Abusive ex wife/baby mama - how to cope?
My boyfriends ex, and mother of his children, is bipolar and possibly has borderline personality disorder she has severe substance abuse, alcohol, issues and has been known to punish/beat the children with belts, wooden spoons, use hot sauce in their mouth's, and use cold showers as far as a punishment. We endured parenting evaluation and attempted to fight for custody, but failed.
Since then, the children have got a bit older. She has coached them into not telling anyone about the abuse at home. They used to come over with stories of her drinking and her beatings. Now whenever asked about how they're treated at their mothers house, they get very nervous, fidgety, defensive and deny it adamantly. I know in my heart that they are still being abused and there's nothing I can do to help them. I worry about the psychological toll her coaching is taking on their little minds. I cannot stand the injustice, I want to help them but I can't. It's so unfair that she treats them so poorly but they love her so much.
How do all of you stepmoms cope with how much your step children love their bio mom, despite how poorly she treats them? Do any of you feel like you treat your stepchildren better than their bio mom does? How do you handle that?
it's so hard to witness their unconditional love for her when she treats them so badly. It hurts me when they lie to my face about what goes on over at her house, because I know what's happening. It hurts when they lie to me and choose her over me when they choose to protect her and stop telling truth. She has told them that she will go to jail and they will never see her again if they tell anyone what she does to them and how much she drinks at home.