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Paranoid personality disorder

Runawayfiance's picture

I was wondering if any if you are step parents married to a spouse with a jealous and controlling tendency or a paranoid personality. How do you deal and has therapy helped?

Runawayfiance's picture

He always exhibited self doubt..  even I complimented him he would always say really?... He was over giving and generous first year but  then showed true colors the moment I asked for a break to breathe he couldnt. He was super jealous and think I'd cheat on him and question if I'd go back to my ex husband. He would think I'd come to his place in the middle of the night and move things around.. when I never stepped foot.

He didn't know how to make decisions. It's hard because I loved the wrong man. It's crazy..  when you here of loveless marriages ending in divorce in my case it's a loving engagement that ended because love was not enough to save this.

tog redux's picture

Don't marry someone with paranoid personality disorder. It can't be fixed and your life will be hellish.

Thumper's picture

OP, I saw you have been here posting since 2018. Struggling with whether or not to get married.

Its been a year and you are still struggling.

IF you have to ask that question the answer is no you shouldnt.

Sorry and goodluck.


Letti.R's picture

Unmarry - ie divorce - a personality disordered individual.
You can't fix crazy.
Or negotiate with it.
Or therapy your way out of it.

Rags's picture

End it.  My XW was a manipulative lying adulterous cavern crotched whore.  I have no regrets over the demise of that curse of a marriage.  I regret what it turned out to be, I do not regret the end of it. I married a beautiful, smart young woman. The next AM I woke up with a crazy whack job whore.  Literally it was that abrupt.

I probably would have stood myself in good stead if I had been a little bit paranoid.  She was perpetrating machinations beyond my ability to recognize in order to service the never ending stream of every swinging Johnson she could get her hands on during our blessedly short (2.5  years) marriage. 

These people are not worth the toilet paper it would take to wipe the shit stains they are off of  your butt.  

Do not give them a chance to pollute you life.

The second time around, I have an amazing bride to share my life with.  The difference between a marriage to an amazing, accomplished, honorable partner of character and the travesty of nuptials to a toxic nucking futz succubus/incubus of a life burden is beyond description. In my case my XW did not have her 3 all out of wedlock spawn by two different baby daddies until I was blessedly free of her crazy whore ass.

My incredible bride brought SS-26 to our marriage. We married the week before he turned 2yo.  Fortunately in my case crazy and toxic Vs amazing did not include my polluting my gene pool with my XW.  I am proud to be dad to my amazing bride's child and I would be proud if we had added a child or 12 to our family.  Since DW nearly died during her pregnancy with SS, I would not jeopardize her health and life just for a child of "my own". I already have a son of my own.  SS is my kid. Together his mom and I raised an amazing man and protected him from the shallow and polluted half of his gene pool.

Take care of you.  Write off the paranoid and the toxic.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

bananaseedo's picture

End it.  Want to know why?  I married someone who had all kinds of mental health issues and personality disorders.  He became very abusive.  I unfortunately procreated twice with him (2nd was a complete accident).

I divorced him when my kids were 2 and 4.  What happened? My now 19yr old has had some mental health issues brewing for last few years and refuses meds/help.  Ended in psych hospital 5 days and now is out and just as lost/sick as ever. Diagnosed with bi-polar 1 w/mania.  I can't even begin to describe the HELL we are living and the pain you feel.  IMO don't marry or have children if you are with someone a mental illness.  In addition, I think people with mental illness should likely chose to remain single/no children as to not pass on the hell or genes to anyone else.  

I regret having my son-yep. I said it. Why?  Because if I didn't I wouldn't have to see the sweet innocent boy I once loved torn apart with mental illness AND our whole family?  Why? because genetics get passed.  He's likely going to end up homeless or dead. That's his future....DON'T do it.