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Here we go again...the next wave.

QTsmum's picture

Anyone else's psycho just come in massive waves? BM is a complete sociopath, narcissist, psychopath...all of it. It has been quiet for a little while and that got shattered today when she messaged SO (out of no where) to sign over being SS's main residence to her "or else she's taking him to court and filing a report with CAS (Child services)". She likes to use this one because she knows we have filed a CAS report on her and put an emergency custody order through the courts earlier this year. (She hacked my FB account, where she got all this information I had had in a conversation with a friend who actually works for CAS and advised us to report ASAP). CAS is welcome here for a cuppa' tea any time, and he'd happily go to court!

She threatens this every time SO says anything to her, or she doesn't get her way. SO said he would sign it over if she got letters from her Doctor, Shrink and Dietician saying she was in good standing physical and mental heath, which she agreed to (this was in their written agreement). So he told her no and she lost her shit, as per usual. She text him 14 times in a row, called him (he didn't answer any) and once she realized he wasn't going to respond, she called his MOM (HIS MOM!) and told her that my SO "isn't answering his phone" and that she needs to take SS to the hospital (you know, emergently after she sent 14 texts calling SO this and that and on and on...) and he just won't respond to her, and she really needs his moms help. So his mom called all concerned (His mom non-stop buys into her BS. She takes SS for a huge chunk of psycho's custody days because BM doesn't want the kid, but she also doesn't want SO to have him). The mom calls SO freaking out and he flat out said he's not getting caught up in the BS anymore. That the kid is fine and it's all part of her shit and lies to get him to feel bad and to get him on the phone so she can try to get what she wants.

All of a sudden his mom texts saying that psycho text her and said the kid "barfed 3 times, she gave him medicine and she doesn't need to take him to the hospital"; or in other words, her bluffed was called and she has no leg to stand on.

It's so f*cking exhausting. This means that this is the beginning of ANOTHER sh!t storm. And it always happens when we have these huge business matters to handle, so stress is an all time high and it becomes VERY difficult to manage. I'm already high anxiety enough.

Not to mention tomorrow is my Birthday and SO was going to go out to finish making something special as a surprise for my Bday (which has never happened before, so I felt pretty special); and after she started her shit, he was too exhausted to go and said I'll have to take a rain check. So that hurts a little; as it's not the first time I've come last to her and her BS. Sad Not trying to go fora sob story, but I'm not going to stress him out any by saying anything... it just sucks. He's trying to create these boundaries and she's just so bloody much and does everything to get at him. A few months ago, she got his dad involved in the BS, which was ludicrous. Every little string that she can pull when he's trying not to get involved, she pulls. She even got my phone # some how and left me a message one day (you better believe that number got blocked fast!) It just seems like there's no escaping it. *sigh*

For a long time I wished she'd get well, but now I wish she would just vanish. She is the only person I've ever truly hated to the core.

notsobad's picture

We used to get the waves too.
We always knew when she was fighting with a BF, getting fired, or the skids weren’t bowing to her every wish. The crazy would amp up when her life was going badly.

If she was making money, or happy in her relationship we heard nothing.

Luckily, the skids were young adults and so we could easily ignore her.

Now, whenever SD is super stressed or upset, we know things are bad for BM. BM will dump all her problems on SD and make her feel responsible for her unhappiness, her financial problems, her insecurities, her whatever.
DH will talk with SD and try to reassure her that she isn’t responsible for BM. I stay out of it and let them have father daughter time.

not your momma's picture

No advice, but Happy Birthday! It's my birthday, too, and I'm hoping for calmness.

No Name's picture

Happy birthday! Block her from your lives. Take a social media break. He should also ask his parents/family to block her. Distance sounds like the best option. Out of sight out of mind? We blocked BM and we have caller ID on the phones and let all calls go to voice mail unless we know who it is that is calling. We went off of all social media. She is not going to vanish but you all could try to do it!

QTsmum's picture

His mum can't walk away, she's addicted to enabling BM. It's disgusting. It won't ever stop, I had to almost yell at her to get her to stop inviting BM and I to family events together (inviting her, my and my children to Xmas eve or thanksgiving dinner for years after they separated.. It's a really weird dynamic which has been a stressor on our relationship, because my SO wants out of the BS but his mum drags him back in for BM because she 'feels bad' for her. But BM is never going to get better with enablers by her side. It's frustrating.

Ispofacto's picture

It's time to give MIL an ultimatum, either she blocks BM or you and DH block MIL.

QTsmum's picture

He used to be an enabler, as bad as his mom is to her. I think I'm just grateful to see him handling her this way, finally. I know he's making an effort because we spoke about it before (spoke meaning me reaching the end of my rope watching the enabling). I struggled all through out our relationship not knowing what was normal, acceptable, or how to hell someone like her should even be handled. I guess a small step forward is satisfying, knowing he's making an effort. I know it's not nearly perfect and it's sucks that my feelings are hurt but we are moving forward. It's on me for not letting him know how important his follow through was. I need to grow more of a backbone. I do know that (though I'm not a total door mat)

Stepped in what momma's picture

Steprightoff said this beautifully and is dead on to what I was thinking when I read OP's post.
You get what you allow yourself to get.

Thumper's picture

To answer your question I will share a little somethin' somethin' .

Several years ago BM's husband called US and told my DH the following.

"SHE is at it again"

Dh and I knew what he meant.

That is all I am going to say about THAT.