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custody question

stephell's picture

Hi Im new here so wasnt sure where to post this. Me and my husband have been married for 7 years. We have a his mine and ours issue. His is 14 and a living hell on all of us including his dad. mine is 11 and ours is 6. My problem is in 7 years me and my son have endured SS wrath. He talk s back is a bully to my bS He was spoiled rotten when we got married cause his mom dumped him in dads lap and said here. now shes headed to prison for meth lab. Recently he took off with friend across town to the bowling alley it was a big uproar. Of course BM blamed me like usuall cause he was under my care while dad was doing his own thing at a friends. SS told me his problem was dad said he would never get married again (did i mention dad was married to another woman before me after BM who used him to buy a house then kicked them out) and that when he did anyway he dumped him in my lap just like his mom did to BF. So the problem he said was me. My BS has been trying to get me to let him go live with his dad in another county cause he's tired of living with SB. My ex has already cleaned out a room for him. I dont want him to go but im afraid if i dont he'll leave and wont ever come back. Dad only gets to see him on holidays as it is now. I think getting him out of the cituation is actually a good idea. we have a more than great rlationship we are very close. So my question is , has anybody heard of custody where the child lives with each parent in six month intervals going to two different schools each year. as it is now it is impossible to go woth our original joint custody cause of school when we live so far apart. this is the only salution we can come up with without losing my son to my x. I dont want to be like SS BM.my BS is great with it and has no problem with switching schools he sais considering he dont really have friends just acwaintaces hes not real attached to.

Anne 8102's picture

I don't think switching schools every six months is a good idea. Unless you live in the same school district and the curriculum and schedule are the same at both schools, it might be impossible to get him a complete education. For instance, my son and my niece are both in the third grade. There are certain topics that all third graders have to cover, like cursive writing, multiplication tables, etc. Well, they will both cover all topics in the course of the year, but they are not learning the same things at the same times. Son's science unit right now is rocks and minerals. Niece already covered this at the beginning of the year and they are working on a unit that my son's class won't cover until the end of the year. If they were to change places, they would cover some things twice and other things not at all. Yes, the staff at both schools could catch them up, I guess, and it wouldn't be detrimental to make one permanent change during a given school year, but I don't think it would be good to make the swap every six months. I think it would be too hard on your son to catch up on things he's missed, and boring when they are covering things he's already learned.

If he does go live with his dad, I think your best bet educationally is to let dad have him during the school year and you get him on weekends, long breaks, school holidays and all summer. It won't work out to a full six months, but it would be close.

~ Anne ~

Nothing can come of nothing.
(Shakespeare, King Lear)