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Discipline LectureFrom BM Dad

stepmom1989's picture

So I am so fed up with EVERYTHING that involves the skids, BM and her parents' bull crap! Skids went to their moms for her weekend. I get a text from their BM saying "what's up with the spanking bulls**t?" I was like what the hck you mean? She said the youngest DD told her her daddy beat on her. I was like are you freaking SERIOUS!? For ONE heir Dad hasn't been even home to beat her he has been out of town on work! Yes, I swat her butt when she pealed paint off her bedroom wall when I JUST got done painting it! Then she goes alright. Sat afternoon she text me again saying "Just letting you know, my dad told me to let you know that he saw bruises and he is NOT happy. No more spankings from now on. You either put them in the corner or bedroom or take a toy away!"
So now not only are they blaming us for beating on them, youngest daughter is lying because she don't get away with crap like she doe ls at grandpas and the bruises she got from NORMAL outside play... is because we BEAT them!
I'm so pissed! Yes I believe in a swat now and again as a last resort when the corner, talking, extra don't get their attention. But it wouldn't even come CLOSE to making a bruise! They play outside ALL day. Fuss and fight, push each other down... THATS where they get a bruise! And the skids are such cons just like their BM and grandparents that they know if they give them a line of bullshit, they can just stay with their bm and be little lying bums who sit around and eat candy and watch cartoons all day.
I'm so sick of this! I wanted to call up big bad grandpa and say "well if you think we are such horable parents then YOU take them!" But I didn't because now we are in a tight situation because BMs dad hates us, skids lie their asses off, and skid has a bruise.

I'm so mad. What now??

stepmom1989's picture

Oh and I can already hear oldest SD. "Grandpa said if you touch us you are going to jail!"* Smerk*

Lalena75's picture

Here's the thing kids don't get, it is perfectly legal and within a caregivers right when standing in as a parent to swat a childs behind. If you go to your states abuse and neglect website it usually has a rundown of what isn't and is considered abuse. Highlight and print it out send it to dear old gpa document the accusations and the fact she said dad did it and the fact he wasn't around. If dad has given you permission to spank bm can't revoke that not her house not her place. Parents have to stop being afraid of the children.

stepmisery's picture

I was curious to find this out for my state, because I do know corporal punishment is still allowed in schools. So what I found is that while it is legal, with certain restrictions, that there are such people as CPS workers who feel that any spanking is abuse and the wording of the statute kinda leaves it up to interpretation.

It might be safer to simply not hit the child at all. You can't prove or disprove the bruise came from being spanked or playing outside. Why open yourself to being accused of abuse?

Disneyfan's picture

The kids are saying you did it and chances are they took pictures. If they decide to CPS, you will have to jump through hoops to prove that you didn't do anything wrong.

This is CYA time~cover your ass. Don't not hit them anymore.

Just because the law says we CAN do something, doesn't mean we SHOULD.

twopines's picture

As newwife3 said, I would no longer be around the brat alone. Life is too short to deal with that ridiculousness.

phoenixgem89's picture

if your not allowed to spank em, i say make their butts stand in the corner for a few days. they have to ask permission to go to the bathroom, and come right back and face the wall. worked wonders on me and my sister and cousins. i used it on my SS13, and he was complaining the whole time. told him nope, your not going to do a damn thing but stand in that corner. dont like it, go live with your uncle (which is not an option by far). his retort was to punch the wall, and i think he regretted that b/c the wall he punched has several studs in it and he hit one of them. :3

phoenixgem89's picture

ooooh, im going to steal this punishment! my SS is urking me to no end today asking if he can play games. I have FULL paint cans... }:)

phoenixgem89's picture

haha hes almost 13, and he drives me NUTS. im about to have an accident with his games. but yes, paint cans = heavy. hes going to be moving my wood pile very shortly as well. im tired of it killing my grass. not to mention when winter comes, i aint walkin my butt across the yard for a log!

Gabriels Mom's picture

These are the kind of punishments I like }:) You can do the same thing with bricks and digging a hole and making him fill it back up. My dad did that to my brother he made him dig a hole that was 4x4x4 and then when he was done told him to fill it back up. My brother was like "WHAT?!?!?!?!" oh yea he hated that punishment. oooo and push ups!

stepmom1989's picture

They come back to us in 2 1/2 hours. I'm dreading the thought. In my state it says cruel and inhuman corporal punishment. So I guess it is kids rule over everyone. Well... things are gunna change. Ill put up with it till the end of the summer... then we are taken bm back to court. I'm no longer watching them after this summer... she can have them FULL TIME! Kids are already just like her so I'm done. I'm documenting everything till then... no more swats but I am no longer going to be close to them... that's for damn sure. They want to lie and con, then they will live with the one who taught them that!

Poodle's picture

This sounds like the right solution. Give BMs like this enough rope and they will hang themselves.

stepmom1989's picture

CPS wouldn't see it that way. Parents have no rights anymore! I'm a Christian and follow the Bible. My mom spanked us with my dads belt and we sat holding our butts for a good half an hour! To this day, I deserved each one of my spankings and learned from them. But since we discipline at our house, bm lets them do whatever... they are getting old enough to know that if they lie, act up, whine... they will get their way. I'm seriously done. A swat on the bum every now and again for something major they did wrong is NOT abuse. If I can't correct them the way I have always done, grandpa can have the little monsters! Youngest is 4 1/2 and oldest is 7. The oldest is the one who cons her younger sisters into crap so I know she told youngest to say daddy bet her so we can stay with mom.
They will get what they want... that's for sure! I'm done!