriously felt as though i need to check in at a mental hospital. Ive had therapy on my own and with husband. It really didnt help. Decompressing did help but i dont feel i need a therapist to do that They established im normal and having a normal reaction to my situation. They have even worked with dh on not blowing up at me . For awhile it helped. Its worse again. Im considering asking a dr for anxiety meds so i stopping taking it personallywhen step son misbehaves, which is more than daily, and dh takes it out on me . Has anybody done this? Anybody have a way of working with a spouse to stop taking their kids nonsense out on their spouse? How about dealing with a child who has these issues? Step son has almost gone to jail for fighting and stealing this year. I just want to have a somewhat happy family life.

buckeye31's picture

Very sick of it... praying for better days
.. fear the day my stepson is arrested and worry the only way hell on earth will end with him is either thru death or when he is 18.

New second wife-step-mom's picture

You have a 12 yo SS and he (and your DH) has been doing this for FOUR years!

My suggest would be to leave. Seriously. If this child started at 8 yo and your DH has been taking it out on you for what his son does it sounds like you are in for a life of misery.

I would leave. If you want to have a happy family life then leave find your peceful happy life with someone else. This child has a long way to go before he is an adult. Maybe just maybe when he becomes an adult your DH MIGHT stop taking it out on you but I seriously doubt it. It will probably just get worse as this kid gets worse and gets into more trouble.

Sorry. Just my opinion... Sad

candice85's picture

I am so sick and tired of these so called dads not wanting to take any responsibility for there mistakes. They are always wanting to put the blame on everyone else to make themselves think they are not the problem. This child needs to go to boot camp! Your husband needs to wake up cause this child will end up in jail or in a coffin.