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This weekends issues....because it’s always something!

Biostep7777's picture

DH landed from a work trip 10 min late. He contacts BM and lets her know. Of course she makes a big deal out of it because she has tennis practice to get to. 

Mind you....they stay alone ALL THE TIME while she goes to work. They are 11 and almost 15. Lol!! She made it seem like she couldn't leave them home alone for 10 minutes when DH was in his way and notified her. Omg! Haaahahaha! Ridiculous! 
Then she told him that he needs to notify her when he is traveling. Like....what? She said "this is the second time that I know of that you have been out of town and didn't tell me. As the other parent you should let me know when you travel" What is literally wrong with her?? He doesn't have to tell her anything about his personal life. He laughed so hard when he read that and completely ignored her. She is such a control freak. Lol! 

Cookieboom's picture

Same here.  BM demanded from BF when he used to travel the plane company name and flight, the hotel he was staying and the room number, the type of car he was renting and the plate number.  I could not beleive it when he showed me the email.  WTF!!!! This all ended, of course, when I told him its none of her business and to tell her so..Maybe thats why she hates me??? 

NOW she will send an email stating, "SInce you are a pu%%y and won't answer me blah blah blah..." after she corresponds over foolishness which he does not respond....

Stepdrama2020's picture

Mind games and control seems like BM's BFF.

Good that your DH ignores.

Biostep7777's picture

Right??? She's completely crazy. Could you imagine if he said that to her!!?? It would be "you do not control me it what I do on my time!!" Of course he would never ask her that because he couldn't care less about anutyng to do with her. She just wants to be relevant in his life. It's sooooo weird! 

strugglingSM's picture

Some BMs will do anything to "stay relevant" even if it means demanding info that is none of their business. 

BM in my life does the same thing over being late. She threatened legal action when DH's job changed and he could no longer get to her house at the end of the school day...even though she was home and managed just fine when it wasn't his weekend. 

She also told DH he owed her $1200 when he was admitted to the hospital via the emergency room on Thursday evening for a possibly life-threatening reaction to medication and therefore, could not take the children on Friday evening. Meanwhile, she will regularly send him a text about some "emergency" that comes up on Thursday, which required her to switch weekends starting the next day. 

Ispofacto's picture

He doesn't necessarily need to notify her for 10 minutes late, but maybe he could keep it shorter if he does, "Running 10 mins late".  No explanation.

Normal rules of politeness don't apply to HCBMs.  The less they know the better.


advice.only2's picture

Right or he could say "10 minutes out" that way he's not saying he's late, just giving a time of arrival.

Biostep7777's picture

That's a good idea too but she will just message him and get on record "you were 10 minutes late" ugh. 

SteppedOut's picture

I mean... who cares? Let her keep the record - not like a judge is going to think he is a crap parent for being 10mins late occasionally and fine him or take custody time. 

Giving a polite and short heads up is fine. 

Biostep7777's picture

Yeah I totally get that. He did want her to know it was because of something out of his control though. He just said "just got back in town. Landed 10 min late so I'm on my way" 

That way she can't say "he just doesn't show up in time" saying he landed a few minutes late covers him. I think it's ok to say things ONE TIME than end it. She will keep bringing it up but this way he's covered. 

The_Upgrade's picture

If she wants movement updates I would suggest DH notifies BM of every bowel movement. But she’ll probably find a way to take offence at the minutes he’s locked away from his kids pushing out a crap....

FinallySkidFree's picture

I imagine he is sending her these updates via OFW? And she in turn is responding on OFW? Because that all gets transcriped to the court, does she know that?

failuretolaunch's picture

I think I would be reminding her she leaves them on their own for longer when it suits her.