Disengaged fro a year
Many of you know my story...YEARS of SK abuse. Paying rent, paying bills, taking them on every vacation. Now, as adults, they are far worse. So, I decided to disengage. I'm a very good-hearted person, so this was tough on me. I always had the dream that we would get along. Trust me, it's just a dream.
I was forbiddent to talk or have contact with one grandson. However, DH took him fishing recently and this teen, who has called me every name in the book, runs to the ex (other grandmother) to "report" on me when we are on vacation--asked ME: "so, when are we going on vacation this summer".I told him to ask his grandfather. I've encouraged DH to visit his kids and grandkids whenever he wants. I will not be there. DH understands. And,no my step grandson will NOT be coming on my ONLY vacation of the year! I feel baldy as I know it's really not all his fault as the ex has poisoned him against me. But, on vacation, he will call the ex if he sees me open a bottle of wine! No thank you.
Further, he has used one of my deivces and I found all these messages between he and the ex where she tells him I am "evil" and he tells her he "had better be nice to me at Christmas or she won't buy me what I want". He knows he is forbiddent to say anything good about me. So, my sadness at not taking him is overpowered by the fact that he MUST say awful things about me to keep his grandmother in his circle. So sad...I find the ex to be engaged in child abuse by demanding he hate me. She is a very miserable woman who has poisoned the entire stepfamily,.
One SGS just graduated high school and I did not attend. My adult SD was miffed. Miffed? This is the same Sd who I invited to my my summer house(wioth all of her kids), who pretended I did not exist the whole vacation and sent a letter, fom each of her kids, addressed to my DH thaking HIM for a wonderful vacation---no mention of me. That did it.
Disengagement works---you will have peace.