Adult Step Children Staying With Us
DH and I have been married 11 years. During that time neither of his grown children have wanted to accept me or my daughter. DH has pushed me to accommodate their wishes to keep things as they were when their mother was alive although they were 45 and 48 when we married. I have requested we change things up by not spending every visit in the same house for days and instead find neutral places to vacation or visit. The skids and their spouses have written and said awful things about me to DH so I am not comfortable spending days together in one house. They say us spending time in a hotel near their house is “not family” and rude. A family therapist as advised us it is more healthy staying close but separate. Just curious if anyone else stays in a hotel when visiting skids or family? One other note, SS does not have a guest room so we are offered cots in a garage.
You have to set your own
You have to set your own boundaries; do not expect husband to be on your side in this emotional war, he created. You stay away anytime you are not comfortable being with the sweeties. Look out for yourself; they are pushing you by calling you rude to control you. These kinds of people must control, and will not stop until they control, because daddee always lets them control--anybody.... But, you take control of you. Just say no or stay away from the crazy show completely. It is your life and you deserve happiness, not stress.
Before I disengaged from
Before I disengaged from OSD43, DH and I frequently booked hotels when going to her city. I did not want to stay in her house; she was so "nice" to me when DH was in the room but would get right in my face and make inappropriate comments to make me uncomfortable.
However, the best thing to do is not see them at all if possible. I have zero relationship with OSD43 and have not seen her in years. It works well for DH and I.
I refuse to stay at any of my ILs houses
I value my health too much to expose myself to that toxic environment. And I can only take so much togetherness with the extended IL clan. So... we stay at the only decent hotel in town or .... we stay 20Miles away.
Even my wife can handle only so much of her own family. She has little in common with them, there is always an underlying tension and drama fest in play, and it is extremely emotionally draining for her. I just am who I am and call them on their toothless moron bullshit. Guess who is the popular one in the mix? Not me.
We regularly stay at my parent's home. It is comfortable, clean, spacious and my parents like my bride more than they like me. *pardon* We all get along very well.
I wouldn't go on these
I wouldn't go on these punishing visits. Let DH go alone. Cruel treatment and sleeping on a cot in the garage, no thanks! Tell them you're busy passing a kidney stone.