So over it, but it never changes..
It's been a 2 1/2 year roller coaster and I still love him dearly, but damn I was not prepared for all the mental issues. He has 2 Xwives and #2 is annoying (BM of SS9), but i can handle her. #1 was a pos (BM of SD18), she had mental issues that she passed down to her daughter (SD18). I honestly thought at some point it would get better, but I think it just gets worse. SD18 has been hospitalized and is mood disorder (too young for the bipolar diagnosis that is coming). I am a Special Education teacher, just never thought I would be dealing with these issues in my own home...
BM (x#2), who I like to call psycho made my life a living hell... so many examples... taking pictures of us over our privacy fence, brining police to our home to deliver a blank piece of paper, taking my underwear (I only had 3 pairs left), planting meth in my bed and his truck, and screaming constantly as I'm calling the police for the hundreth time "when your done with #3 call me like you always do." ugh.. Police didn't help much, they just told me that they make these great little things called guns to protect myself with.. have one, just didn't think shooting the psycho would be great for her daughter, nor my teaching career. Restraining orders are not for people who have been married in the state of MO unless your life has been threatened... I was LOSING my shit and beginning to feel crazy, too. He had always taken the stance that "don't provoke the bear" and just let her craziness rage on through his second marraige of many of the same instances. I took SD18 homecoming dress shopping and she had a cow that I bought her dress and how dare I try to be her mother.. I should focus on my own children.. to which I replied "well you can give me the $ for the dress and we can pretend like you bought it... oh wait.. you don't have money.. just a state check.. and you could always do these things with her, but you won't, so I do" Fast-forward through all kinds of hell and we get a call that the coroner is at her house, BM, psycho had hanged herself.. It is the worst thing I have ever felt.. relief because I could possibly have a normal life again. I went to church, I prayed forgiveness, but the relief is there.. At this point SD18 had moved out of our house when she was 16 becuase she didn't like that there were rules and she wasn't running the house (x#2 was never a priority and SD18 was more life his wife and confidante). Makes for a very skewed life.. So even though I feel SAFER I still have a ton of mess to deal with, a mentally ill, depressed SD who is pissed that her dad gives me attention.. it's a whole ball of crazy. She posts horrible things that people tell me about and blames her dad for all of her mom's issues and being mean about her mom and making SD18 feel isolated because he hated her mom. So many other issues from years and years and so many trips to the sherrifs dept where she had put her daughter in danger, but she's the saint.. He is upset and feels horrible/depressed about his lack of time with his daughter.. I tried contacting her and telling her she still has one parent that cares, but it has to be on HER terms. SD18 has bounced back and forth between dating 2 druggies, the current one is in trouble and has all kinds of charges against him, not sure what's going to happen to him.. looking at 20 years. She also got picked up for possession the other day.
I am at a loss as to what to do, I honestly tried with this kid, but she was too far gone before I came along.. sad thing is she is supremely manipulative and no one sees it. She wants daddy all to herself and if she can't have that, then she will punish him by ignoring him. Thing is when he's single, she runs and pays no atttention to him either. Only when she feels threatened by someone else does she start the "daddy" crap. It's exhauting.. She thrives off pity, everyone has felt sorry for her for years becuase she has a crazy mom (including her dad/ my DH). So they have all created this monster of epic proportions. She loves to post how "My dad left me for the Brady Bunch". Jesus... I cannot even stand her anymore with her manipulations and pity party AND I TRIED for 2 years to be good to her, but then that was too much and made her feel bad for her mom.. so I'll be the BITCH and take the blame, I'm so tired of caring..