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Quarantine Summer from Hell!

Gh4975's picture
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I had to take FMLA for the summer due to not having childcare for my 4 yr old son & I am definitely having too much time with my almost 12 yr old SS.  My husband has his own business & works a lot.  There's a very awkward atmosphere in the house because of my SS.  He keeps eating in his room even though he's been punished for it numerous times! I feel so disrespected & fed up!  I expect him to do a few chores & a few pgs in a workbook & then he can do video games for awhile,but he almnever does what he's supposed to.  It's even written down & he's been told over & over!  I barely even take him to stores or parks when I go with my little guy because he will complain. I also don't want him to come so I can get a break from him!  My husband doesn't like that I leave him home,but hes old enough.  Any advice is appreciated.

tog redux's picture

Where is SS's mother? Why is he with you and not her?

It's not your job to parent or educate his kid. Let your DH know that you will report back to him in the evening about SS's behavior, and DH can give him any necessary consequences for not following the rules or doing his school work.  Then just let SS do whatever and leave the discipline up to your DH.

Gh4975's picture

His mother is around once in awhile. My husband has full custody because she disappears very often & was in jail for 3 years.

How can I not give him a little work to do before he gets screen time? I kindof had to step in with his education because his father didn't. He used to cry during homework & I was always dealing with it after work. I got him tested & he has Adhd. He ended up getting extra help at school. I also want to set an example for our 4 yr old that you can't just do what you want.  How do you find a balance? It's very tough.  I want to have some harmony.  I really dislike him & try to avoid him as much as possible.

tog redux's picture

He's not your kid, and if his father doesn't care, nothing you do will make a difference.  Your 4-year-old has a different mother, and he/she can be reminded of that when he/she gets old enough to notice a difference in how SS is parented. 

SeeYouNever's picture

Remind you DH that 4 and 12 year olds rarely want to do the same thing. I would then ask him how he thinks SS should be motivated to do school work because you're out of ideas and your strategies aren't working. Pass the buck right back to the actual parent. 

 

Gh4975's picture

I have reminded him that they aren't into the same things & especially with the virus my SS doesn't need to go. My 4 yr old has to.  The school work is tough for me.  I've tried to just ignore it,but I can't. I feel bad that his dad doesn't seem to care about education much.  I also want some example for my little guy.  Thank you for the advice