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Spouses ex wife false accusations

Stepmommydawn's picture

Well last night my spouse and his ex were talking about their daughters eating habbits. She had been caught in a lie and decided she would call the cops and accuse me of child abuse. The story changed many times before she actually called the cops. They showed up and treated as if nothing was done wrong on either side even went out of the way to tell me my step daughter loves me very much . I'm more or less curious on any ideas how to nip this issue vefore she continues her lies . Weekly she tells my ex im cheating . Tells my step daughter im going to force her to sleep in the closet once her baby brother. Im just curious if anyone else is going through this and how they deal with it . Im heart broken that i was accused of such a terrible thing .

Stepmommydawn's picture

Ive considered attorney but were still paying and going through court for custody because she refuses to comply with vourt orders , but she seems to get away scott free. She abondoned her husband and chld and never had anything to do with her until i came along. The court system seems to be very against the single father raising a child . Her nonsense has put us so much debt already .

Stepped in what momma's picture

If someone was dragging my name through the mud and my job depended on my background I'd pawn my SO'S TV and tools before I would could site finances as the reason why I wouldn't take legal action. I am picking his stuff to pawn to make sure I get him as motivated as possible to nip the crap in the bud. Biggrin

Disneyfan's picture

What do you do for a living? Claims of abuse are a HUGE deal breaker for me. No matter how much I love a man, I will not stay with a man that comes with baggage that can impact my career or pension.

You have to really think long and hard about the impact all of this can have on you and your child.

Stepmommydawn's picture

Her calling the cops has already caused a storm .Im currently in corporate sales for a large company and plan to switch jobs to working at the CRA again once my recovery from a car crash. ANY type of police presents in my life effects security clearances I have obtained for my line of work. From what the police said i wasn't in any sort of trouble and my only history with child services was being a mentor in a few community programs. I'm hoping this is only a one time thing as she has done it once for every member of his family including him. Heres for hope !

Stepmommydawn's picture

Her calling the cops has already caused a storm .Im currently in corporate sales for a large company and plan to switch jobs to working at the CRA again once my recovery from a car crash. ANY type of police presents in my life effects security clearances I have obtained for my line of work. From what the police said i wasn't in any sort of trouble and my only history with child services was being a mentor in a few community programs. I'm hoping this is only a one time thing as she has done it once for every member of his family including him. Heres for hope !

Stepmommydawn's picture

Her calling the cops has already caused a storm .Im currently in corporate sales for a large company and plan to switch jobs to working at the CRA again once my recovery from a car crash. ANY type of police presents in my life effects security clearances I have obtained for my line of work. From what the police said i wasn't in any sort of trouble and my only history with child services was being a mentor in a few community programs. I'm hoping this is only a one time thing as she has done it once for every member of his family including him. Heres for hope !

Stepmommydawn's picture

Her calling the cops has already caused a storm .Im currently in corporate sales for a large company and plan to switch jobs to working at the CRA again once my recovery from a car crash. ANY type of police presents in my life effects security clearances I have obtained for my line of work. From what the police said i wasn't in any sort of trouble and my only history with child services was being a mentor in a few community programs. I'm hoping this is only a one time thing as she has done it once for every member of his family including him. Heres for hope !

Thumper's picture

Puhhhh.. :?

Since THAT didn't work the x will report something that will stick. Don't you get it?

Your not seeing this for what it is AND you are not protecting yourself.

I honestly don't understand what your hoping for. Hoping the x stops, hoping when your charged the judge see's thru the x? Hoping your Boss believes you? Hoping the community you supported believes YOU?

When the weather man is telling NYC your going to see 10 to 12 inches of snow---hoping he is wrong is one thing.
When an x has proven to you they want to ruin you...having hope is weak

YOU must begin to see this situation for what it is not what you HOPE IT WILL BE.

geeze and I do wish you well.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Your first priority is YOURSELF. Whether or not you like it, there's a target on your back and you need to take steps to protect yourself. What your SD attempted to do to you is a complete game changer.

Think of your skid as a vicious dog controlled by handler BM. She has trained that dog to attack certain people. So do you try to cuddle with the dog? Of course not. Do you persist in being around the dog, hoping that it won't attack you today? No, because thats not safe either. You stay away from the dog.

Hope isn't going to save you from a damaged skid carrying the genes of a mentally ill BM. The fact that your SD has cried wolf before isn't going to make a difference when you can't pass a background check.

You need to implement some hard limits, period dot. Start by telling your SO that you are not going to allow SD to jeopardize your career Disengage immediately. Don't be involved in any parenting or day to day care of your SD, and never, ever be alone with her. Install cameras in you home to record interactions. And there should be some very, very serious consequences for that kid.

There are several members here who do not allow dangerous skids in their home at all, and the fathers exercise their visitation elsewhere. You should seriously consider this option.

Good luck.

Rags's picture

Time to press the full suite of civil and criminal charges. Defamation of whatever else will stick and purge this POS from your families life. Best case is she goes to jail for an extended period combined with a very expensive award of civil damages. Your Skid's BM or not... the Skids should not be exposed to her crap. Ever.

Rags's picture

The whole family law thing can be infuriating. Particularly when the target of toxic crap has little recourse.

Constant work's picture

This person sounds like a High Conflict Person. Check into Bill Eddy's High Conflict Institute. He has some great videos on You Tube around EAR statements and BIFF as well. If nothing else, it will reduce your stress and teach you how to talk/write to them so they don't react like a crazy person (which they probably are).

mtlbettie's picture

One of the first things my sd's bm did was accuse my husband of dv the night we had a small victory in the custody case. It cost us $3500 on top of our custody court costs plus we had to fight a restraining order as well. Both judges laughed it out of court but it still cost us the lawyer fees and if her story had been better, there could have been dire consequences. My husband is Belgian and just had a green card which a dv may have affected. She never came after me personally but she knew I worked in juvenile parole and would have destroyed her with my crystal clean record. For years I thought she would make up a sex offense, so I essentially took care of anything that involved nudity for years. The only thing she ever threatened after that was to call CPS because I used colored hairspray in the child's hair. I gave her the number and name at the CPS office since they were on the floor below me. Protect yourself at all costs.