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Downtowncrabby's picture
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So it would be nice if bm and dh would co parent and try to be on the same road with raising kids. How do parents co parent when one (bm) doesnt care what her kids do or she ponds them off to dh every chance she gets then tells dh to control his kids. No rules no structure no control

MamaDuck's picture

You arrange a sit down with the other parent, have a productive conversation with them, address any and all issues of concern, focus on solutions (don't point fingers eg; you don't have a bed time, and that's why the kids are a wreak the next day), agree on a plan of action and go their merry ways.

Well, that's what NORMAL people do, but if one party is a high conflict personality disordered asshole, a 'sit down' will turn into a mud slinging war.

If BM is not the type to compromise and be reasonable, it is BEST to avoid trying to co-parent and instead look into parallel parenting.

My ex and I get along well, but we parent very differently! Our DD adjusts nicely from house to house and that's always been the case. So I'd say that as long as you guys are are consistent with being firm and fair in your own home, the kids should learn and accept how things are done at your home.

Monchichi's picture

This is about your best advice:

If BM is not the type to compromise and be reasonable, it is BEST to avoid trying to co-parent and instead look into parallel parenting.

When 2 people parent in completely opposite ways, or along comes a SM who parents versus 2 people who didn't you're asking for headaches.