Help I HATE SS
I feel at my wits end, due to my Step Son. He's 8, I've been in his life since he was 2. He's always been a brat and it's only gotten worse. I have 2 bio daughters with his dad we've been married for 6 years. I love my husband dearly but this bastard has gotten the best of me. I've got no more patience for this kid, I HATE/CRINGE/LOATHE just hearing his name or at the thought of him, and I feel terrible for feeling this way. My husband unfortunately has full custody and we're stuck with him full time, he's supposed to be gone every other weekend, but his mom isn't reliable and doesn't seem to care much for him, when she does get him she dumps him off somewhere else. He's lazy, filthy, violent, liar, entitled, abuser and just the worst. I'm a SAHM so I'm in charge of picking him up from school and doing basically everything, for this kid. I've done it all this whole time, and I can't continue to do so, I'm depressed I hate my life all because of this person. You'd think it be easy for me to take my daughters and run, but I suspect that he has sexually abused my speech delayed 4 year old. I'm pretty much the only person who can understand her, and for a while she was complaining of vaginal pain and she was able to tell me that SS hurt her, mind you my DD is completely innocent and unaware of private parts and things of that nature. I told DH what was going on and we took her to the DR and he notices redness and discomfort, but said everything was intact so DH concluded that I made these allegations up. There has been other instances that they've been playing and I would find DD with her pants down, and again DH is oblivious to this. He works a lot and I'm the one mostly with the kids. I'm afraid of leaving because I'm know my daughter will be in danger and not taken care of if I'm not there. Naturally we would both have equal custody if it came to that, and I just can't trust them alone with out me there to watch. I'm beyond stressed that I have to keep watch 100% of the time. I hate my life, I'm trapped but I do it for my girls. There's other issues with SS too he cried so much at school and threw tantrums that he flunked 1st grade, so now we have an 8 year old in 1st grade still. He called CPS and said I choke him and lock him in his room and beat him, these allegations were found to be false. But going through that stress and trauma and putting my girls at risk too took a huge toll out of me. He pees everywhere on purpose, won't clean it so we end up doing it. I'm in such a bad mood that I rage at my daughters bc I'm so angry internally at SS. My husband won't discipline him, he feels guilty bc SS bio mom doesn't care for him. And I can't tell him anything or give him a spanking bc they threaten me with CPS. I believe in spanking if my girls act up they do get disciplined by me, DH even yells at them but won't say anything to his son, and my girls are 4 and 18 months. I'm not the perfect step mom I used to try hard and I now I do snap and yell at SS bc I've had it, I have to patience. I'm uncomfortable in my own home, I dread 3pm because I have to pick him up. I only get "peace" every other weekend but that's not enough anymore. His Bio mom and my In laws poisoned him against me, each chance they get. I feel like our relationship is diminished, there's no coming back I can't forgive what he's done. I don't look at him the same, when I say I HATE him it's pure rage, blackness and ugliness I'd never thought I'd have but I do. I used to be so happy now things are so bad, and my DH does try to keep me happy but I can't if SS is still here, and full time. Can anyone offer advice? I know it's a long post, thx for reading. Anything will help I can't talk to DH about this because he has blinders on when it comes to his son.